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Hey,
This is my first time here
Just wondering if anyone else has the problem of husband paying more attetion to the dam
Computer game then you (meaning wife) I have. I get attention maybe once a month. Getting old I need way more than that... just wondering if anyone else is going through what I am and if you are let me know how you deal with it.. I love him but need more attention :(
Quote:
Originally Posted by lnlywife
I'm young, but my husband does the same thing. I let it go on for a couple years then I told him how him and his games were making me feel and he's really let up a lot. So I think the best thing you can do is talk to him and tell him how you feel. He loves you, but he enjoys his computer games so he just may not realize what he's doing. Talk to him.
Let him play, while your doing your own thing, and enjoying friends, hobbies, and fun activities. If you look at it as a bad thing it breeds resentments, but by leaving him alone, and getting on with life, not only will you be happier, but he will eventually miss you. Then you can make the big goof squirm a little, and he will be ready to talk. Yeah the wife got me with that years ago, and it was a big wake up. No kids?? Do you work??
I have the same problem, Im always asking him to get off and spend time with his family but nothing ****ing works, I get very mad!! :<
Well the easy drastic solution "sudden power outage" while he went to the store.
It's simple. Go out to the breaker box. Turn off circuits. :D No power= No games
I'm teasing with that one.
If it's extremely bad... Being he has no life, no job, nothing... (and he plays the games like a full time job) Then it's time to give him a wake up call. Tell him you don't mind him playing the games but you do mind the amount of time and you want to spend time with him. That and you want you two to have a good healthy life.
If it's pretty tame. Being he has a job, life... and it's something he's doing in his free time, let it be. It's a hobby.
My husband plays video games too. What I did was join him in them. If I ask him for time he'll give it to me (vice versa).
But if you can't beat them... join them.
Starbucks 21, is right as more info could help bring your picture into better focus,
Ages
Children
Employment
How long in the relationship
Brief history
Omg I am going through the same thing and I still haven't figured it out but I am also pregnant and he still doesn't pay me no mind I try kissing on him dressing up sexy and everything its like I don't exist anymore
I may be short a few crayons in the box here, but why a 'victim'.
Have you tried negotiating with him when you both have free time together? Or is it that your sexual needs only are not being met. What does it mean that you aren't getting enough attention. What have you tried as far as communicating with him, and is this affecting your relationship in other ways? Is he hitting the bars after work, coming in at all hours, getting strange phone calls, lipstick on the collar?
If his worst transgression is playing video games and ignoring you, there is plenty you can do. Starting with a plan. Email him if you have to, but tell him at such and such a time, on such and such a date, you want to discuss the following. Then list them. Give him a few days to read the email (or letter) and make it clear you won't discuss the issues until the agreed upon date. Encourage him to make his list too.
Then start talking. Be respectful and non-argumentative. Agree to meet again if you don't get through the list.
Engage a third party, counselling. Same plan, start with the suggestion, agree to a date, and commit to attending to learn how to better communicate and have each of your needs met.
Set aside time in your day with no TV, radio, stereo. Unplug the phone. This could be dinner time. Eat together at the kitchen table, start talking, share you day, your thoughts.
Make a date with him. Go bowling, walk around the mall, visit friends for coffee at the local coffee shop. Go skating, swimming, have a picnic, see a local play, volunteer at the food bank, paint the livingroom.
Invite friends in Friday nights to play board games, watch the game on TV, have coffee.
Develop your own social outlets as talaniman said. I have done that myself. My husband is a social armpit, and replace the video games with the history channel, and trust me, I've been where you are now.
I skate, volunteer, work, swim, bike, with my girlfriends. I invest in books, and do research on mental disorders. You will be surprised how much brighter your days are when you aren't relying on someone else to meet your needs.
Not to say that you don't have a great relationship, but you are different individuals with different needs. He may never change, so you have to accept that you may very well have to accept him as he is.
I've been married 33 years, and if I'd waited for blockhead to catch up to me, I'd still be wasting time and not enjoying my life! I say blockhead with love here, he's a great guy.
Give yourself permission to invest time in yourself, as well as your relationship. No woman's needs should all revolve around a man.
I know exactly how you feel I have the same problem and often I have thought about leaving him for good. He is married to his game and ignores me and our 2 yr old son. And for Jake2008 I don't think that you understand that... even if I did invite people over he still has his dumb raids that he goes on... if he does not have power at home he will acually go to work and play his game. I do have a life I spent most of my days with family and friends and have even gone on several out of state vacations with just my son and I without him because he cannot leave his game behind.
I had that problem. We got a puppy who chewed up the game machine. Of course, he got a new one... I broke his favorite game. Now that was going overboard! The disc cracking in my hands, oh, such childish glee.
Sure, having a full life of your own is the way to go. Sending him a message via email is a great idea. He needs to know what you expect from him, attention-wise. He needs to tell you what he needs.
My hubby gave up marijuana and beer and the games became boring. He pretty much quit.
I have the same problem , but a bit more serious. I have no where to go for outings and feel totally ignored . I have a 1 and half year old daughter. I tried talking to him but nothing works, he just doesn't understand. I feel depressed and need help. Feel like trapped in the home, we live in a small place where there are limited places to go. I just can't express how this is killing me. My husband is married to his game and doesn't even pay attention to his daughter.
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