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-   -   Relation ship break up (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=304385)

  • Jan 16, 2009, 10:34 AM
    anney
    Relation ship break up
    I am in love with a married man ,we want to get married to each other but his wife refuses to divorce and threaten to suicide if he leaves her.he has no other option as he is the only member earning and he has 10yr old kid,he is forced to stay in the relationship,he asked me to give some time so that he can earn and settle his family future.now he doesn't want me to talk about marriage because it creates tension between u.wht can I do about this help
  • Jan 16, 2009, 10:53 AM
    stevetcg

    His wife cannot refuse to divorce him. Her threatening suicide is just a means to control him.

    So what if he is the only one making money. She can get a job. Sure, he will end up paying child support and possibly spousal support, but if he is unhappy in the marriage then that's what he has to do.

    Now to go the other route: why are you getting involved with a married man? He is cheating on his wife to be with you. You can bet he will cheat on you too. Good luck with that.
  • Jan 16, 2009, 01:37 PM
    this8384
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by anney View Post
    we want to get married to each other but his wife refuses to divorce and threaten to sucide if he leaves her. he has no other option as he is the only member earning and he has 10yr old kid,he is forced to stay in the relationship,he asked me to give some time so that he can earn and settle his family future.now he dosent want me to talk about marriage because it creates tension between u.wht can i do about this help

    Wrong, wrong and wrong. If he truly didn't want to be with her, all he would have to do is file for divorce.

    He does have an option. The option you're letting him choose is to have it both ways. Even if he's the only one working now, a lot of states will ask the mother to find a job if she seeks any type of support for him.

    He doesn't want to talk to you about marriage because the honest truth is that he doesn't want to marry you.
  • Jan 16, 2009, 02:06 PM
    artlady

    This isn't the 50's where you can't get a divorce because someone says no. So that lame excuse just doesn't wash.

    This is such a classic *other woman* scenario.
    He is a cheater and he is playing you.
    He wants to keep his marriage and have a little on the side.

    I hate to be so harsh but that is the price people pay for cheating.Someone always gets hurt and in this instance it is you.

    The risk of suicide,(if even if that is true)is simply another excuse he is using to string you along.

    The clincher for me and what should be for you as well is his instruction that you are not to hassle him about this as it stresses your relationship.

    In his little fantasy where he has it all and you women get nada he does not want any stress!

    What a selfish using jerk!

    Do yourself a favor and break this off.I know it is easier said than done but you will never get what you want from from this cheating man and you may only be one in a series of women that will end up hurt by this immature lying man.
  • Jan 16, 2009, 02:14 PM
    HistorianChick

    There is a 10 year old child involved here.

    You need to stay away from this man. He is cheating on his wife and his child.

    There is no answer to "What can I do?" except leave the man alone.
  • Jan 16, 2009, 03:29 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by anney View Post
    I am in love with a married man ,we want to get married to each other but his wife refuses to divorce and threaten to sucide if he leaves her.he has no other option as he is the only member earning and he has 10yr old kid,he is forced to stay in the relationship,he asked me to give some time so that he can earn and settle his family future.now he dosent want me to talk about marriage because it creates tension between u.wht can i do about this help



    Has anyone ever noticed that the failure to divorce is ALWAYS the fault of the wife, as explained by the cheating husband. I wonder how long it takes to "earn and settle his family future." That is, however, a better excuse than the usual excuses. The "she has threatened suicide" line I've heard before.

    He, the married man, doesn't want to talk about marriage to the girlfriend because it creates tension. Hmm. Go figure.

    Meanwhile the 10 year old "kid" has half a father and probably even less than half of his father's time.

    So, anyway, the legal advice is that he should file for a divorce and let the Courts "earn and settle his family future" - if he wants a divorce, that is.

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