Well, my girlfriend and I have been dating for 4 years. Not I'm not going to lie and say I was a perfect boyfriend because I wasn't. I guess you can say I was a lying cheating sob and I was known to through in some harsh words every now and then. I always felt like my best friend liked her for the longest time. We broke up about 4-5 weeks ago and she said it was just a break because we haven't been getting along and it wasn't perminant. Now I love this girl more then anything in the world, and I'd admit that I was a jerk and in the past. After she broke up with me I thought about everything and I decided to seek some help with my anger issues, and I did. Im totally changed over, I don't fight with anyone anymore, I'm nicer, I'm more clam, and I just need her to see this! How do I get her to notice this? She's going out partying and clubbing and all of that and can only sit here hurt in pain because her friends where my friends but they are more of a friend to her. I just feel I need her in my life. We where high school sweet hearts and we've done a lot together like taking trips and everything! I can't let go I don't want to let go, I don't want to be with any other girl and I can't picture myself with any girl, and when it comes to her I can't picture her with anyone else and I'm afraid if I just let her go then she might walk out of my life. I need help! What do I do or say or act or whatever to show her I changed and I'm not going back to who I was? How do I get her back? Please help! :(

Honestly? I don't know if there is anything you can do.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I was in a relationship similar to this... and I will never, ever consider going back to him... ever. No matter how he has changed and reformed, and I do know that he has.

He hurt me too much to consider going back to him.

I'm sorry, and I hope that she is more forgiving than I.

In the meantime, you need to keep doing what you're doing, working on bettering yourself, and who knows what's around the corner. She may come back to you, but don't put all your eggs in that basket.

Right now, you need to work on you.

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Originally Posted by HistorianChick

Honestly? I don't know if there is anything you can do.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I was in a relationship similar to this.... and I will never, ever consider going back to him... ever. No matter how he has changed and reformed, and I do know that he has.

He hurt me too much to consider going back to him.

I"m sorry, and I hope that she is more forgiving than I.

In the meantime, you need to keep doing what you're doing, working on bettering yourself, and who knows what's around the corner. She may come back to you, but don't put all your eggs in that basket.

Right now, you need to work on you.

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Well I thank you for beong honest with me, but seriouly how can I even try and get her back? Like she says she's not ready for anything yet and she doesn't know anything right now and honestly I just need one last chance, not two or three, just one, to show her that I can be the perfect guy she fell in love with. I mean I took her for granted I never thought she would do this and it sucks and I just got to know how or what to do and try to get her back?

She has to see that you're real. That you really have changed. She needs to see consistency.

It's not going to be easy and it's going to take time.

You can't force her to give you another chance, all you can do is be a man in front of her, show her that you've turned over a new leaf, and that that leaf has stuck.

You have to go into this with the reality that you may never get her back... that can't be y our motivation. You have to do this because you really do need to get better - for yourself... not for her.

And your right I absolutely agree with you but like I did turn over this new leaf and it is here to stick and stay and I don't know how to get her to see if I'm real or not?

If being yourself doesn't bring her back, nothing will.

Sorry, my post was very delayed. The only thing you can do is tell her you've changed and it's up to her to want to see that. You live and learn, and now you know how to be in your next relationship, whether it's with her or with someone new.

I think the best thing to do is let her know your feelings and give her time to consider what you communicated to her. I believe in second chances but both of you need to be participating on the same level. Do not pressure her to get back with you give her space and the ability to regain your trust.

Be patient and even consider the option of counselling it sounds a bit lame, but talking out your feelings work most of times and find out what pisses her off and you too.

Don't not try to intrude on her privacy, meaning that you both have same friends. Do small things that you done in the beginning that made her liked you in the first place..


Good luck

One of the hardest thing you'll ever have to go through friend, I say that from experience and basically sharing the same story as yours.

I did what you did, she wanted a break, I tried to get her back, I changed, she noticed I changed, she never came back, it hurts a lot.

Nobody is going to say anything that will help you at this point, perhaps down the road you will appreciate what is written today.

You changed your ways(you should be pround), however it may not be enough. Do not think it was for naught and that changing yourself did not bring about the result you had hoped for, not yet at least. This is all a journey and you have taken the initial steps in being successful in that journey to be and find a better person for yourself. At times like these it seems as if you cannot find or will not find anyone even remotely close to what you had, have faith you will and always be moving forward.

I hate to write all this gloom but doing anything will only make it hurt worse, please don't consider this giving up rather it is moving on.

Seriously, you need to come to grips with reality... It may very well be over. While reading through some of the answers you've received, and there is some very good advice given, there seems to be one constant with you. You want to know how to get her back "right now". You can't. Give her the space she needs. Every time you press the issue with her you will push her further and further away. Just because you feel you've changed doesn't mean that others see that you've changed. You can't tell people you've changed and expect them to reply with "Well if you say so". If it's true, than in time others will see it and realize it on their own. Including your ex.

She oviously needs time so give her it, carry on what your doing and hope for the best, tell her that you have got help and that you have changed, but don't wait forever for her to forgive you, if she doesn't forgive you soon I would move on. Just hope for the best for now.

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Originally Posted by lushuslips

I think the best thing to do is let her know your feelings and give her time to consider what you communicated to her. I believe in second chances but both of you need to be participating on the same level. Do not pressure her to get back with you give her space and the ability to regain your trust.

Be patient and even consider the option of counselling it sounds a bit lame, but talking out your feelings work most of times and find out what pisses her off and you too.

Don't not try to intrude on her privacy, meaning that you both have same freinds. Do small things that you done in the begining that made her liked you in the first place..


Good luck

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I did do anger counselling, that's how I know I changed, like I get along with my siblings more and my parents and I just want her to see that I'm changed! But how can I show her I'm changed if she won't give me another last chance and show her this new me? I just don't get it. This has been the hardest thing I have ever been through!

It is hard, but unfortunately it sounds like you changed too late. Like I said you live and learn. Treat this as a life lesson and remember what you've learned from this relationship