I know this is going to sound really out there and not meant to be but, I have been with a married guy for over 17 months now(I already know its wrong. And I shouldn't be there but I am so bear with the question)... Last week he told me he wanted space, I thought okay this will give me a chance to smarten up and walk away figuring he was thinking the same thing.. I didn't call or text I didn't do anything I gave him his space figuring this might be the end... Well in the same day he says to give him space he's calling me that night asking why Im not returning his calls. I am so confussed he says things are too serious between us and he doesn't want it that way but yet he won't let me go, contiues things like nothing is wrong and nothing was said it sticks in my brain that he has said what he said and I can't help but wonder what the Hell he is doing. Sorry maybe this is dumb but I am just trying to figure it all out...

Change your phone number and re-evaluate your perception on character, as niether of you have it right now. Do not give him an excuse to call you, as he is messing with you because he can... he can because YOU LET HIM!

End this crap NOW!

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Originally Posted by notsure09

I am so confussed he says things are too serious between us and he doesnt want it that way but yet he wont let me go, contiues things like nothing is wrong and nothing was said it sticks in my brain that he has said what he said and I can't help but wonder what the Hell he is doing. Sorry maybe this is dumb but I am just tring to figure it all out....

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I think you are on your way to figuring things out. For my own part, I don't believe love leaves one confused; it is something other-than love. b/t/w: reporting your behavior is going to get your fanny scorched at AMHD, so keep an ice-pack nearby.

You are being used. Hes having his cake and eating it. Why don't you smarten up and move on on your own terms, rather then waiting for him to finish it? I know its hard, I've been in that position myself and the relief of not being the 'other' person and not sneaking around and feeling bad for what you are doing and not having someone who is completely 'yours' is huge.

Sounds like maybe the guilt is sinking in for him but he wants to keep you around. Leave him alone. You're better than that. You can find someone that's single and won't use you.

Sometimes a song sez it all:
YouTube - Sugarland - Stay: Video - Closed Captioned

I know the song well, sticks in my brain.And the strength is building almost daily to walk away.instead of looking forward to his calls and visits I now am trying to figure out ways of getting rid of the calls and visits.. My x boyfriend to whom I have loved for years just decided he loves me back... I want to make a good effort with him and begin on an honest slate so I know what I need to do

And you have a boyfriend too?? He ain't confused you are. You sound like you need a man around to feel good about yourself. My experience is you need to be alone to learn to love yourself and be happy with who you are.

Your looking for love in all the wrong places, so leave the guys alone, and clean your mirror, and start to love the one you see looking back at you.

Then you won't be confused at all, and would know what you should be doing for you.

no I don't have a boyfriend I said my x boyfriend we have been apart for some time he has been coming around lately but just talking about life nothing else. I want to go back there but need to make it right w me first

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Originally Posted by notsure09

And the strenght is building almost daily to walk away.

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Real character doesn't wait for "the strength to walk away" it just does it. It will never come, you'll always not feel strong enough, there will always be an excuse, he will always make you feel special and "needed," and you will never be the person you want to be until you walk away.

That's all you have to do. Walk away. Choose in your own heart and mind that you are going to be a real woman and leave him alone.

Real women know when to stop the madness, get up off their knees, and walk away.

I know you are right and trust me I am really trying to walk away but things like this don't go away over night, Its one step at a time Im doing well but I need more time to go all the way sorry if that makes me weak but its honest...

It makes you human, not weak. Just take baby steps, and keep moving forward... don't be stagnant, or move backwards, but move forward with YOUR life... it will take time, but you have plenty of time. Your heart is worth it.

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Originally Posted by notsure09

I know you are right and trust me I am really tring to walk away but things like this dont go away over night, Its one step at a time Im doing well but I need more time to go all the way sorry if that makes me weak but its honest.....

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It doesn't make you weak... it makes you human.

Be strong. Don't contact him. Don't let him play you. Don't let him effect you.

Believe me, I know from personal experience that love doesn't go away overnight. It takes sweat, tears, resolve, scuffed knees, band-aids, girl nights, cosmos, and many, many bubble baths... but when it is wrong, when it has to end, it does.

Be strong. Be the woman that you've declared yourself to be. You CAN do this.

Cut him out. Change your phone number, don't open emails/texts. Don't let him in.