I am 18, a freshmen in college, and just recently my parents have given me a curfew for when I come home on breaks, a 10 o'clock curfew on weeknights and midnight on weekends! And here's the reason why - during the thanksgiving break they saw me talking to my ex boyfriend, who they hate, in the house, at 1 in the morning, after we saw each other at a friend's house. They said he was uninvited and that I should have told them that he was coming over, so they punished me when I came home for Christmas break, which was the 10 p.m. curfew, and the would not let me out for New Years. I was very upset, snuck out, and they caught me sneaking back in, drunk. Then, one night they let me go to a club, and one of my drinks was spiked - luckily nothing happened, I was with my friends and they took me home, but the next day I was extremely hung over, and my mom thought it was because I made a dumb decision.
Now, two things :
1) How on earth can I get my parents trust back when I am going to school, and they can not see how they can trust me?
2) Should I tell my mom that I did not drink on my own, and that my drink was spiked?
One thing you should know about my mother - before all of this happened I had a lot of freedom, and now, it's all taken away. But my feeling is that I am in college, and I am 18, and I am growing up, and the more she holds me down, the more I do not want to listen to her. Basically, shouldn't she just let me go? Why would I want to come home when I have a curfew, or when I can stay at my school with out a curfew? Or am I totally wrong here?

Hi, lovebug465507!

For one thing, I wouldn't even consider lying to your parents. How would you feel if they lied to you?

If you're going to be spending time in their home and they will be supporting you in some way, then it's best to make good decisions so that bad events don't happen and so that you will eventually get the trust of your parents back.

Your parents love and care for you and also want to protect you. If you had children, would you want to let one of them go, especially if your child was putting him or herself in some sort of danger by the decisions that he or she was making.

I wish for you only the best!

Just some food for thought...

Thanks!

The only thing you can do to gain their trust back is wait, and in the meantime, don't do things that you know will piss them off. You are eighteen, and you have the right to do as you please, but as long as you are staying under their roof, there's nothing you can do about it. They have a right to be mad at you. You had someone that they don't like in their house. You were disrespecting them and showing them that you don't care what they think so they've set these rules. You made a mistake and now you have to live with it and try not to do it again. You might be considered an adult but think about how much your parents are still doing for you.

But you should tell your mom that you didn't intentionally come home hung over, but I kind of think everyone our age should know better by now. If you go to a party never take your eyes off your drink. What if it had been a date-rape drug?

If you don't want to come home then don't, its your choice.