Hurt a friend with a guy she liked, and was hurt myself.
My friend thought a guy I had started talking to was really cute for a long time. But they didn't talk very much and only recently started talking when something stupid happened between me and that guy. He walked me back after a party and we were both really really drunk. Somehow we ended up hooking up but apparently for only a few minutes because we both realized it was wrong. Mind you, I was to the point where I had to be told what happened the next morning as I had no recollection and don't even really know. I know it's my fault for getting into that position, but you can't imagine how hurt and used I felt by that. He then proceeded to ask me if he owed me anything, and if I would be mad if he hooked up with my friend later. That made me feel even crappier. I can't believe I let that happen, but of course I feel like I was taken advantage of. After convincing me he actually liked my friend I decided to not tell anyone what happened for the sake of their relationship - he actually liked her. Of course the truth came out and now everyone hates me for it. Yes, I made a mistake and didn't tell them straight up when it happened but I wanted it to go away. Not telling anyone was my way of dealing with the humiliation I felt. I should have warned her about it but I hope she can see it's not completely my fault alone. It's just scary to wake up and not know what happened and to realize you were totally violated essentially. But this friend and all my other friends won't even talk to me. Everyone's judging me because they feel like I did it on purpose. Of course something must have happened even if I was drunk but I am NOT easy. I don't ever go that far with people I'm not in a serious relationship with, so I'm positive a hookup was not my intention. But how do I apologize and get people to hear me when all they do is judge? I can't pretend like I wasn't hurt at all, but I don't deny my errors and I accept my mistake of not telling her honestly initially. I don't expect complete forgiveness but I finally got over weeks of feeling horrible, crying and feeling used and now I'm being blamed as if it is my fault and that I did it maliciously. She's mad that I acted as if everything was okay, but what else was I supposed to do? Any advice as to what I should do, or how to deal? I know I'm a terrible person :(