Yesterday I found out the guy I have been in love with, unconditionally, no matter how bad he treated me, for a year... this whole time has been in love with someone else.

And cheated on me.

And lied to me over and over.

I feel so humilliated.

I can't stop crying and the pain I am feeling is the worst I've ever felt.

I need help.

I told him I can't have him in my life ever again.

I tried so hard to explain to him why I was doing this.

And he acted like he didn't care.

He said he's done nothing wrong. But he's been in love with someone else!! I can't get over it. It hurts so much

I am broken.

I don't know what to do with myself.

Someone please, has anyone been in this situation before?

I really really need support.

I don't want to go on anymore :(

Your not broken sweetheart,your just really badly bruised.

I have been where you are and the pain feels like its never going to end. I wish I make it disappear.

You have to hurt ,you have to cry and grieve and then you have to pick yourself up and have a new life.

Someday you will look back and say oh wow why did I let that hurt me so much?

We are strong us women and we survive and we go on to be better and stronger and every jerk who F's us over will regret it someday.

Be strong sister....rock it be all you can be

You are going to hurt and be sad, and it will be a tough time. You need to grieve. But you are right you done need someone like that in your life.

Be strong its going to be tough,

Your life is still worth living

tearingapart... no honey he's not over you,he just has a different way of coping, that is just what
Guys do.

Women sit home and men go out and drink and hook up. And yes there is always some somin there to take the pain away.But it doesn't really.

I have two grown sons 28 and 22 and we talk all the time so I get what he is doing. They tell me men do that to feel like a man again.

His poor ego is so shattered that he needs to hook up but inside he's not over anything. He is just a typical man trying to make himself feel good and boost his ego

I bet if he has any decency in him he is hurting too.

Sounds lame but I bet that feels kind of good to know that.
My bad again.

Hey Tearingapart,

I Can only imagine how difficult it is for you right now- it is v hard , I know. The best thingto do right now- is to get some rest and eat well. Then you can think straight and deal with your situation in a better way. Please keep talking on this post as there are many many people who will help you get through this.

It is v horrible when one finds out when a person you love cheats and lies through and thru- please read my post! I am going through a similar thing and I hope it will give you strength to be brave when you have to be brave and to cry when you have to cry.
Take care of yourself and remember you are worth a lot more than you think.

In life your going have many relationships. Some will last and some won't. But if it doesn't last you don't let it break you. You pick your up and try again. There is a rainbow after every storm. This guy wasn't a match for you, in fact he was a game player, don't worry you can do better and will find better because your better than this.

You know what helped me during a break-up was Athrea Franklin "I will survive" song. Play it and listen to the words. It gave me a lot of strength and helped me through my pain. Also, remember what don't kill you will only make you stronger so pull yourself together. You might not see it now but when you heal your going reflect on your relationship with him and see how better out you was without him.

For all the pain your going through now, when it does get better, after you have healed, you'll be smarter and won't give your unconditional love to a guy that cheats. This is just a hard lesson of life we have to go through, we all do, so your not alone.

Oh sweety! I feel so bad for you but he wasn't the one. Don't blame ursel... it wasn't you it was him. In my opinion you desirve more then him. You seem to be a nice and caring person and for him to treat you like crap... that isn't right... so give it time you will heal :] don't stay thinking about him... go out with friends , talk to someone and have fun. Sooner then later you will forget him and find someone so nice that he will love you too ! Have faith :)

Happiness is a door that constantly opens and closes. The problem is that when the happiness door closes we look at it too long, and don't see the other happiness doors that are opening right in front of our eyes. I understand that you are very hurt and in a lot of pain, but look away from the closed door and look at all of the other doors that are opening up. Look at everything that you have to be grateful for, and you'll find your happiness.

I assume by the wording that this guy has not been exactly great to you in the year you have been together.
Firstly now you know how he no longer wishes to be with you as has told you he is in love with someone else. Maybe he is in love with someone else if true then he is a toad for leading you along , knowing he never truly loved you. Maybe there is nobody else and he is usuing this as an excuse to break up.Either way hun you deserve so much better.
I have been in your situation where I was treadted very badly and cheated on very often.
Yes it hurts , it is going to hurt for weeks to come but at the end of it you will come out a much stronger person for it.
Do not sit at home and waste your tears , get together with friends and start doing those things you have always wanted to do. Make yourself get up and plan each day so you are busy even just doing the houswork! Anything to keep your mind from going back to him.
Easier said than done but resist the temptation to phone/text him.
The sweetest revenge is to show him you are much happier without him! Keep Smiling !

Instead of crying and feeling bad... pray to God that you no longer have that guy in your life anymore. Sometimes the most hurtful things in life are the best things that have ever happened to us.

I know it is hard to realize now, as you are in pain, but be thankful the guy who did this to you isn't your problem anymore!!

You will be all right. This guy isn't even worth your tears, let alone your life.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by artlady

tearingapart...no honey hes not over you,he just has a different way of coping, that is just what
guys do.

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No... I will disagree (respectfully of course). This is not a question of gender, it is a matter of extremely poor character. Calling him a MAN would be insulting to me, and other good men out there. He is not a MAN, he is a cheater and a heartless coward. You can't fix stupid, male or female.

Well if you want the truth I had been their.. but I really cried my eyes out.. I got to a point where I couldn't stop crying not even for 5 min.s for 3 whole days.. then I went to doctor (shrink).. but then I ignored every one in this world.. my boyfriend.. the doctor's talk.. the people who loves me and what they said.. and asked myself! What do I like about my boyfriend? And I wrote a big list.. and asked myself.. what I don't like about him! And I wrote few things.. stupid things that never were an issue until the breakup. So then I analyized the things I didn't like about him.. then it turned out to be.. it's all my fault! There is nothing I dislike about him.. he never humiliated me.. it's all in my head.. nothing happened! But when you push on the injury you have of course a lot of blood going to come out and hurt too! So that what happened.. that happened to me before 1 and half year and until now I love my boyfriend.. of course he is not prince charming.. but he is when I look at him in the eyes! So that's enough for me! So if you are wondering how did I get over the crying and how did we got back together.. all I did was forget about it.. kept moving with my normal life.. if we talk on the phone at 5 pm I told him to keep calling me at that time.. even if all I want is to kill him for not being so in to me or in to my feelings or all the tears I cried and stuff.. and until this moment he doesn't care! Because it wasn't his fault he is not so perfect! It's my fault that I asked him to be perfect and not liking him for who really am! My advice for you is to keep seeing him and act like nothing happened this way.. by days only you can see if he really is worth spending your time and emotions on him.. or not! And other thing.. if you keep talking to him like nothing is wrong.. and just tell him you had a break down bcoz of your life style of what ever.. just so you can keep talking to him.. this way if he has really been lying to you for a whole year then you will get him back! So easy and that will satisfy u! But if you leave him and cry and be so soft he will just say to his head "she is crazy"! But no don't give him the chance to say that about u.. As they say keep your friend close but keep your enemies closer! So if he really is a jerk and not worth your time and love then keep him close just for few months just so you can test him.. but with out showing him you care enough about him to have a fight or show some jealousy or any thing.. but for your sake keep him in your life.. and only by time you can see are you the one who had been bad in this relation and wanted prince perfect! And missed judged him "coz that what happened with me" or you can see he is really bad and this way you will have the right revenge at the right time.. but don't ever put his life over your life! Remember you loved him.. and obviously you are a great caring person but you need to start managing your life! And no doctor or family or friends will do that! So stop with the dead talk and start thinking about your next move and what it will be!