Is it a turn-off to be very open with a woman you've just met? I have a habit of being very direct and transparent while conversing with a new woman. I've been celibate, but it hasn't stop me from befriending women. I I've been trying to be on good behavior by honoring Godly principles in respect to marriage. I've been through dozens of women in my past & I've come to a point in my life where I really want marriage and children before I get too old. I've waisted years of my life dealing with women I had no business dealing with in the first place. Aimless sexual relationships with women isn't what I desire. I once told a woman that I'm not desperate to have a woman in my life, but I am desperate for true, fulfilling love. I didn't hear back from her, but I didn't see anything wrong with what I said.

:confused:
Is my approach to women too bold?

I think all men should be open and honest really. Most guys lie and tell you what you want to hear so they can get you in bed. Guys suck. My boyfriend is one that's really open and honest and I love you. You just have to find the right woman. Good luck

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by JustHisGirl

i think all men should be open and honest really. most guys lie and tell you what u want to hear so they can get u in bed. guys suck. my bf is one thats really open and honest and i love you. you just have to find the right woman. good luck

---

Finding one is the solution, but where do you start looking? Being single has it's perks, but it SHOLE IS LONELY...

Um. I don't know where to tell you to look. I actually found my boyfriend online. I will be living with him in 3 days. Um. I hope you find what your looking for.

I like my liquor like I like a man, straight up. I love guys is open and direct, otherwise I woldn't be getting married to my fiancé. He is open and direct among other things.

I am a guy, but I will post anyway. You are a stand up, first class, value having, high standard, moral person, and believe me, ain't nothing wrong with that. You be true to yourself, because in the end, nothing else matters.

Don't EVER look for love, it will find you... when you least expect it. Be you, because that is why you are here. Don't get discouraged, and trust me, enjoy being single.

You might just be meeting the wrong women. I would say try to interact with women that are on the same intellectual level as you are. Women that are ingenuine and boring like to be lied to. A real strong woman can take the truth and knows what she wants.

Maybe it's how you're saying it. I think you have great values and I respect that.. jeez when I get over my ex I will be looking for a guy like that!

But just be careful how you present it to someone, in my opinion the word "desperate" shouldn't be used..

But keep trucking along, God has that right woman waiting for you!

First date... screaming LET'S VEGAS AND GET MARRIED AND HAVE BABIES!

Is good to know but not first date stuff

It's good to be open and honest but easy there cowboy.

Dating is about letting things out a little at a time... it's like the difference of filling a sink with a the faucet or the fire hose. The faucet while slower works better.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Starbucks21

First date... screaming LET'S VEGAS AND GET MARRIED AND HAVE BABIES!!
.

---

Sooo... what kind of guys have you been dating? :)

I think it's great that's how you feel, but maybe you just scared her if it was the first date.

It's very possible that wasn't where she was at in life and she didn't know any other way to uninvolve her self with someone that was on a more serious hunt. Sometimes too you wouldn't have to tell people that you are desperate, it shows and can be very scary. Calm it down, bring it down a thousand and take it slow... always be yourself, just apply a little filteration when speaking.

I like guys who are honest and straight forward, but if a guy told me he is ready to settle down and have kids, on the first date, I'd be a little hesitant. If he says ; 'd like to have kids someday I'd be fine with that... even on the first date, but it can't be out of context... like I work with kids and it's a good and natural conversation piece and this guy I had a couple of dates with before the holidays said that he like kids and would love to have kids someday and I wasn't scared of by it... b\c I'd like to have kids someday lol. There really is a difference there ;) when your honest and straight forward; timing is everything...

It can't really come out of nowhere, but if your date mentions it then you can subtly sneak it in.

Open and honest is good and it will ensure that anyone who does not share your desires is eliminated from the loop .

However, you don't want to make love and romance sound like you are taking applications for the one and only. It's a bit of a contradiction.

I don't think you need to lay all your cards on the table at once,you might just scare away someone who could be the one.

