You know I thought my marriage sucked. I felt like I didn't marry the guy I fell in love with. He changed so much and I didn't like it. I have spent the last four or five years trying to change him into what I fell in love with and what I want him to be and it hit me... I'm forcing a human being to be something their not just because I'm not happy with change. Ive so much energy into changing him that I destroyed our marriage and relationship with him. All we do is fight and pick on each other and feel like he is tired of me treating him like he's a kid, I feel bad and want to make this right. How do survive in a marriage. Im 19 years old and I don't want to give up because I do love him regardless of the big change and we have two kids together. How do I focus on making him happy because now I'm done trying to change him I'm kind of out the loop on how to be in a marriage or a relationship.

I am sorry you are in this spot and your post shows a lot of maturity for a l9 year old. You both got married quite young I gather. Could be he hasn't matured to the same level you are and that's the problem. You can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear, they used to say. You have been trying too hard and now recognize that you are beating a dead horse (I am really good at these sayings). But you know, they are appropos in this case.

I could lean on the old standby by saying, both go to counselling, but I don't think that is the way to cure your problem. I can say too, that you are too young to be wasting time on someone who doesn't see the situation in the right light and you should be off somewhere else, love, doing something about meeting someone who truly believes in a good relationship and works with you.

Interesting question you have posed, with no simple answers. You are 19 years old? I think you have to figure out whether you love your husband. If you do and he feels the same about you, there are wonderful prospects for your future and your children.

Thank you for the advice!

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Originally Posted by tickle

I am sorry you are in this spot and your post shows a lot of maturity for a l9 year old. You both got married quite young I gather. Could be he hasnt matured to the same level you are and thats the problem. You can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear, they used to say. You have been trying too hard and now recognize that you are beating a dead horse (I am really good at these sayings). But you know, they are appropos in this case.

I could lean on the old standby by saying, both go to counselling, but I dont think that is the way to cure your problem. I can say too, that you are too young to be wasting time on someone who doesnt see the situation in the right light and you should be off somewhere else, luv, doing something about meeting someone who truly believes in a good relationship and works with you.

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