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Two dirty ol' country boys were ridin' along in their pickup truck when they spotted a sheep struggling to free itself from a fence. The driver stopped the truck and got out. Approaching the sheep, he took his pants down and "had his way". Afterward, he swaggered victoriously back to the truck and told his buddy he should "give it a try". "Okay," came his nervous reply, "but do I have to stick my head through the fence?"
That is bad, but good.:p
Reminds me of another;
Why do cowboys have sex with sheep at the edge of a cliff?
Because the sheep pushes back.
Ewwwww, I can't believe I went there! :eek:
O M G you are a bad girl! Go to MY room! ;)
But, but, okay. ;)
Wait, no, can't do that! I don't know where your room is. ;)
Got to run, kids to bathe, stories to read, lunches to make. A moms job is never done, ever, no, never!
Kind of like the two guys that went fishing. One guy was catching a fish every five minutes. The other guy couldn't get a bite all day. The weird part is, every time the first guy would catch a fish, he would pull it out of the water, hit it hard in the head with his fist stick his cock in the fishes mouth. Well after a whole day of watching this guy do this to these fish, the other guy was a little worked up. The first fisher saw that the second fisher was a little uneasy, so he asked,, you want to give it a try. The second fisher perked up and said,, yea, but you don't have to hit me in the head.
Two drunks were sitting on a street corner wondering if they
Should buy a beer with their last dollar. One of the drunks
Suggested that they buy a hotdog. The other started ing,
Complaining that he couldn't drink a hotdog. The other drunk
Told him his idea.
"What we do is buy a hotdog, go into a bar, and order two
drinks. After we drink our beers you drop down to your knees,
and I'll unzip my pants and pull out the hotdog so you can suck
on it. The bartender will throw us out."
The other drunk thought this was a great idea, so they bought a
Hotdog. They went into the first bar, ordered their drinks, and
Drank them quickly. Then the drunk dropped to his knees and
Started to suck the hotdog. Sure enough, the bartender kicked
Them out.
They hit about ten or fifteen bars when the first drunk started
To complain about his knees hurting. He asked if in the next bar
The other drunk would do the dirty work. The second drunk
Said, "I'd rather not. I lost the hotdog after about the fifth
bar."
kc, you should find JOHN FOX X-RATED HUMOR, online, I bet you would get a kick out of it. He is dead now, but he was one of the funniest dirty comics I have come across. Have you heard of him?
No, but I'll check it out. Thanks.Quote:
Originally Posted by mygirlsdad77
I come home from work to find my girlfriend sitting on the porch wearing a short, short skirt, and she's not wearing any underwear. She's eating pizza. I say, what the hell are you doing sitting out here eating pizza in a short skirt, with no underwear on.. She says... keeps the flies of the pizza.
Hey raaaaaallllllph! Get the buuuuuuiiiiiiick! We're going to eeeuuuuuurrrrope!:eek:
Quote:
Originally Posted by mygirlsdad77
... oh... my... god...
I was just eating a pizza when I read that.
... plus, wouldn't that ATTRACT more flies?
OK, here's a clean one. (no, not the pig took a bath)
This guy is driving down a country road, completely lost. His car breaks down. He has been walking for about ten minutes when he comes up to this horse. The horse looks at him and says... so your car broke down huh? I think it may be your carburator.
The guy freaks out, and starts running as fast as he can until he reaches the nearest farmhouse. He runs up to the house, bangs on the door and when the man of the house answers, he says... (out of breath) my car broke down, I saw a horse and it talked!! it told me my carb was bad. The farmer thinks about this for a couple seconds, then says,, was it a white horse with brown spots? The guy says YES!! The farmer says,, I wouldn't pay him any mind, he don't know much about cars.
And now my dirty joke... the pig fell in the mud
Feel free to use these at your next cocktail party. However, they are much funnier if all listeners are completey ripped.
Haha.. no... I think the lack of underware would keep all the flies busy and off the pizza... lolQuote:
Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny
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