I would take it on a case by case basis. Feel the situation out a little before you scare away someone who just wants to take it naturally.

Well she asked me some pretty personal in depth questions & to me it hinted toward that. We seemed to hit it off pretty well. I called her back a few days later with no answer. I called her the day after that and it was the same thing. I sent her a few text messages-nothing real bad-just telling her how I liked her & enjoyed her company. Her mom told my buddy that I came off as being desperate, so I replied with the above statement. My buddy said she wasn't answering me because she was playing hard to get. If that really was the case, I don't like those kind of games. It's a turn-off to me and seems real immature. If you like me, tell me. If you don't like me, I'll understand that. I didn't come out to say that right away. I was kind of trying to be being sarcastic, but being clear as to what my true intension's where. I feel that I looked silly and it's bothering me because she is my buddies niece. I feel that it was a bad idea to begin with.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by roxypox

i like guys who are honest and straight forward, but if a guy told me he is ready to settle down and have kids, on the first date, i'd be a little hesitant. If he says ; 'd like to have kids someday i'd be fine with that.... even on the first date, but it can't be out of context... like i work with kids and its a good and natural conversation piece and this guy i had a couple of dates with before the holidays said that he like kids and would love to have kids someday and i wasn't scared of by it... b\c i'd like to have kids someday lol. there really is a difference there ;) when your honest and straight forward; timing is everything...

it can't really come out of nowhere, but if your date mentions it then you can subtly sneak it in.

---

It did not go down like that. I left out a lot details. I come from a heavy religious background & in that the only reason to date is with marriage in view. I've been in and out of the faith and this girl was not from that. It was an error on my part as I omitted the difference in subcultures. The whole thing just reminds me that I don't belong outside of the faith that I've grown to know. I should not have been in her company that way at all. I understand where I went wrong and I'm sure she thinks I'm an absolute nut, but if she knew where I come from, she'd understand me.

New Relationships are like taking a sh** everything works out better if you just go with the flow and don't push so much, cause if you don'y, you end up a mess and reallt hurting! :D

Hope this helps!!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ITstudent2006

New Relationships are like taking a sh** everything works out better if you just go with the flow and don't push so much, cause if you don'y, you end up a mess and reallt hurtin! :D

hope this helps!!!!

---

Lol that's a very interesting analogy...

Well I think it was a matter of tone

For example, "I want you to have my babies" is too strong...

On the other hand, "I like kids" or "I'd like to have a few kids someday."

Too strong, "LET'S GO GET MARRIED RIGHT NOW!"

Mild, "I'd love to get married someday"

On a serious note.

I think a person who LOOKS and SEARCHES for that special person is usually the person who is either pressured into marriage by this thought of finding a soulmate or ends up alone, hurt and older then when you started. (which is no good)

Listening to you talk I can tell you're very grounded and know what you want in life as far as personal goals and achievements. I just think this marriage and wife thing is something you WANT more because you're getting older and you feel like if not now then you'll miss out forever! While this may be the case, pressuring yourself into a marriage and children with the potentially wrong person is not good for any persons invloved.

My advice would be to stop looking so hard. Be confident in whatever it is that makes you YOU and it will show. There are women that like the grounded, mature and confident man and eventually it will happen. I am not saying to stop looking all together but be more patient with what you discover!

Good Luck

Sometimes people do forget...

Single life at any age can be fun

There are the weird dates (for example the guy that showed up at my house in a klingon costume with worms; his version of roses apparently; still makes me laugh) and I'm sure he'll find some one but we had very different ideas and weren't very compatible. I'm a little more traditional to say the least.

And it can be a little more free.

Then when you go through the gf/bf stage there's the huge amount of nerves but you create memories.

Then there's the fiancé phase where you wonder if all the stress is really worth it and vegas comes to mind and just have want to have the elvis wedding

Then there's the married phase and you're stuck with the person... in a good way

Just always remember to enjoy yourself

You seem to want to rush things a bit