After 20 years of living in depression, I'm up to my wits! I am beginning to deal with it although there is one major problem that perhaps my depression revolves around. I have a deep fear of speaking to people. Even people I know. My heart jumps and I freak out. I've always been like that. I know that a cure for depression is seeing the postives in people but so many people I know have depression. I'm not being rude but this makes it difficult for me to see the positive aspects in them. This also means that the majority of people do not want to be talked to or cared for. How do I solve my problem? :(

Many times, people starting imaging the worst case scenario. They fill their head with these irrational "could happen" thoughts and use them to de-motivate themselves.

I am glad you have taken a first step and posted your question here. You'll get many good answers, but I bet you are probably also thinking about how many negative or chastizing comments you'll get too.

If you truly do want to solve your problem, you have to take ownership of it and resolve to do whatever is necessary to beat it. A positive mental attitude is certainly needed, but that goes along with a number of other tools and techniques that you'll use to help yourself.

If you haven't already, visit your doctor for your depression. Your depression might be a result of a physical problem - low blood sugar and brain chemical imbalances come to mind immediately.

The other thing I would strongly suggest is working on yourself using the self-help books and courses that are out there. My favorite is "The Psychology of Achievement" by Brian Tracy, but there are plenty of others. You can also go to the library and borrow these kinds of books and programs if you are wary of purchasing anything.

And of course - there are many here (myself included) that are always willing to talk and help you think things through!
:)

Its possible to paint yourself into a corner. I know I was, at one time in my life, unwilling to trust a single person. However, if left to my own resources, I was going to be a goner. Quite a dilemma! So something had to give. Just like it does it your situation. In order to solve depression, you'll have to be seen by someone and you can count on it to involve talking too. But fortunately, while talking is an uncomfortable state for you to be in, it's both doable and survivable. If you really make an effort to seek appropriate help, you may find a solution to both your depression and your social phobia too. It is by, my estimation, very possible. Is it worth it? I can only say, YESSSSSS and I bet you would ditto this once you "got there" too!

I understand being caught in a vicious circle - mine happened to be PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome) and alcoholism. I am a bit socially phobic too, and certainly agorophobic so I can relate. But I eventually HAD to trust someone and I did, and that cracked the door and after a long and pretty interesting journey of some hard work with some amazingly talented and helpful people both professionally and at AA, voilà, here I am!

The single most important factor in all of this is how badly do you want to get well. If you have somehow successfully adapted to making a life while remaining depressed and alone, then it will be much harder for you. It takes courage to heal because it means leaving behind that which is familiar, even if it is dysfunctional. I can only speak for me in that I wanted to get well at all costs and so I did whatever it took. The question is what are you willing to do?

Depression and Anxiety run hand in hand and can often play off one another. Have you seen anyone to talk about this in more detail? I don't know which route you would like to go down- but there are presciptions that can help with both. For example, zoloft can conver both depression and social anxiety. Having someone you can trust and rely on helps too. There are many people out there- you just have to find the right one for you. I have suffered from both so if you have never need any advice, etc- please don't hesitate to contact me. :) Kate

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Originally Posted by arti86

This also means that the majority of people do not want to be talked to or cared for. How do I solve my problem? :(

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I don't really have what one would call an approachable demeanor so most times I look like I don't want people to talk to me, but the truth is I really do. I can only assume that there are a lot more people out there just like me. Sometimes your feelings color your perceptions incorrectly. Just a little FYI.

There may also be some online counseling that can help jump start you talking to people... but ONLY made to be temporary... and seeing your doctor can help you... good luck, and keep talking to us.

By no means am I a Doctor, but my daughter has the same issues, she is currently on a anti anxiety medication, sounds like you have a social anxiety. My daughter use to pass out when she first started attending college. Therapy is a great help, now, sociallly she is florishing. I hope you can speak to someone soon and see what your options are.


Eleanora