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-   -   How to be friends with your ex (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=302091)

  • Jan 11, 2009, 11:55 AM
    freshperspectiv
    How to be friends with your ex
    Question...
    I went through an issue where I went through a breakup with someone I was dating for 6 months. She broke it off with me and I was devastated. I won't lie, when she did it, it was cold and I tried to get a hold of her to talk about it and she ignored me completely.

    So there was a weak moment last week and we talked. We decided to be friends. It was a term I suggessted. Don't ask me why. Maybe I just had a fear of losing her out of my life completely where since we can't be together maybe we can be friends. Probably my ego too.

    Ok, the friendship thing isn't going great and I am keeping my distance. I leave in a month for the military and wondering how do I handle this friendship situation. I do want her back but have a huge fear of her hurting me again and I think me saying that I want to be friends and now it hurts too much will be me confusing her...

    I want to keep where we can talk once in a while but I don't want to see her. Is there a better appraoch to handling this?
  • Jan 11, 2009, 12:01 PM
    jlh76
    Seems to me that maybe your feelings for her are still to strong to try being friends. It takes time, you can't simply break up and be friends without first dealing with your own issues. Take it slow, don't even discuss what you are or are not going to be. An occasional hey how are you may be okay but no serious discussions.
  • Jan 11, 2009, 04:04 PM
    talaniman

    Learn to cope with your own feelings. Let her go, and leave her alone, until you do.
  • Jan 11, 2009, 04:54 PM
    debdoes

    How long ago did you break up?
  • Jan 11, 2009, 05:26 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    No you don't want to be just "friends" you want her back, that is totally different.

    If you want to just be friends, then she tells you about new boyfriends, you tell her about girlfriends and talk and laught

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