Heyy I'm a 16 year old girl and I want to be put into care/foster care. I have various reasons to do this, but here's just one.
7 months ago my brother got a new girlfriend from Plymouth (200-300 miles away). She came down and met him just the once, when she got back home she send an email saying she wanted to move in. She said her mum was kicking her out (which we later found out was lies). My mum told her yes before asking what me or my brother thought about the idea. Even my dad didn't know until she was on the doorstep. I didn't like her as she was always backstabbing me trying to get my boyfriend to dump me for her. But I forgave her and gave her another chance. But she continued doing that sort of stuff. Like she would break into my room snap the lock off the door & go through my stuff. She would get my brother to come downstairs and beat me up by telling him I was being abusive towards her when I never did anything like it. And that's just the beginning. No one believed me when I told them what she was like they all called me a lier. Only older sister backed me up, but as she don't live with us she got told by my parents if she would keep going on about it she won't be allowed to come up anymore, and be banned from the house. I won't go into much more detail. But eventually my brother dumped her and she moved back to Plymouth. He had his own reasons for doing that, so I still haven't told him what she was doing as it migh cause arguments and I don't want that to happen. But after all this my house don't feel like my home anymore. I don't get along with my parents, mainly my dad for various reasons which I won't get into. So I have been seriously thinking about going into care/foster care since I was a young child about 9-10. But I haven't told anyone as no one would take a 9 year old seriously. They would just think it was a child trying to get attention or a spur of the moment thing. But I have felt this way for years now. So what my question is, Who do I get in touch with to be put into care/foster care? And/or How?
Thanks Very Much
Catharine-Emma

Foster care is a big step in ife. I have had lots of stuff happen to me. Al those stuff lead to wanting to get put into foster care. Maybe you should just settle and get on with life. Let them be es but you know you're the better person. Get good education and take it as it comes.. you will soon be old enough to live in your own house never mind all that bother.

I have not hear anything that family counseling would not help, and nothing for children's services to use to remove you from the home. So a lot of the "won't get into that" has to be some real issue, are you physically abused, not feed properly, what is happenning, but you call children and family services and ask to talk to them

I agree with Fr_Chuck that you most likely would not qualify for foster care, You could do as Fr_Chuck suggested and then they could insist that there is counseling for you and your family.

I agree with everyone else. The girl that was causing all of the problems is gone. Why not make the best of what you have now? Foster are is not the answer here. Some good family therapy will do a lot of good! Good luck!

I am 16 yrs old how can I get foster parents?

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Originally Posted by DeShawneal

I am 16 yrs old how can I get foster parents?

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Unless you live in an unfit home, you can't.

I honestly don't think you want to go into foster care. You go from one situation out of your control to another situation out of your control AND you have no idea what these people will be about. And once in that situation, you are stuck. The best thing you can do is buckle down for a few more years and make good choices about your future, so that you can move out & live on your own.

Only older sister backed me up, but as she don't live with us she got told by my parents if she would keep going on about it she won't be allowed to come up anymore, and be banned from the house.

Before you think of Foster Care, do you think you would be able to live with your older sister?

Well it is not much cop I am in a care home and it makes you feel absouloutly crap you would not qulify thourgh it took 13 years of abuse for me to qulifry that includes a broken leg set alight and thrown from frist floor window social services still said it was a sutible place for me to live with my mum so good luck

Trust me foster care is not the answer! You don't always get placed in a good home. I've only been in fostercare for about 4 years and I've been in 6 homes and in 2 of them I was sexually abused and in 3 of then they were physically abusive. Needless to say its not everything that you think it will be. Your family is all that you have and right now your probably on high school and you've only got 2 years until you turn 18 I'm sorry that things aren't working out for you but your at an age where you will hopefully have more indipendance and you won't have to be around then as much. Good luck and I really hope that you make the right choice!!

