My brother and his partner have recently had a baby. Their relationship has always been rocky and they have split up countless times, leading the family to be concerned about whether it was a good idea for them to have a child - but nothing was said either to him or her about our concerns.

The child was born a couple of months ago and things have got worse. My brother's girlfriend has told my brother than my mum interferes too much with the baby's upbringing and also that my brother needs to untie himself from the apron strings. As such, she's told my mum that she won't be able to see her grandaughter from now on and that has put a lot of pressure on my brother as he doesn't want this situation but, at the same time, is worried that he will also not have many rights if he and his girlfriend split up.

He has convinced himself that he needs to back his girlfriend on this and deny our parents the chance to see their grandchild, even though it's not what he wants.

I'd appreciate any advice or experience that might help here as I don't know what to advise him. He's effectively trapped in a bullying relationship and frightened that the law won't protect him

Thanks

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Originally Posted by neilt34

My brother and his partner have recently had a baby. Their relationship has always been rocky and they have split up countless times, leading the family to be concerned about whether or not it was a good idea for them to have a child - but nothing was said either to him or her about our concerns.

The child was born a couple of months ago and things have got worse. My brother's girlfriend has told my brother than my mum interferes too much with the baby's upbringing and also that my brother needs to untie himself from the apron strings. As such, she's told my mum that she won't be able to see her grandaughter from now on and that has put a lot of pressure on my brother as he doesn't want this situation but, at the same time, is worried that he will also not have many rights if he and his girlfriend split up.

He has convinced himself that he needs to back his girlfriend on this and deny our parents the chance to see their grandchild, even though it's not what he wants.

I'd appreciate any advice or experience that might help here as I don't know what to advise him. He's effectively trapped in a bullying relationship and frightened that the law won't protect him

Thanks

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Where is your brother? Perhaps in the UK?

Laws vary from place to place concerning Grandparents' rights.

If the DO split your brother has the right to visit with the child, including overnight visits (and perhaps have custody, if the mother is unfit) and that would include the right to take the child to visit her Grandparents. Unless they are unfit if your brother and the girlfriend split she cannot dictate who visits with the child and who cannot.

Of course, the mother can certainly make your brother's life miserable by nagging at him but there's no legal answer to that.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Where is your brother? Perhaps in the UK?

Laws vary from place to place concerning Grandparents' rights.

If the DO split your brother has the right to visit with the child, including overnight visits (and perhaps have custody, if the mother is unfit) and that would include the right to take the child to visit her Grandparents. Unless they are unfit if your brother and the girlfriend split she cannot dictate who visits with the child and who cannot.

Of course, the mother can certainly make your brother's life miserable by nagging at him but there's no legal answer to that.

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Thanks very much for your response. In answer to your question, yes we live in the UK. Not totally sure what the UK legal position is. Do you know what constitutes someone being considered "unfit"? My brother's girlfriend currently doesn't want them seeing their grandchild as she thinks my mum contacts my brother too often and is therefore too fussy! Not realistic grounds for her to do something like this, but I suppose that's her own issue.

My brother is scared that his girlfriend will try and continue to prevent our parents from seeing my niece. I think you have reassured me that that cannot happen

Many thanks

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Originally Posted by neilt34

Thanks very much for your response. In answer to your question, yes we live in the UK. Not totally sure what the UK legal position is. Do you know what constitutes someone being considered "unfit"? My brother's girlfriend currently doesn't want them seeing their grandchild as she thinks my mum contacts my brother too often and is therefore too fussy! Not realistic grounds for her to do something like this, but I suppose that's her own issue.

My brother is scared that his girlfriend will try and continue to prevent our parents from seeing my niece. I think you have reassured me that that cannot happen

Many thanks

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Can't tell you about the UK - in the US the parent has to be a danger to the child in order to be unfit. Would guess it's close or the same - but, again, just a guess.

Someone will come along who knows -

Good luck.