My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and a half and I was wondering when are you supposed to know when you've met the one? I feel like I have met the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with, but he and I are both set on waiting until after college to get engaged and married. How do you know when you've met the one? And how can you convince your partner (if they don't feel like you're the one) that you are the one? I want to spend the rest of my life with him!

Thanks!!
Anne :)

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how can you convince your partner (if they don't feel like you're the one) that you are the one?

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You can not force anyone to feel anything if they do not want to.

You have been together for 1yr just over, I would say you should have found the feelings needed in that time, but the relationship is still new.

How do you know when you have found the one, I guess that questions comes down to your own personal take on love.
For me it would be the inner feeling around that person and knowing that I would do anything in the world for them and them having the same level of commitment to the relationship.

It sounds from your post that maybe your feeling your other halfs does not see things the same way - communication is key to any relationship, when did you last both talk openly and honest with each other and does your partner know what you want and the way you feel?

I think he does, but every time I bring up marriage or the future he doesn't like to talk about it. He says he wants to get through school first (which so do I) and then maybe consider it. Inside I feel like he is the one and I just wonder if there's a way to get him to open up and tell me if I am that girl... He just doesn't like to talk about the future because he says it's too far away. But quite frankly, I'm pretty sure that he and I are meant to be. There's just something there between us.

I suggest that you don't push it too much.

You both are smart for finishing college first before engagement.

Don't freak him out about marriage if he doesn't want to talk about it.. he's just trying to focus on life right now..

If you feel like you can't be with someone and not know if you have a future with them then, sit him down and let him know how important it is to him.. You can just ask him to answer the simple question "do you see any type of future with us?" and leave it at that, stop pestering him

communication

communication

communication

This is the key to a good relationship.

You need to listen to what he has to say to and he will listen to what you have to say.

It sounds from what your posting that he is happy with the way things are right now, why is there a big rush to move things forwards - We need to live for the now and take what comes in the futcher as a plus, enjoy the relationship you have and if it is meant to be - in time it will happen -

Like you have said - get through school first - that will make a big difference to your life.

Don't push it. Total commitment like marriage tends to scare guys, so don't mention it too much. Get through college first (like you both decided to) and then talk about possibilities of marriage. But get through what needs to be done first.

You don't convince anyone of anything. EVER! Unless it's going to a crappy movie and even than you'll never hear the end of it!

I don't think anyone can fairly tell you if you've met the one. You know it in your heart when it happens. But the obvious things are communication, compromise, acting selflessly for the other person and being ready for the ups and downs- there will be many!

Just wait it out... no need to rush into anything.

Until he's finished school and settled into a career-track job, I wouldn't push too hard. It's very risky to get involved in that sort of thing before you are financially stable. Continue to build the strength and foundation and your relationship will be better for it later.

Trust me, what you feel now can be deceptive. I was with a girl for a year who told me she thought I was the one, and dumped me two months later. And it wasn't because of anything I did.

As long as your enjoying each other then keep doing what your doing and see how you feel next year. If your both on the same page then talk about it, Until then just make good memories and enjoy each other. DON'T PUSH, there is no need.

In 60 years if you are still together, there were the one, maybe.
There is no "one" there is a person who you are willing to work hard on to form a relationship. Willing to suffer at times, willing to be there for each other.

And they will know or fee, when they do, you can not make that happen

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Originally Posted by Animal0126

I think he does, but every time I bring up marriage or the future he doesn't like to talk about it. He says he wants to get through school first (which so do I) and then maybe consider it. Inside I feel like he is the one and I just wonder if there's a way to get him to open up and tell me if I am that girl... He just doesn't like to talk about the future because he says it's too far away. But quite frankly, I'm pretty sure that he and I are meant to be. There's just something there between us.

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You better let this go for now and deal with the present, as he seems quite clear that this is a subject he is not willing to talk about and he is correct in my opinion, to wait and see. A year is too soon I think, to plan a lifetime with a partner who isn't even willing to talk about it. Wait until the honeymoon is over at least, I mean what's your hurry?