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-   -   Can a bisexual guy have a normal affair/marriage? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=303731)

  • Jan 14, 2009, 10:03 PM
    al2000
    Can a bisexual guy have a normal affair/marriage?
    I'm a 26 year old guy, and I think I'm bi. In fact due to this, I'm not sexually active to either gender. I think the reason is my attraction to guys being handsome and fit. The same thing applies to girls but the emotional aspect is much more dominant.

    Could you suggest something as sometimes it seems I'm going crazy. Is it possible for me to have a stable relationship (marriage) with a girl?

    What can I do?

    I appreciate any piece of given to help me.
  • Jan 14, 2009, 11:08 PM
    Clough

    Hi, al2000!

    In my opinion, without knowing your background and history concerning relationships that you've had, I think that you could have a stable relationship with a woman. You do state that the emotional aspect with woman is more dominant.

    It would probably be helpful for others who do come along to address your question, if you would share some about your background and history as far as relationships are concerned.

    Hopefully, others will also be along to address your question.

    Thanks!
  • Jan 15, 2009, 08:35 AM
    TexasParent

    It depends on if you are able to remain faithful; or are you lead around by your desires?

    Even heterosexual males in committed relationships desire other women, but they don't act on it. Some end up marrying and still have desires towards other women, but value the marriage and the commitment they've made towards one another and don't stray.

    So ask yourself, have you sown all the oats you want to with men and if you entered a relationship with a woman could you remain faithful; potentially for the rest of your life?

    What are your core values at this time in your life? Do you want to fall in love and have a lifetime relationship, or do you want to play around some more. If you want to play around, simply be honest with whoever you date (male or female) that you have no interest in a long term relationship at this time.

    When you are ready for a long term relationship just remember the commitment it requires and abstinance from others which is reasonably expected by your partner.
  • Jan 15, 2009, 08:52 AM
    Synnen

    What do you call "normal"?

    I'm a bi-sexual female that is in a good marriage, 7 years and counting. Do I still desire women? Sure! Do I still find other men attractive too? Absolutely! Am I dead? Nope!

    As long as you live, you're going to find people that you're attracted to. If you want a "normal" relationship, then you just don't act on your attractions--you stay faithful, regardless the gender you're attracted to.

    Or put more succinctly: Bisexuality doesn't give a "cheat with the same sex for free" card. Cheating is cheating, and if you want a "normal" relationship, you don't cheat.
  • Jan 15, 2009, 08:56 AM
    JSingle911
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by TexasParent View Post
    simply be honest with whoever you date (male or female) that you have no interest in a long term relationship at this time.

    Honesty is definitely the key here. Don't try to hide what you are just because you want a "normal" relationship. There are some people out there who do things differently, and have open relationships. They are fine with being married to someone, and have decided that it is OK for both of them to have other side relationships. If you enter into one of these, make sure you hide nothing from that person regarding your orientation and needs.
  • Jan 15, 2009, 10:39 AM
    Choux

    Al, You are 26 years old... you have to go out and experience relationships and sexual contact with other people so you can find out who you are. Thinking about men and women in a sexual or any other way doesn't count. Fantasy is just fantasy.

    It is possible for you to have a "normal" relationship with a woman, but you have to have experience relating to real women as friends and sexually to see if it is possible. :)

    Fear is keeping you from having serious relationships. YOu might want to take a look at what causes this fear.

    Very best wishes to you, :)
  • Jan 15, 2009, 11:22 AM
    smoothy

    There is no reason a Bi person can't be every bit as faithful or loyoal as any straight or gay person is.

    Fidelity has nothing to do with sexual orientation, it has everything to do with what kind of person they are.
  • Jan 15, 2009, 04:09 PM
    Xrayman

    Everything said above, I concur with-I wish to give you all greenies.

    The point that he is emotionally connected and sexually connected with a woman and seems to desire the male aesthetic (body type etc.) seems to mean he is more hetro in his bisexuality rather than gay-therefore I'd say he will do fine in a long-term relationship/marriage with a woman.

    Cheers
  • Jan 16, 2009, 04:16 AM
    niceguy27

    Thank you all for your advice. The real problem I think is my fantasizing about these guys though when I come to know and talk to them this tends to disappear, and almost feel nothing then.
    Maybe, is this also because I feel somewhat inferior in not being such fit and well-built (though I'm quite tall)? Do you suggest that I experiment with them just for some time?
  • Jan 16, 2009, 05:56 AM
    Fr_Chuck

    People who are not bi sexual, still desire others. The issue is once you marry or get into a committed relationship, you stop seeing and going out with others.
  • Jan 16, 2009, 04:51 PM
    chrissymarie

    Absolutely if you meet the right girl. The right girl will make you not want to be with any one else... man or female.
  • Jan 20, 2009, 03:56 AM
    neverme

    No. Not a chance. You are attracted to too many people and cannot control yourself.







    No only joking :p

    Of course you can, as a bi woman who has been in serious relationships with both men and women, I am living proof that you can!

    You are no more or less likely to cheat just because you are attracted to both sexes. Believe in yourself and you'll find the man or woman that will make you happy.

    Honesty is vital, from the start no matter how uncomfortable it may make you feel, that feeling only gets worse the longer you leave it off.

    But then again that is true of anyone putting themselves out there and exposing their feelings.
  • Jan 20, 2009, 04:06 AM
    PonnieGirl

    You must come to terms with yourself first before committing to others. To thyself be true!

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