My boyfriend was in a relationship that he wasn't happy in before me for about 3 years, they stayed together because they had a child together, she had 2 other children besides his daughter. They all lived with him at his house. He finally realized that this wasn't making him truly happy, they wanted different things for their future, so they split. About 7 months later I met him, we talked for about a month before we started dating and we have been dating for about a month and a half now. We fell head over heals in love for each other a lot faster than either of us intended, but it felt so right that neither of us were concerned about how fast it was moving. He asked me to move in with him (which I haven't done yet, but want to), we discussed marriage and having more children and exactly what we want for our future. We have most of the same views on life and interests. I haven't ever felt so much for someone in my life, he absolutely completes me. His daughter is 4 and I have a son that is 2 and we all do things together all of the time. My son and I spent the night at his house almost every night, so we basically did live there, we just didn't have all of our things there. He set up a bedroom specifically for my son, put a toddler bed in the room, bought toys for him to have there and even called it his room. He would ask me my opinion on things that he was doing with the house, what color he should paint rooms, had me help pick out new furniture, all kinds of things that lead me to believe we were headed down a great road together. He told me everything that I would ever want to hear and more, how perfect I was for him, how he couldn't believe he found the woman of his dreams, he wouldn't ever want to lose me and if I was going to leave him I had to do it right then or else I was going to break his heart. Then his daughter started loving me around too and then he really said I couldn't ever leave, which I haven't ever wanted to anyway, so it was basically just a joke we said to one another.

My son and I spent the weekend with him and his daughter, went and did a lot of fun things, ice fishing, sledding etc, had a great time, he told me he loved me when we left Monday morning, everything was perfect. We weren't planning on getting together that day, but we sent a few text messages that afternoon and everything was fine, then I couldn't get a hold of him until Wednesday, which seemed very strange. When I talked to him that day he told me that he had a lot on his mind (he tends to think A LOT!) and we really needed to talk to me in person. We got together and had our "talk" and he told me that he needs to have some space for awhile because he really realized over the weekend, doing things that he used to do with his ex's kids, that he isn't over having her kids around and it isn't fair to me or my son to be around right now because this is something that he needs to move on from before he can give both of us the attention and dedication that we deserve to have from him. He told me that he is completely over his ex because he was so unhappy with her so he was able to start moving on before she moved out, but he still loved having the kids around, so he wasn't getting over them when he started getting over her. He was the only male figure that these kids had for 3 years, so he was basically their dad, so I can see how it is going to be hard for him to get over the fact of having 3 children to just having one. He still had some of their toys around his house and his ex's couch and he said that seeing this every day was a constant reminder of them and he had to get rid of that stuff and then fully move on from having the kids around before he could give us what we really need. He told me that he still loves me, I make him extremely happy, wants to be with me and I am still perfect for him, but it isn't fair to me to not get exactly what I need from him right now so this is the only option. I argued my point that I could help him get over this and that's what people do in relationships is help each other through the difficult times, but he didn't agree, he said he needs to do this on his own because if he relies on me to help him then if I ever decide to leave him he would have to get over the 2 original kids, plus me and my son and he definitely couldn't handle that. I told him that I wasn't ever going to go anywhere and this was something I wanted to do by his side, but he wasn't budging from his opinion. I truly believe the things that he told me. I asked him if I should wait for him and he said it wouldn't be fair to me for him to ask me to wait, but if I do decide to date anyone else if I would tell him. When I left that night he gave me a hug and a kiss and told me he loves me and I said that I couldn't believe that might be my last hug and kiss from him and he said, "oh don't talk like that, you know it won't be." One other thing is that I had gotten him a key that was a clock with a saying on it that he holds the key to my heart until the end of time and it was signed by me and he didn't want me to take this home, he wanted to keep it. So what in the world is he wanting or needing? Is he just really needing a little space for awhile because we were together so frequently and things went so fast or is he really wanting to break up and doesn't know what to say or is he really just needing time to get over the kids or what? And if you think he's needing space, how long do I give him considering we have only been together a month and a half?

It seems that he is being very honest, and considerate. He is simply not ready to commit to a long-term serious relationship for all the reasons he stated.

I also think you may be right when you say it was, after all, too much too fast, and caught you both off guard.

You may find that with the hints he has dropped (that there is still a chance in the future), that he may contact you sooner rather than later.

My best advice to you is to give him all the space and time he needs. He's still not completely over the last relationship, espcially having become so attached to the children.

He's likely thrown a little cold water on himself, and realized that he may very well love you, but is simply not ready. If this is going to work, it will be under his initiative, and if you push it, you'll drive him away.

On the other hand, I hope that you don't stop living your life either. And should opportunity knock, consider other options.