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-   -   Unable to forget (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=305613)

  • Jan 19, 2009, 02:23 AM
    sober75
    Unable to forget
    Hello

    I am stuck in such a compilicated situation and I need a honest answer for it.
    10 years ago I had a lesbian relationship with my sister in law. It happened when I was in bosnia and sis- in law was staying with us as my brother was struggling in germany. After 4 years my brothers struggle was over and he called my sis -in law back to germany. Over 4 years I too left to germany for higher education. I wanted that relationship back as it was so hard to forget about her and she used to be constantly be on my mind. Since we inherit bosnian culture where, lesbian was a big shame. She had 2 sons which grew up almost 10 years of age. I too got married and had a daughter 2 years. My problem is that I am unable to forget her and in spite of being married I keep having sexual feelings about her. (if I was lesbian then other girls would have attracted me too, but it never happens).My sis in law never wants this relationship as she is happy in her marriage and kids and doesn't want it to be affected in anyway. I am trying since last 8 years to forget her, but I cant. What's the best advice for me
  • Jan 19, 2009, 10:30 AM
    411Help

    I'm assuming you two still remain in contact.

    Eight years is a very long time to continue to be holding onto false hope. You need to realize she's already married and she DOESN'T feel the same way. Cut all ties with this woman and start building a life for yourself that you can be happy with.
  • Jan 19, 2009, 03:29 PM
    talaniman

    Accept that her feelings for you have changed, and what you had, is in the past, and over with. Cherish the memories, and live your life now.
  • Jan 19, 2009, 03:46 PM
    mum2five

    It is time to let go , this is not healthy.
    Remember the memories but that is all they are. The past is better left where it is.
    How would your brother feel ?
    Move on and let her move on.
    I wish you all the very best.

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