Ask Me Help Desk - A bit wary?

A bit wary?

I have been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for a year and a half, I am 20, he is 22. MOST the time is fine, and we get along great, but when we argue, we ARGUE! On New Years Eve he stayed at mine, I got woken up at about half 2, to him masturbating beside me. I was furious, but decided to pretend I was still asleep.

1. Firstly, is this normal behaviour? I found it quite disgusting

He then went away for the weekend, and for some reason unknown we were arguing again. He has since not text me from Sunday night, through to today, when I text him, as I gave in.

He said he had not finished with me and that he was giving me space, but how was I to know that. To me it seemed as though he was never going to text me again, if I did not text him?

I just find it hard, as one minute we are all happy and great and love each other, the next we are in full blown argument, and when I do not see him or speak to him, I cannot function I miss him so much and always wonder what he is up to. However I am not sure if I even cross his mind when we do not speak. He claims I never leave his mind.

Basically I am just finding his behaviour a bit strange at the minute, I cannot live without him and do no want to, but I cannot keep going on arguing with him, anyone any suggestions?

Quote:

Originally Posted by stones1234

I have been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for a year and a half, I am 20, he is 22. MOST the time is fine, and we get along great, but when we argue, we ARGUE! On New Years Eve he stayed at mine, i got woken up at about half 2, to him masturbating beside me. I was furious, but decided to pretend I was still asleep.

1. Firstly, is this normal behaviour? I found it quite disgusting

I would say no... but I have a very good friend that has done this with his fiancé on several occasions. It makes me laugh yet I find it somewhat disturbing. I'm sure she knows and doesn't care. Sometimes he's even 'brushed' her boob...

Your question is kind of vague. Not quite sure what you're asking, but anyway..

I honestly don't think there is anything wrong with him masterbating next to you, who cares.. He proly woke up horney and didn't want to bother you and decided to take care of himself.. big deal

So, you guys fight and now you're on a break? Why don't you talk to him, communication is huge in a relationship and you can't get anywhere without it...

Wait... hold the presses. I don't know if it is normal, but I can guarantee, had I EVER done anything remotely close to this to my now ex girlfriend, relationship would have ended a lot sooner than it did.

So.. you just wet the sheets and then go back to sleep? Really? Hmmm... I pray I don't meet a woman who is cool with me doing this, as I ain't even cool doing that kind of stuff. There is a time and place for everything.

If you have been together for a long time and you trust and love each other, then I don't see it as a huge deal. A bit disturbing and maybe even disrespectful but not relationship-ending. If it disturbs you personally, then talk to him. It's all about communication. The more you hold inside you, the more issues will pile up and come back to bite you in the future.

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Originally Posted by expat2009

If you have been together for a long time and you trust and love each other, then I don't see it as a huge deal. A bit disturbing and maybe even disrespectful but not relationship-ending. If it disturbs you personally, then talk to him. It's all about communication. The more you hold inside you, the more issues will pile up and come back to bite you in the future.

True, I didn't mean relationship ending. But I would for sure be getting some strange looks for the next few weeks. My best behaviour would have to shine for about a year after that.

It's not a big deal at all. He probably didn't want to wake you, gee.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kctiger

True, I didn't mean relationship ending. But I would for sure be getting some strange looks for the next few weeks. My best behaviour would have to shine for about a year after that.

Yes, he crossed the line, and they need to talk about it. Otherwise he will do it again now that he knows he can get away with it.

I do not see the big deal with someone masturbating, its perfectly healthy. Just tell him he woke you up and you would prefer if he went to the bathroom in future. Maybe if you both talked more you would have less fights.

Quote:

Originally Posted by oldenoughtoknow

I do not see the big deal with someone masturbating, its perfectly healthy. Just tell him he woke you up and you would prefer if he went to the bathroom in future. Maybe if you both talked more you would have less fights.

This isn't about masturbating. Masturbating is to be done in PRIVATE, period. You shouldn't be going to town on yourself while you are in bed, next to your sleeping girlfriend. Call me old fashioned, but NO. That is just absolutely wrong and disrespectful. I don't have a problem with self pleasure, hell, it is the safest form of sex. But I would understand... no, no wait, I wouldn't even consider mastubating next to my sleeping girlfriend. Do you urinate in bed? Same principle. There are places to do such things, and in bed usually isn't one of them.

Pretending your sleep is a good way not to deal with it. This should be talked about, and feelings honestly expressed. Hmmm, maybe that's why your arguing so much as there is a lack of communications or the skills to express how you feel in a positive way.