I no what you mean it is hard relly hard and I am thinkng bot going in to foster care and I'm 13 but life gs on and so do you so just ummm live you life I no ts hard but at least you have a faimle who love yhoo so why I would sereusle think bot what you are saying and that's uther stuff woul dhave to be verry verry bad to be put in foster care :( sorry xx

I no its hard I have problems too but running away is not a opetion so just make most out of a bad situation and I have o say I agree with the uthers sorry I couldent help ;(

If you get into care and then get fosterd do you live with the peple till your 18 or stay there till you like and also if I wanted 2 get into care do I have to give my full reaasons to why I want to go and does this mean if is like getting beaten up neary every day that the police have to get involed? It would be very gretful if someboidy could answer my questions. Thank you very much.

I have the same problem but from a diff view,I'm the mum who is at her wits end and is thinking puttin my daughter into are. There is a huge story behind all this e.g. dad is absent after her 3rd year of life, and its been an uphill battle so far as supporting her but you do what you got to go as a parent. Her dads involvement has been off and on and I'm always left with the tears etc. anyway cut long story short her day has not had anything to do with her for the past 3/4 years, she's just turned 16 and I'm really struggling. She makes me feel like I'm the bad guy all the time and we have been arguing a lot lately... its got soooo bad that I'm ashamed to say but I've considered care... the thought sickens me but I'm not well myself so please help me with ideas... thank you xx

There's an old saying... "you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your relatives". And trust me, foster care is "not" the route you want to take. You think you have it bad with your own family? Foster care will change your mind real quick. And you don't know enough about it to even make that decision obviously. Foster parenting doesn't mean they won't leave you without a few scars. Most are in it for the money they get paid each month to take you in. Most wouldn't want to be bothered with you otherwise. You have two years left then you're free as a bird to move out & start your own life. If you get a good job! No slacker can make it on their own. So don't be a slacker. Get good grades, map out a good plan. Get a job or two part-time jobs & save as much as you can towards future rent, food, & wheels. (gasoline isn't cheap either). Work out a budget now to help you understand the sacrifices you will have to endure to be out on your own. That's a real wake-up call that you need to own now, not later... so you can prepare for the realities ahead.

Rent:$400
Deposit: $400 (required almost 98% of the time to renters) So you'll need $800 down for the first months rent.
Utilities: (gas & electric) These monthly bills depend on the size of the place you rent & the climate you reside in. Both can be costly on a limited budget. For pretend purposes, lets say $100 a month for those. Now you need ($900) to start with towards renting.
Food: Food is not cheap either. So you better learn how to cook beforehand.
A vehicle: monthly payments, gas to make it run & do not forget care insurance. $$ (it's adding up!)Furniture: A bed, blankets, a pillow. A dresser for your clothing, an alarm clock to get you up & ready for your first part-time job. Pots & pans, a small table & a couple of chairs. Curtains or blinds to keep your privacy intact.
All of these items you can find at Goodwill, Salvation Army or any thrift shop fairly cheap. Or your friends & relatives may help you out with any of these donations. But they are necessities. Now, either you save towards a car first or plan to ride the bus to & from work. So you need to rent close to a bus stop & close to a grocery store for food supplies. Unless you like walking & carrying two bags of groceries for however the distance? Planning is smart & fail safe to make this work for you. Male or female. Welcome to the real world where Ma & Pa no longer pay your way. You'll have to get there eventually anyhow.
So you have a lot to figure out & you want to make sure you're not as miserable on your own as you think you were living at home under a roof you are not having to pay for. "Nothing is free" when you step outside your parents door to look for the freedom you so desire. Make a plan, make up a budget & go from there. Both of those will be your guide to what will be required of you to live on your own. You can always go in with a friend & share rent & the other costs. Just make sure that friend is also reliable. Good luck kids... hope this helps in your decision making.

