20 year old son who is currently on probation for 2 years is no longer following rules of the house (using drugs and underage drinking). He has been given ultimatum to follow rules or leave house. He refuses to leave. How do we make him. If we have to call the police, does this have the possibility of sending him to jail. We live in Virginia.

If he is using drugs he is in violation of his probation.

You give him 3 days written notice and then you go to court and have him evicted.

Check the timeframe for the written notice - your local court will be able to tell you. Its typically 3-10 days.

Well calling the police will not do anything, unless you show them his drugs and they arrest him.

So your choice is to do a legal eviction, notice, file in court and have a hearing, or change the locks and have his stuff setting on the porch ( not legal)

Mom, it's time for some tough love! He is of age to be a man now and won't learn that until you let him face the consequences of his own doings. Call his probation officer or the police. He might immaturily hold it against you, but you will be doing him a favor in the long run. He will get over it as he grows up and one day may even thank you for it. He is young enough now where he has time to straighten himself up before it has a lasting effect. If you don't act now, it will only get worse. Nobody said parenting was easy. To truly love your children you need to do what is right for them, it will be better for him. Sorry, but it is the only way, Stay strong mom!