I´ve been married for 15 years, my husband met a woman a year ago, he is very close to her, visit her, spend many hours on the phone talking to her, and hangs around with her a lot. He says she is just a friend, he says he is not sexually interested in her. They share a lot of interest in common. He does not want to stop seeing her. I told hem I want to meet her but she doesn´t want to meet me. I feel somethig strong goes between them. I don´t know what to do.

Sounds extremely fishy. Sounds as if he is cheating. I'm not married and not in your situation so I don't know what advice to give you.. but I would definitely watch and look into the matter more closely if I were you

Hi, cachonda!

For a married person to have a close friend of the opposite sex isn't something that's unusual. Most of my close friends are married women. I have been divorced for a long time.

Although I'm closer to the wives in most instances, I always make sure that I get to know the husbands and when having a party or gathering of some kind for a lot of people at my place, I make sure to invite them as a couple.

I would suspect something if she doesn't want to meet you.

What I would suggest doing is making it clear to your husband that you need to meet her so that you can also get to know her some. If a meeting isn't going to happen, then I would make it clear to your husband, that for the sake of your marriage, then he needs to curtail the relationship with her because of your uneasiness with his relationship with her. You do need to be coming first in his eyes.

Thanks!

I'm going to have to disagree... my girlfriends parents had been together about 11 years... they moved as a family.. the husband began cheating which we later learned was the reason for the move.. wife never knew.. but knew he had a friend that lived near by that he visited.. oh and the lady he was seeing was also married. They were both cheating on their spouses... I'd look into it. Might not be anything, but you have to take care of yourself too

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Originally Posted by aaj2008

I'm going to have to disagree...my girlfriends parents had been together about 11 years...they moved as a family..the husband began cheating which we later learned was the reason for the move..wife never knew..but knew he had a friend that lived near by that he visited..oh and the lady he was seeing was also married. They were both cheating on their spouses...I'd look into it. might not be anything, but you have to take care of yourself too

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Hi, aaj2008!

Disagree about what? I stated in my post that I would suspect something and gave advice as to what to possibly do.

Thanks!

"For a married person to have a close friend of the opposite sex isn't something that's unusual" It is in this case

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Originally Posted by aaj2008

"For a married person to have a close friend of the opposite sex isn't something that's unusual" It is in this case

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It might not be, according to her experience. So, we don't know. She hasn't yet given us any feedback or information about that.

Sometimes, people can have close friends of the opposite sex, simply because of the nature of their work. In my lines of work, most of the people that I work with have been women. So, it wouldn't be unusual that I would have developed close relationships with some of them.

Thanks!

Hi Cachonda,

Oh dear, I can really understand why you are concerned. It is not normal that this woman does not want to meet you. Why on earth would she not? I think your husband is going to argue with you about this and cause you a lot of heart ache. Please talk to his friends and find out what is going on. Also you could phone here directly and invite her to the house. That would certainly put the wind up her and let you see whether there is nothing to worry about or not.

I agree with the last post, call the girl yourself, you can use the pretext of planning a surprise party for your husband on the next occasion that would work for.

It's very strange that she won't come meet you, If it really comes down to it you need to tell your husband if he won't introduce her then this proves it is not a friend and something more is going on. If she really is a friend you should at least meet her and do something as a group every now and then and if you have nothing in common with her, well at least you know who she is.

I agree with everyone that it sounds fishy. Even if your husband is trustworthy, you have no way of knowing what her intentions are. The fact that she doesn't want to meet you is a big red flag.

Do you know if she is married or involved?

If I were you, I would insist on meeting her.