Hi everyone:

I just wanted to ask for advice/opinions regarding the use of a vibrator while having sex. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months, and up until the last 2 weeks I never achieved orgasm during sex. It was really pleasurable, but I just never was able to get to that point.

Now we've started using a vibrator on my during sex,and it's AMAZING> I orgasm every time and he LOVES seeing me go crazy.

My only problem is, I feel kind of strangely guilty, not in a huge way, just a bit bad for having to use extra stimulation to get off. I feel like I should be able to orgasm with just me and my man and no other stimulus.

Is this OK? I feel pretty good about it and a lot more excited about sex, but is there any risk for like desensitizing the or something? Lol I don't know, just what are your opinions/advice? :confused:

You feel guilty for doing something that makes you happy?! You are either crazy or really young! Lolo do you think that there would be so many babies born in this world if everyone felt guilty about doing what makes them happy? And who caused you to even feel such guilt and self hate about being happy? Who ever it was (pardon the pun lol) screw them. Are they going to come visit you in prison when you end up so sexually frustrated that one day after eating more than your weight in chunky monkey ice cream you waddle down the street and kidnap and sexually assaulting the cute boy down the street and you end up in prison where they don't even have chunky monkey any way? LOL

As long as you BOTH enjoy it, just about ANYTHING is okay in the bedroom.

If it drives him crazy and you're having fun, I don't see any problem with it. Remember, how would you know what is traditional in the bedroom? The answer is, you wouldn't as everyone does something a little or a lot different in private. There is a public face to sex, and then there is the private one; and the private one is where two consenting adults have unique and imaginative ways to be intimate with one another.

Would you be OK if you couldn't directly make him orgasm?

The only thing I would caution you about is be prepared to be understanding of your boyfriend if at some point he can only orgasm through masturbation. If you are orgasming with your vibrator, chances are he's masturbating watching you at some point; or you drive him so crazy he starts masturbating more privately. Whatever the case, like you he may become desensitized and have difficulty orgasming through intercourse or oral sex.

This isn't a bad thing, I just want you to be prepared for a similar situation about your boyfriend (without vibrator).

------------------

If your still feeling a little guilty, perhaps give your boyfriend control of your vibrator; that way HE'S the one giving you the orgasm!

------------------

Finally, if you want to orgasm with your man only, simply lay off the vibrator for a while and give him a challenge to make you orgasm; who knows it might be fun :D

Hmmm, my girlfriend and I went through a similar experience although I could give her an orgasm via oral sex.

Unfortunately over time my girlfriend stopped seeing me as the one turning her on and this caused a major problem in our relationship.

I would use the vibrator sparingly if I was you.

Extra stimulation from time to time is good. But using your vibrator every time is desensitizing you. Try not using it for a little while. You will gain your senstivity back.

I am having this same mproblem with my boyfriend. I had been using vibrators for 2 years before him to orgasm. I've never been able to achieve an orgasm with a man because if this. So far I haven't used a vibrator for 5 months and our sex is getting better and better. I'm getting super close to orgasming.

And I'd also like to say I think using a vibrator during sex every time can take away some of the intimacy during sex and might make your man feel un satisfying to you.

It's fine as long as both of you are fine with it. ( :

The majority of women are unable to achieve an orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone. You are not in any way abnormal, other than perhaps using a vibrator (which isn't abnormal just a bit less common).

I agree with most of what everyone said on here.
No you shouldn't completely stop using the vibrator because you feel guilty
But yes you should give your man the chance to do it for you.

One reason many woman have difficulty orgasming during sex is because of stress, lack of self confidence and a minimal attention span.
1. you need to let go and not worry about the crazy day you had at work, you are at home having sex! Who cares about work that day.
2. don't worry if you think you have gained a few pounds or you broke out a little, he is already having sex with you and not mention dating you so he obvious still thinks you are hot. Lol
And
3. its common and a well known fact that most people don't pay attention to the same thing for more than a few minutes... so when you start to get bored or wonder if he is almost done. Just switch it up either by position change, where your eyes are on him or by having a cd playing in the backround with different types and speeds of music.

The point is to loose control and just feel his body in sync with yours.

Hope it goes well

Rubbing your clitoris with your hand while he is penetrating you can work just the same :)

When we are young, it is often difficult to see pitfalls that may lie ahead from decisions that we make early on in life.

It is my *opinion* that using a vibrator while having intercourse is a sexual dead end... and could end in addiction to the vibrator.

There are many levels to sexual expression... sex is very complicated... perhaps as you mature, you will want to expect more from you sex life in the way of emotional satisfaction, variety and spontaniety, and so forth. But, maybe you won't.

Best wishes to you, :)