My husband and I live in the state of Alabama. We found out he was the father of a 9 month old a few months after we met. Since we found out we have taken his ex girlfriend to court to get visitation with his child, have paid retroactive child support,and monthly child support. We have made a nice home and living situation for his child when he is visiting us. He has asked his child's mother if she would change his child's name to his last name and also asked for more visitation and she refuses. We know that without her consent we are unable to attain more visitation that the court gave us. His child is now 2 years old and we both would like to be able to call him by our last name. It means a lot to my husband to have his child carry on his last name but she still refuses. Do we have to have her permission? Is there a form we could file? How could we start that procedure?

About all you can do is petition the court where the case was originally entered for more visitation. Being as he is so young, I would not count on it. After he reaches school age, you will probably get more time, i.e. alternating christmas and spring breaks, half of summer vacation. If your husband's name was not on the birth certificate then I don't think there is anything you can do about the name change. He will be able to change it himself at 18 if he things that is the right thing to do.

For more visitation you would file a petition in court to revisit the custody and visitation arrangements. If things have been going well, chances are good that a judge will be sympathetic and at least hear your side.

As for the last name, if the birth mom is against it, there is not much chance of it happening. There is pretty much no compelling argument why it needs to happen.

"A rose by any other name..."