After reading some old posts from other users, hoping I could get some answers. I decided to just sign up and ask and put out my somewhat weird position.

P.S I'm sorry in advance as my typing is crude, and usually porrly formed sentences.

I'm 18, turning 19 next month. I'm most likely bi, or bi-curious. Now I'v done things with other guys in the past and thought nothing about it until I reached around 13. Since then I kept my feelings about guys inside and just dated girls with some exceptions of doing something with a random guy. Now I haven even gone al the way with a guy as I'm scared to do such things yet, but I'v gone all the way with girls. I have always enjoyed "experimenting" with guys. To me it always seems so much more passionate and caring.

But as of last year near graduating from high school I told a select amount of friends that I think or am bi. My friends being always supportive about each other accepted that and actually thought it was awesome.

Thing is that most of my friends still don't know about it. And now I'm beginning to fall for a very good close friend. Whom I believe is straight. Its hard to be sure about it as a lot of my guy friends are very comfortable about there sexuality and we all do "gay" things with each other as jokes and what not.

Lately I'v noticed that he has started to want to hang out with me. I mean we usually hang out as a group every weekend for the last... 4 years. We are very good friends but don't really hang out with each other, other than our nice little hang out sessions with others since we live on different sides of the city. A lot of the time when were in the same room we would play footsies under a table, or he would joking feel me up, and joke about stuff like that. That stopped after he started dating his girlfriend, I mean every now and then he would do his little flirts. But now he started it up all over again, and more then usual I guess. He hasn't said much about the status of his girlfriend, and I usually never ask people about there relationships as I think its weird and rude or something. ( Its all probabl in my head). He seems to want to hook up and go out and do something.

Again a lot of my friends don't know I'm bi. The reason I am only half out is because if I told my friends that I was I know they would accept it... But I feel a big drift would create and Things would never be the same again. I mean I could just be to scared about coming out completely. Im planning on telling my mom about it. As my family wouldn't mind too much, in fact they would love to encourage it most likely.

But Lately I have been thinking about how I feel about him. Hes a nice guy, and very cute. He makes me laugh when needed and defends me when I seem to fall in an argument.

I would just like to hear other peoples thoughts on this. Thankies ^^

I have a lot of guy friends, we hang out, go hunting and go fishing, hang out working on cars together. But they are not wanting to date me.

And I just love Janet Jackson, think she is lovely, love to listen to her music, but then she is never going to date me either.

I think you are making this seem or sound like what you want.
If you are really "bi" or "gay" and you want to live openly, you have to be honest with your friends,

So you either be honest as to who you are, or live in secret, that is really your only choice

It is a plague of our times that men are taught to be weak and uncertain about so much in our society... instead of taught what makes a man feel good about himself. That's why there is so much confusion and immaturity nowadays in first world countries. Men are in trouble. Now, you have to find a way to grow into an adult... that is where peace and happiness and competence lie.

Whatever you become sexually when you grow up I think that is unknown at this time. YOu play lots of games. :) Therapy would be of great help to you so you can get down to your real feelings. :)

I know you are avoiding asking about his girfriend because you are afraid of the answer. You are afraid that he will turn out to be totally straight and in love with his girlfriend and this would ruin this fantasy you have running in your head.

You need to get honest with the people around you and ask honest questions. Find out if he has a girlfriend and if he does have a girlfriend then don't entertain any notion of being with him until the relationship over.

It doesn't matter whether you are straight, bi, or gay; being an jerk by flirting or coming onto someone you know is in a relationship is wrong.

So you need to find out his relationship status before you decide to do anything further. If he no longer has a girlfriend (or boyfriend) then you are free to take whatever risk you wish.

Also are you really ready for him to say yes; are you ready for him to say no?

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Also your young relationships with guys before you were 13 are screwing you up. This is why parents protect their children from sexual experiences when they are young. I don't think you are gay, or even bi for that matter, I think you were exposed to inappropriate male relationships at too young an age and this has affected you moving forward. It feels like a safe place for you to gravitate to because it is familiar and reminds you of an earlier time in your life when innocence, firsts and experimentation were exciting. Yet I think your natural orientation is hetrosexual (you mention gravitating to girls around puberty 13) but now I think your young experiences with boys are throwing things out of whack for you.

Now I could be completely wrong, but the point is you wouldn't be in this conflicted state if you didn't have these extremely young homosexual experiences; the same would hold true for someone who had extremely young heterosexual experiences. Whether these experiences where voluntary on not; as we move to adulthood having those experiences can be considered the same as experiencing childhood trauma, because those experiences where out of the norm powerful for a child.

As Choux said in the previous post, I think therapy would be of great benefit to you before you move forward into serious relationships in your life.

I don't mean to sound snapy or anything just want to clarify things in my defense first.

First off, I am being honest to my friends. I'm planning on coming out very soon. I'm not trying to hid it from friends. I'm just not ready to tell them what's going on inside me. Also this is something that I do want but I'm not making it seem like what I want. Its just confusing when one of your friends is showing signs of being affectionate towards you.

Second I'm not scared to ask if he has a girlfriend still or not. Its just seems awkward to me asking about something that isn't too much my business. If he says yes that he still is with her. Sure ill be a little down, but at least I have a friend still.^^

Third, I don't understand how I am being a jerk? He is the one that starts the flirting... If you would even call it that between us friends. Again my group of guy friends love to joke around by flirting and pretending to be gay. Thing is that he does it a lot more affectionate... at least in my eyes. I feel something more when he talks and touches me.

All of you so far could be very much right. It could just be me wanting something and diluting my head about these false signs.

1. You have not told them, so you are still hiding it, your "plan" to tell them is not telling them

2. best friends talk about everything, if you are not talking about everything with him, you may not really be as good friends as you have gotten to believe. I can ask and be asked anything by my friends

3. Acting Gay ? Is that making fun of them as something silly

You sound decisive; I'm glad to hear you're coming out... just a caution, don't tell folks all the details of your sexuality! It is not their business, and it could come flying back at you someday.

You are gay; no apologies needed, no explanations needed. You love men and sex with men. Keep it simple.

Best wishes to you in the future, :)