So here's the situation. My boyfriend and I have been dating on and off for six years. I know he is the love of my life and the person I want to be with forever. About six months ago, I started talking to a guy from work. I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend to be with this other guy. I thought that we had been together for so long and we had been fighting a lot we should both try to see other people. That was the biggest mistake of my life. The new guy ended up being the most horrible person I have ever met in my life. He was extremely physically abusive, made me lose my job, and took about $1500 from me. He destroyed me as a person. Throughout that whole time, my ex was there for me. He always was trying to get back together with me and he was always supporting me. Right before Thanksgiving, I was able to get out of the abusive relationship. My ex still wanted to get back with me but I still didn't want to be with anyone. About two weeks later, I caved into my ex and we got back together. That was the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me. It was like we had fallen in love all over again. Everything was perfect until last week When the abusive ex texted me. He said he couldn't breathe. I asked him why and he said he was having a panic attack. I said he should hang out with his friends and I went to bed. Two days ago, I was getting out of the shower in the morning and my boyfriend told me I needed to leave. I asked him what was wrong and he said I knew what I had done and that he never wanted to see me again. He looked through my phone and saw that I had responded tomy ex. He thinks we are still dating and still sleeping together but I haven't seen him. My boyfriend is my everything. I've been crying since it happened. I need to get him back. I've been texting and apologizing but he just basically says he wants nothing to do with me. He won't answer my phone calls. I need to get him back.

No trust = no relationship

It's sad because from what you are saying, you are telling the truth about not meeting him but I can also see his side of the tracks as well. Put the shoe on the other foot, I'll explain.

You left your boyfriend of 6 years to be with another guy you were emotionally cheating on him with, that's going to ruin any type of trust. Then you two get back together and things are going great as he believes, then all of a sudden your ex texts you and you respond. He sees this as a red flag and thinks history is repeating itself so he breaks up as a defense weapon.

That's how I see it

I see what you are saying but I can't accept it. I know I have hurt him really bad. He's done things that have hurt me. But I think we've both grown. I know I am not the same person I was before. I just need him to believe me this one time. I'm not asking to forget. I know it hurts. I just need one more chance to prove myself. I guess someone always stops loving the other, that's where relationships end.

Your ex doesn't trust you anymore. You took something sacred and tossed it aside. Do you really blame him?

You're going to be walking on eggshells for a very, very long time.

Yes, Romefalls19 is right,, I probably should have added : If he ever wants to take you back. You did some serious damage. I've in a sort of similar situation in the past and it really feels like a knife in the heart. This whole thing at this point is setup to fail now. Just give a lot of time.

Leave the guy alone, and let him work his own problems out.

He went through your phone, and jumped to the wrong conclusion. He didn't trust you in the first place, and was just waiting for something like this to confirm it.

Now you have two exes, and should leave them BOTH alone.

If you truly love your ex, you'll find any way you can to explain that you want to be with just him and you'll tell the abusive guy to never contact you again.
Personally, if my ex found someone else even though I still loved her, I wouldn't go back(unless she really really proved that she wanted just me). I just don't believe in being second to someone when I'm in a relationship.

I agree with the others... Trust was shattered when you fell for the grass is greener on the other side thing. I would be hard pressed to believe you too. Trust is what killed the idea of me ever giving my ex another shot. She basically did what you did and for me there was no going back

Think about it... you left him for another guy. It's asking a lot for him to overcome something like that. He obviously doesn't trust you, i.e. going through your phone and not believing you.

I think all you can do is just say your piece genuinely and from the heart and leave it at that. The ball is in his court now.

I’m the guy who this question was posted about. I think the advice you all gave was really very well put. Trust is very important; I think we are all lucky if we can find someone that we can believe in. Though I think forgiveness is one of humanities most powerful actions I don’t think it can completely fix a heart once you have broken it. There’s always something left behind sort of like a crack in a windshield of a car. It will slowly get bigger and eventually explode in your face. The love of my life and I did break up shortly after this. Though I don’t see her or talk to her, I do wonder about her. I see her in pictures with her family, friends, or her boyfriend and she looks happy. I’d like to think that maybe our relationship was a learning experience. I’d like to think we both grew from it, hopefully into better people. I don’t think I’ll ever love anyone quite like I loved her, but after all we’d been through maybe I’m not supposed too. The worst part about a relationship going sour is losing faith in the golden rule. We’ve all heard it growing up… treat others the way you would like to be treated (not how others treat you). I began to neglect her the way I had been neglected. I gave just about anything more importance over her the same way she had done to me. I even went back to a girl I was seeing during the times she’d broken up with me in the past, while I was still with her. I became a cheat. Looking back my actions were just as despicable as hers. I realize now that in order to be with someone you cannot believe yourself to be better than they are, nor should you sully your ideals to be able to love them like they love you. I tried so very hard to be able to understand her actions and in the end I became someone that she could no longer love or respect. We both know now what it is to totally destroy another person; unfortunately looking back on the love that we once had it was truly a terrible way for it to have ended. The take home lesson for those who read this tragedy is to never hurt the ones you love in order to level the playing field, you will only hurt yourself when you think about what you’ve done.