I recently began the search for my birth parents. I have received a form that allows me to ask 10 questions. Since my adoption was private there was not much information gotten about my birth parents I really don’t even know where to start. If you could ask your birth parents one question what would it be?

Did everything turn out OK for you?

I don't have any complaints, life has been pretty good so far.

I guess you must have a million and one questions going around in your head putting your mind on overtime.

Have you thought of maybe sitting in a quite place with a note pad and soul searching and writing the questions that come from your heart. Then have a good read of what questions your have written and select the ones that mean the most to you in regards to answers you may well want.

Please also be warned that there is not a 100% in this situation that all your answers maybe answered.

1. Are there any medical conditions in either birthparent's genetics that I should know about?

2. WHY did they choose adoption?

3. Would they be open to communicating directly?

4. Do I have any siblings?

Anything more than that I can't really help you with much. I'm a birthmother, in an open adoption, so it's hard to think of what questions my daughter would want to ask me.

I would add a couple of things to Synnen's list. What is my ancestry and the biggie, what is my story.

What's my story might be the last question on your list. It was my first. I made it clear I was in no way searching to make judgements. Just to find out biologically who I am and how did I end up where I did.

I think the most important thing to consider when embarking on such a search is your frame of mind. You have to be ready for any answer you get from your birth parents. I was lucky and found my birth realatives. It was a fun and exciting journey. I learned new things about many different people who are tied to me now in many different ways.

I also met other adoptees along the way who were unable to find their birth parents. I met one gal who found her birth mother only to learn she was the product of a rape and her birth mother never wanted to have any contact with her what-so-ever. You have to be ready for any answer.

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Originally Posted by tfouts84

I don't have any complaints, life has been pretty good so far.

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LOL - I mean that is what I would ask them. They had to have had a reason to give you to adoption... so I would want to know if the last 18 or so years of their lives turned out OK. :)