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-   -   Relationship redflags (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=302960)

  • Jan 13, 2009, 08:24 AM
    hungtoronto
    Relationship redflags
    A lot of people on this website mentioned about relationship redflags. Please tell us yours so we all could learn something.
  • Jan 13, 2009, 08:27 AM
    kctiger

    1. All sex and sexual actions stop
    2. There are several texts and emails from another guy, whom she claims is only her "friend"
    3. Refer to number 1 and 2
    4. You argue about the most pointless stuff in the world... almost as if one of the two are searching for a way to end it.
    5. Absolutely ZERO effort is put in by the other partner

    6. Her Facebook or Myspace status all of the sudden says "Single" :rolleyes:
  • Jan 13, 2009, 08:31 AM
    hungtoronto
    - The man should be a provider and should pay for everything.
    - Went out with a guy and lied to me.
    - Lost money because she didn't follow my advice. Didn't tell me about it but I found out and confronted her. She cried.
    - Every time we try to talk about problems she was either upset or cried and that's the end of the conversation.
    - Disrespect me in front of my friends i.e say bad things about me while I keep quite about it.
  • Jan 13, 2009, 08:33 AM
    kctiger

    7. When you come home and find your girlfriend in bed with another guy...

    Please just take it as a sign it is over. Contrary to popular belief, she isn't doing it so she can realize how much she really loves you.
  • Jan 13, 2009, 08:37 AM
    hungtoronto
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kctiger View Post
    7. When you come home and find your girlfriend in bed with another guy...

    Please just take it as a sign it is over. Contrary to popular belief, she isn't doing it so she can realize how much she really loves you.

    I don't know what I would do if I found my girlfriend in this situation.
  • Jan 13, 2009, 08:39 AM
    kctiger

    Me neither. I can say, with pretty good certainty, I wouldn't want to be either her or the other guy if I walked in on this...
  • Jan 13, 2009, 08:39 AM
    jmw0713

    1. When she doesn't want to talk about her evening out with her friends at all.

    2. When a guy calls and she goes into another room to talk with him.

    3. When she constantly talks about how funny another guy is and says there is nothing to worry about.

    4. When she is always giving her number out to other guys.

    5. When you notice her becoming distant and not opening up to you emotionally anymore.
  • Jan 13, 2009, 11:31 AM
    Sweet_Guy23
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jmw0713 View Post
    1. When she doesn't want to talk about her evening out with her friends at all.

    2. When a guy calls and she goes into another room to talk with him.

    3. When she constantly talks about how funny another guy is and says there is nothing to worry about.

    4. When she is always giving her number out to other guys.

    5. When you notice her becoming distant and not opening up to you emotionally anymore.


    When she becomes distant, unconcerned, stop calling and texting as much, starts to break dates... BEWARE MY FRIEND...

    Here's the BIG ONE... WHEN HER ACTIONS BECOMES INCONSISTENT...
  • Jan 13, 2009, 11:51 AM
    plonak

    Most everyone posted here about girls doing things to guys

    Now I'm a girl, here are some red flags that us girls watch out for from guys

    1. Not letting you see his phone
    2. Not wanting to be intimite
    3. Always being grouchy
    4. Not taking my happiness into consideration
    5. Selfishness (kinda same as 4)
    6. Not wanting to go out as much
    7. When you break a date with him because you're not feeling well, they don't care and go out with the guys the instant you cancel
  • Jan 13, 2009, 11:57 AM
    Yosomoton213

    How about not appreciating you?

    For instance, when my ex and I used to be in separate places, she would say... "You would have loved where I was today. I wish you were there."

    Instead... she didn't tell me much at all. And stopped asking questions. She stopped caring about that stuff.

    And if you catch her hiding things from you, that's a pretty good indicator that things are over.
  • Jan 13, 2009, 12:10 PM
    hungtoronto
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Yosomoton213 View Post

    And if you catch her hiding things from you, that's a pretty good indicator that things are over.


    Hiding? Do you mean lies? They should have some kind of privacy too right?

    I caught my ex going out with a guy while lying right to my face and I confronted her. She said she go with him to find out stuff for me which is bs as I later found out. She try to help herself since this guy promised that she'll make a lot of money. I told her to pack her pack and get out of the house but when she did I stopped her. Shouldn't have done so. We ended up breakup up a month later.

    I think it's god's will that I found out. How would it be possible that her cell phone dialed my number and I pickup and over heard their conversation? What are the chances?
  • Jan 13, 2009, 12:29 PM
    450donn

    WOW! That is a good question. Most people would tend to agree that sexual answers are a biggie.
    But how about:
    1) abuse, either verbal or physical?
    2) change of habit's
    3) Clingy or possessive
    4) overbearing
    5) disliked by others in your circle of friends
  • Jan 13, 2009, 12:32 PM
    Romefalls19

    Ha OK, let's see if I can get a good list

    1. Says "oh he's just a friend"
    2. Says she can't cook and yet took cooking classes
    3. You see her holding hands with another guy
    4. She tells you "maybe we should start doing things apart"
    5. When she stops answering her phone.

