Hi Guys,

My husband and I are finally going to celebrate our marriage. We been married for 4 years and never celebrated or went on honeymoon. Now, this year in summer we are doing both.

In Dec last year my husband and I found a venue we both liked. It is a nice / modern / posh indoor restaurant. Seated 3 course meal. Both of us liked this venue and where happy to hold it there.

A few weeks ago mum approached us and said she would help us financially. She also heard of a nice outdoor venue. Mum and I went to see it and I fell in love with the place. I later told my husband who was abit annoyed that I went to see another venue seeing as we had made a choice on the other venue. So I asked him nicely to come and see the place with me. He did and he liked it.

However my husband is the kind of man that once he decides on something and made that choice, he won't go back on that.

After seeing this outdoor venue he said its nice, but he thinks it will be too hot outdoors in Aug. He then added if I like it and want it to be held there, he would be fine with that.

What shall I do?

Hi, Krs!

Well, with anything outdoors, weather is a factor to take into consideration. You also have quite a bit of time to plan for this. Are you going to be having guests at this? I ask because you haven't mentioned that.

He did say that if you liked the outdoor place, that he would be fine with that. So, I don't see any problem there with him, but concerning things in general, it will help us to know more about what is involved here.

I'm also glad to see that things seem to be getting better for the two of you.

Thanks!

Yes having between 60 - 80 guests...

Its just the way he told me he is fine with that.. made me feel abit guilty as its OUR day not just mine...

I don't no!

Okay. Then some other things to consider.

Is this just going to be a dinner or might you also be having something like live entertainment like a band for dancing or just a small group for musical entertainment?

Thanks!

Its either a sit down meal or a reception.
No live Music..
Just CDs playing...

My husband also said that its too late 930pm.. as british people eat earlier. Im sorry but with all due respect to the bristish people.. I don't care really.. This wedding is going to be held in the mediterrean and we eat late.. so tough right?

Are most of the guests going to be British?

Thanks!

NO maybe 20% only.

Have it at the place your husband prefers - and he's right about August being hot. Don't make him feel that your mother's opinion outweighs his, even if he's giving you the rope to do it. You both liked that place, and as lovely as a place is, if people are sweating their makeup off, and sweating through their suit coats and the frosting is melting and falling off the cake in slabs - as I actually saw at one outdoor summer wedding - it quickly becomes less romantic. Take photos outside - and celebrate in air-conditioned comfort where you can hug and dance without passing out.

while I can see where you both are coming from (you and your husband) does he know that your mom has mentioned helping pay? Also it may or may not be too hot to have it outside. What region are we talking about? If it's late enough in the evening you could probably have it outside. My husband and I had our wedding outside in the summer but we did it at 7:00 so that it wasn't so warm. Also, because the reception was late (8:00) we just had really nice finger foods instead of a full meal. It turned out really well. Everyone seemed happy. =)

Do you suppose perhaps you could have an intimate family gathering at the inside venue, with a sit down meal, and then an outside reception at the other venue with finger food, (your guests could eat their meal earlier) cocktails and dancing? Would it be possible to combine the two? I don't know the details of the inside venue. Is it a restaurant setting, or a banquet hall? If it's the latter of the two, perhaps that's not feasible, or practical in price.

I don't believe it would be too terribly hot in England at 9pm in August. I would be more concerned about rain actually. Could you possibly rent awnings for outside? Personally, I would prefer the outdoors night time venue. Very romantic! You might want to mention that aspect of it to him, and maybe he would lean towards the outdoors.

Since your husband does seem to like the outdoor setting also, maybe you could somehow make a compromise with him so you could both get what you like. Discuss with him that your Mum is footing a piece of the bill, and you don't want to insult her. On the other hand, you are feeling like you're pulled in two different directions, because you also want to make it special and memorable for him. I would sit down with him and ask him if you could somehow incorporate the two, so that everyone is happy.

Whichever you decide, I'm sure you will have the wonderful celebration with friends and family, that you missed out on 5 yrs. Ago. :)

Does the outdoor option have a back up plan if it rains? If not, then don't even consider it.

This is a decision that should be made between you and your husband, not you and your mother. We do not know him well enough to know what he means when he says that the decision is yours. ;)

The most important thing to remember is that this is an event to celebrate your love and commitment. Do not let the chosing of the venue detract from the purpuse of the day.

It doesn't rain in July in the med

If you do it outdoors, you have too many complications to consider because of weather. You could end up putting out all this money for something that turns out to be a disaster because of weather. People are going to be dressed up, women will be in heels - no one wants to 'play in the rain' at a wedding reception. You two have been married for a while now and your husband doesn't like the outdoor choice. It is his reception too. You and your husband need to decide on things.. then after the main decisions are made, then you can plan things with your mother, if you want her to help. Eating at 9:30pm is rather late for a reception. You may be paying for an entire meal and people aren't hungry anymore because they already ate. If you're going to do a meal, you should do it earlier. Lots of guests leave after the cake - is the cake going to be at 11:00-11:30pm? Who will want to stay after that to dance? Your dinner should be around 6 or 6:30pm. Get that out of the way, and then you will have a nice night to enjoy yourselve with your guests. If you have it outside in August - it is hot! I'm a caterer - August is the new July. You don't want to be worried about mosquitos, etc biting you while you're sweating outside, possibly in the rain. Your husband deserves a say, as well as you. If you can some how mix indoors and outdoors, go for it, but be smart about spending all this money for this kind of event - keep it indoors.