Ask Me Help Desk - Stressed

OK so basiclly I'm pretty stressed right now
I'm going into high school witch I'm kind of nerviose about
And I really like my best guy friend but I'm not sure what to do he tells me that he loves me to and misses being with me but then he says he doesn't want a girlfriend

So what should I do

So you are going from 8th grade to 9th grade?

Yeah, this can be a really stressful time.

If he says he does not want a girlfriend, the best thing you can do is be his friend. He may come around in time.

Are you the same age, same school, same grade? My kids go back to school Aug 7, my birthday. You may be going back really soon too. Everyone is nervous going from elementary to middle then to high school. This is all part of the growing experience.

And... Hey you are not alone. I went back to college when I was 39, you want to talk about stressed and nervous, I was going back to school with teenagers, some of them young enough to be my KIDS. But I got over it, and you will too, just give it a week. You will see...

Yeah I am still in high school and I clearly remember freshman year and let me tell you, you have nothing to worry about, it was definitely one of my best. You get to start over with all these new people, but still have all these old friends, it really is a chance to expand your horizons. Try to be as approachable as you can be, by smiling a lot and being talkative. People respond to that and you will definitely attract new friends. I know how your feeling nervous, but it goes away after the first day and especially once you get your first test.

As far as your guy relationship goes, J 9 has a point, if you lay back he might come to you. However it depends on how badly YOU WANT A BOYFRIEND. I personally hate advising people to wait on someone else. If he can't make up your mind on whether he want's to be with your right now, I don't see how a couple of months will change, especially since he says he loves you. I mean if he does, then he definitely wouldn't play the "I don't want the girlfriend card right now..." and I think that's what is happening to you right now is that you are getting played. I honestly advise you to give him and ultimatum and tell him it's me or the highway. If he was as good of a friend as you say he is, then it's no biggie, if he says no, because you can still be friends. And I know that might hurt you, but you will be better off for it. Trust me. Eventually you will find someone who want's to be with you from the start and vice versa, and you don't have to feel like your forced him into a certain situation. I believe, honestly that if you friend says no, you are still friends, but it gives you the opportunity to spread your wings and grow. It doesn't constrict you, it won't hold you back, you know what I am saying. I mean it allows you not to have your life dependent on some guy's answer, that you don't know even when it's going to come. So honestly the best solution is to confront him, and tell him(depending on exactly how badly YOU want a boyfriend) that you would like to be with him or else your are going to explore other avenues. Like I said before if he is a good friend, he will respond accordingly, by still being friends with you even if he says no and you date other guys. Either way it's not anything to stress about, just tell him upfront and you will have no problems, and school will work out find trust me.

You have a lot of posts with boyfriend problems of one type or another. May I suggest to relieve all that stress to leave the boys alone for now. Work on something else more positive like school friends and family. I click on your name and I get threads from last August to today with nothing but boyfriend problems. That worries me.

Wow, I looked and sure enough-- you've authored no less than 22 threads all concerned with boys. While I remember it being a favorite topic to all teenage girls, there is a point where you cross a line from being all thumbs-and-elbows-interested like any adolescent to being what we used to call "boy crazy". Tal is right in that you need to cultivate some balance in your life. That isn't being said lightly here either since some of us know what happened to many of the girls in high school who were "boy crazy".

Out of a genuine concern for you, I ask you now -- would you look at that a little closer and tell us what you think about being "boy crazy"?

I didn't check you past posts before giving my advice... and I still think my advice stands. I do not care what you did in the past, and what tally and val said is true, however I am not going to look at your past and just focus on the problems you face in the future. I do agree with them, that if you are having a lot of male trouble, you might be better off focusing on something else. Like friends, sports, clubs, TV etc. However, I did say that in my original post, I did say that you just confront your problem with your friend and either move on with or with out him. Which would then make it so you don't have any boy problems. So either advice you take on here will be all well and good. Both talaniman's advice and val's advice are great, as is J 9's, but I just want to offer you another avenue. Even though they are kind of related. Anyway, either advice you take, it should fix you boy problem.

Quote:

Originally Posted by valinors_sorrow

Wow, I looked and sure enough-- you've authored no less than 22 threads all concerned with boys. While I remember it being a favorite topic to all teenage girls, there is a point where you cross a line from being all thumbs-and-elbows-interested like any adolescent to being what we used to call "boy crazy". Tal is right in that you need to cultivate some balance in your life. That isn't being said lightly here either since some of us know what happened to many of the girls in highschool who were "boy crazy".

Out of a genuine concern for you, I ask you now -- would you look at that a little closer and tell us what you think about being "boy crazy"?

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_1_55.gifRIGHT ON! Val..

Cutie, you've got to concentrate on education and a future for yourself, not how many boys you're going to get involved with. Please give it some serious consideration.