Which break-up was the hardest for you to get over? Break ups definitely vary in the amount of pain caused. What factors, other than the actual person you were with, do you believe contributed to it being your worst break up experience?

Factors like:
1) the way it ended
2) length of relationship
2) how much you had invested in the relationship
3) post break up behaviour etc.

May enhance/prolong pain of break up.

1) Ended mutually, but I in now way, shape, or form wanted it to really end. She did

2) 4 1/2 years

3) Everything emotionally that I had was invested into the relationship. She was the first person I had ever fallen in love with, and the first real relationship I have had

4) Kept trying to get her back; held onto the notion that no matter what, it wasn't really over. Was out celebrating my birthday, then one of her friends just randomly told me she was seeing someone else. Come to find out, she was at the same bar I was at that night, with this new guy (saw pics). She never bothered coming to say hi to me or anything. Left the bar with my friends rushing me off as I was just losing it. Absolutely horrific night, and a horrific experience.

Should have just let it go. She did everything she could like just treating me like garbage to get me to undestand it was over, and I never picked up on it until then. Very painful. That was four months ago, and I still hurt from it.

I put this in wrong place.


Yes, 20082008 it would seem that indeed he has moved on. If he really loved you then, he could be just avoiding you because he does not want to be hurt again, or subconsciously he feels like you deserve the pain you feel. I would bet you both have been true at some point to him. I started an anonymous blog in which I talked about how I do in fact want my ex to feel the pain I feel. Not that I wish her harm, I don't. But I'm not rooting for her "happiness" without me either.

I do find it interesting that there was a reversal in behavior. He said things at the breakup the really damaged you, and then you did the same thing to him. All I can say is that this may be, emphasis on maybe, a perfect example of relationships that end and didn't have too. How? Because so many people have not learned conflict resolution skills. So they say things in anger and in ways to either hurt or win the argument. The argument you described sounds like that to me.

I think he loved you, and that he did not know how to deal with the break-up, and so you had the 4 months of him chasing. If I did not have friends calling me constantly, I may do a lot of what he is. I'm also am lucky (oddly enough considering there is a real possibiliy that distance played a part in the emotional distance between us. If anyone wants to know what I mean by that tell me) that she is not in the same city as me. If he was just really stalker crazy, then he would not have stopped, and would have called you by now. The pain he felt though may have just killed the love bond at the root.

One thing others on this board try to relate to people like me, is that the reason so many break-ups don't get back together is that destroying the love bond connection to your ex is the only way to survive the break-up. And once its gone, its gone short of a lot of therapy and determination. Even though my other posts don't show it, I do know that, and always have. It's the reason I tried very hard at he beginning of this "separation" to not have it come to this. Because I know that in order for me to survive, I have to just not contact, but emotionally kill it, so to speak, and there is no turning back from that. And since I'm in my life my "gut" and head have seldom been wrong when each agrees with the other, I know my ex will be in your shoes at some point ,and it won't matter. ***now for those that are thinking right now that I'm just fooling myself again, all I can say is if I'm wrong I'll never know anyway, so, well there it is.***