    I'm sure there are more and I'll add to the list
  • Jan 13, 2009, 12:35 PM
    Yosomoton213

    Yes, I do mean lies... or telling "half-truths".


    And yes, you should respect her privacy, but if she starts acting inconsistently than she was before, I would talk to her about it. And when she can't give you a definite answer, I would either 1. get out of the relationship, as she cannot communicate to you what she is feeling, or 2. investigate further.

    I personally would choose one, but some who are "in too deep" would probably stick around for the beating to see if anything changes.

    And as for the "pack your bags and leave" deal, you should've stuck to your guns. I did the same thing, and I don't know what hurt worse: my pride or her leaving. I felt like someone kicked my puppy.
  • Jan 13, 2009, 12:40 PM
    Romefalls19

    For you guys wonder what a guy would do if he walked in one his girlfriend with another guy. My friend had it happen to him, only it was worse. Let me paint this picture for you

    They were together for 4 years, ring shopping and looked like the best couple. He would send her roses almost every month and paid for the apartment. He comes home from playing a show one night and finds his girlfriend in bed with 2 guys! He kept his cool(don't know how he did it), left the apartment, called the cops and had the 2 guys arrested for trespassing as his name was the only one on the paper. She went to bail the two dirtbags out and he packed all her stuff and put it on the curb for her when she made her return.
  • Jan 13, 2009, 12:41 PM
    hungtoronto
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Yosomoton213 View Post
    Yes, I do mean lies... or telling "half-truths".

    And as for the "pack your bags and leave" deal, you should've stuck to your guns. I did the same thing, and I don't know what hurt worse: my pride or her leaving. I felt like someone kicked my puppy.

    I think sometime you need to be kicked in the nuts once before you can stick to your gun.
  • Jan 13, 2009, 12:42 PM
    plonak
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Romefalls19 View Post
    For you guys wonder what a guy would do if he walked in one his girlfriend with another guy. My friend had it happen to him, only it was worse. Let me paint this picture for you

    They were together for 4 years, ring shopping and looked like the best couple. He would send her roses almost every month and paid for the apartment. He comes home from playing a show one night and finds his girlfriend in bed with 2 guys! He kept his cool(don't know how he did it), left the apartment, called the cops and had the 2 guys arrested for trespassing as his name was the only one on the paper. She went to bail the two dirtbags out and he packed all her stuff and put it on the curb for her when she made her return.

    Ouch, that must had been horrible for your friend!

    Hope he ends up finding a girl that he deserve
  • Jan 13, 2009, 01:30 PM
    Romefalls19

    He did, he actually wrote a couple songs about it, when she came to the next concert to try and reconcile with him(seriously, who would take a girl back after that) he was in the middle of the song and depicted the whole scene through the song and looked at her the whole time and EVERYONE knew what was going on. Very funny
  • Jan 14, 2009, 05:13 PM
    talaniman

    Red Flags to me is anything that doesn't sound right, and can't be explained, when you ask about it.
  • Jan 15, 2009, 07:35 PM
    Icarus
    This is an excellent thread!!

    My red alert list:D

    1. She switch off the phone every night before she sleeps. She apologize " Im so worry for the radiation didnt you watch tv?" LIE No1 A cellphone in 10 feet distance when you sleep can't harm you. Not even a fireplace can warm you from this far away.:rolleyes:

    2. She never had a serious disagreement with you. Actually she avoids them. Always!

    3. You have never see her wallet but you are ready to buy a new one for you because it is a wreck with this "open close open close" every time you go out with your girlfriend. Unless you are Bill Gates and you are reading these lines right now(Hi Bill:D) you should start worry for your girlfriend. Does she really respects your life and your fatigue at work? Stop pay for everything and watch her reactions... :rolleyes:

    4. Hello. I just call to say do you love me?
    Oh really? After a year or two that you sleep together, you go vacations together, you make plans for your future she suddenly wonders?
    Enough said.:cool:

    5. Sex!
    Not tonight I have a terrible headache or lets see a dvd or (fill some women excuses for me:p). Sooner or later she will tell you the big truth. "I see you as my friend" and she will mean it.

    6. Does she ALWAYS answers an incoming sms in front of you? How's her reaction when she reads the message? Body language is an easy way to uncover a liar!

    The list could be so long but I don't speak english very well so I stop here.

    PS.Be like Hercule Poirot. Watch every sign that you don't like in your relationship and take care of them before its too late...

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