Hello everyone, I`m 20 years old. My ex broke up with me about 2 months ago, I was just looking on this site and decided to try no contact. A little bit of backround information, we dated for just over a year and everything was going well, I thought. About a week before we broke up we went to indy to see my older sister, our first trip together. Everything was great. A week later she told me she just wasn`t seeing it being there anymore. I did everything I could to make it come back, but made the mistake in hanging out with some other girls ONCE. She was a nice girl, but could be a biaaatch a lot. She was always texting other guys and her and her friend always hung out with other guys, which she said were just friends.

She broke up with me and she thought I didn't care about us anymore. It was not the case at all I care/ cared about her more then anything. Anyway, we started talking again about 4 days ago, after about a week of real strict no contact. Now were talking a lot but I want to go back to no contact. We text each other a lot and talk on the phone every once in a while. I still want her back and would probably take her back, but I know I'm not over her yet and talking to her is great but I don't want to be friends with her. Do I tell her straight up I don't want to talk to you anymore? Or the next time she contacts me just ignore her? I do want her to kind of chase me but I'm afraid if I tell her I don't want to talk anymore she won't talk to me ever again.

In order to go NC you have to stop communicating with her even if she's the one doing the contacting. Stop texting, calling, emails, etc Stay in contact with someone only complicates things abd can let to false hope. Time to let go!

Sometimes people get weak and starts back communicating with their ex but you learn from your mistake and move past it.

The beauty of no contact is that it works both ways, but you have to do your part.

If she really wanted to be with you she would come back.
If not then she probably wasn't that committed anyway.
You deserve better than that...

I know how you feel it's been 3 days for me since I've lost what seems to be the love of my life. We were the same way, never fought or argued everything was pure bliss.. But learn from other people's mistakes be wise and continue with the no contact!

I will go back to no contact, but how do I go about it? The next time she texts me do I just ignore it or tell her I can't talk to her because its not healthy for me to be talking to her?

For closure you can tell her that at this point you can't continue to talk to her because you still have feelings for her and you want to move on and try to get over her and you can't even commit to being friends with her right now. Don't even listen to what she has to say. Say your peace and hang up. Chapter closed!

If she doesn't respect your wishes than it might be time to change your number. Or if you see a text from her simply don't open it.

The first time I admit I broke NC. I made it explicitly clear the reason for NC was for my heart to heal and get over you. I also told her I don't have any ill feelings and it's not because I'm being immature about the break up. I just need some space and I can't get over you if you keep talking to me. She will understand, as painful as it is you need to do this for yourself. You can choose to inform her your intentions of NC, but if you do that then you'll have to start back at day one. I guarantee you she'll say something that will give you false hope, do you really want to do that? You healing process has begun I just wouldn't even bother, she broke up with you.

Unless she wants to get back together I wouldn't even bother... And even if she did want to get back isn't there always going to be a doubt of seed in your mind one day out of the blue she could do the same thing?

In my case she DID call me back and say she regret it and missed me too much. A week later she did it again! I doubt I'll take her back a third time... Just let go of false hope and let the healing begin. Trust me if she wanted you back she'll come to you. Use this time for both of you to mature and grow. In the mean time she broke up with you! Why do you need to explain yourself! Keep up the NC and we're in this together bro...

Honestly, I would tell her exactly what Liz said. This girl looks like she has a lot of growing up to do still.

Move on, If you aren`t ready to date and look around yet, don`t. Leave this girl behind she's no good for you, why hold on to false hope?

Make yourself believe it won't happen again. If she contacts you again, delete the text without reading it.

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Originally Posted by bareton78

I will go back to no contact, but how do i go about it? The next time she texts me do i just ignore it or tell her i can't talk to her because its not healthy for me to be talking to her?

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Just ignore it - every time you answer she knows that she can still keep you on a string -

Move on with your life and start living again, when you make no contact you can not break it because all you do is open the wounds up again, you need time to let yourself heal.

Change your phone number, block her emails, delete her Facebook/MS or whatever... don't give her a way to contact you, and you need not explain to her why you don't want her to contact you, or why you ignore her when she does... this is not for her, it is for YOU. She doesn't matter, period!

Erase yourself from her life, including the multiple lines of communication she has to you.

Bottom line, you don't owe her an explanation for anything. That obligation went out the window when she dumped you.

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I do want her to kind of chase me but I'm afraid if I tell her I don't want to talk anymore she won't talk to me ever again.

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How about making up your mind what you want, then stand up for yourself.

No Contact is to heal, not get someone to feed your ego by chasing you.

Just do it,

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talking to her is great but I don't want to be friends with her

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Your already in friend zone.