As for the Mom with the 16 yr old daughter & no involvement from the child's dad. I feel for you first off. It's not easy raising a child alone. But it looks like you've done it, so far I would say that's pretty good! The other thing about the arguing & fighting, blaming you for whatever? This is what two parents in the picture go through. Teens are going through the changes & they will argue & fight with a fly on the wall if it landed wrong in their eyes. So you have to take these arguments with a grain of salt & do not blame yourself for not being a couple of parents for your daughter. She is lucky to have one interested in her life. So put on some armor & don't wear what she says or argues with you about on your arm sleeve. They want a reaction & they have no idea why. It's just teens being teens. Have patience. They do grow up evenutally. Again, you do not know enough about foster care & the horrors behind it that can happen. So if you love your daughter, keep her near your side & do her that great justice by being her mother. The rewards for this positive action will be seen down the road & benefit you both greatly. Get some counseling. The Red Cross offers this & they charge according to your income, so if you are strapped.. a few sessions with the Red Cross might only cost you a couple bucks per session, if anything at all. I want to see you both come out of this with great promise of good health, happiness & some pressures eased on both sides. When all else fails.. seek good advice from the professionals before you make a huge mistake that will come back to haunt you the rest of your life. You accepted motherhood by keeping your daughter as a newborn. You did not give her up for adoption. That says volumes to me & others as well. None of us know if the man involved will stick around or flee.. so this isn't anything new? That's what young women need to figure out before they decide to get pregnant. Whether they wanted the pregancy or not. You ae the mother, you bore this child, guess what? Take this seriously & don't weenie out when the road gets a bit shaky. You have a teen & this is when you need to pay as much attention to them as possible. This is the time where they titter between falling between the cracks or have someone strong at home that will guide them through this time with encouraging support & commitment to their cause. Spend time doing things together. Don't let her raise herself at this crucial point. You can't just wish the problems away & hand them to someone who doesn't even know her. Come on!
Get help, gain knowledge on what your daughter needs from you right now. She's a child going through the roughest part of growing up, the teen years. The body chemisty is out of whack so they tend to be a big handful. Read some books on the subject. Free at the library. Just don't give up. You have a very short time left with your daughter. In two years she's 18 & can do or go where she wants. Right now you can save you both a lot of heartache by licking your own wounds & get on with the business of keeping this precious young daughter on the straight & narrow. Please seek help. No one person can do much of anything without some help. Best wishes!

Repondng to (Heloo's) questions.

You poor kid! If you are being beaten daily & the police have come to the house over this, why have the police not reported your parent/parents to "Family Services"? You can talk to your teacher or school counselor about what you go through at home, BUT... make no mistakes about the facts. Do not embellish the facts. Do not lie to make your case stronger or more believable. Just stick to the facts, the truth. If you are being beat daily, there's no reason for you to be put through that.

Family Protective Services are there to help you & your parents. The court can decided to place you in foster care while your parents will be told by the judge to take family counseling sessions which in turn can help them realize the harm they have caused you & the courts will not allow this to continue. They have to seek the help or get into big trouble awith the courts & possibly lose you too.

Once you are 18 the foster family does not have to keep you under their roof. They get funds paid to them each month for your care. Once you turn 18, there's no more funding for them to help finance your care & needs. So understand that. They may let you stay if you get a job to help with the household expenses or ask you to pay something towards your keep.

Just because you turn 18 doesn't mean you're ready to be out on your own. You probably can get a part-time job lined up through your school. So talk with the school counselor about that. No one gets a free ride kiddo after you turn 18. This is deemed adulthood, whether you are ready for it or not. So that is why good decisions need to be in place now & you can get help with that & with the living conditions at home where you obviously don't feel safe.

If the police haven't turned your folks in for abuse & it is still occurring... seek help at the school you attend by talking to the teacher and the counselor. They can take the steps necessary to ensure your safety.

Life is tough kiddo. But it doesn't have to stay so gloomy. You rise above what's been done to you through counseling by professionals who understand what you've been through. They will help you realize your potential & you will grow from this knowledge. If no one else believes in you, YOU better believe in you!
We're all put on this planet for a good reason. Not for beatings, not to be sad & down-trodden... but to make something of ourselves through the talents we were blessed with. I knew my talent when I was quite young. I wanted to be an artist. Now I am!
Took some hard work & dedication, but I did it. So can you! I had a past very similar to yours. I know your hurt. It does get better over time kid. You never forget, but you can move forward to block the past out. I hope you become a great success!

Heyyyyy xxx I am leah I also want to go into care as well but by reason is my mam and dad have split up so I moved house and my mam has made me stay with her when I want to live with my dad beacause my mams ouse does not feel like home . So how do I get in touch so I can move into care xxxx

Leah, are you asking if you can go into foster care?

Your post makes little sense.