Ask Me Help Desk - Get over an ex

I am quite depressed and shouldn't be me and my ex broke up about a year and a half ago but maitained our relationship we were pretty much still dating he told me to stay away from him I did but it always seemed like something brought us back so I decided to move away and about two months later he came to the same place I am and asks if he can stay with me and my parents he did for about a week until I caught him sending some naughty pictures (the reason we broke up) now its been about 3 months and he has a girlfriend now I am not some stupid girl I promise but I think about him all the time why? I don't want to I want to accept the fact that it is over I want to love myself enough to know I should not care but I do so much that it hurts every day even after this long. I iknow his bad points I do work out and go to school and hang out with my friends but why can't I shake this guy ( for the moment I saw him I knew I wanted to marry him I loved him and his family we dated for about 3 years) I know he has issues and if he asked I would never get back together with him so why can't I enjoy my life why do I keep hoping he will email me (cause I blocked his number :) ) Im afraid I don't want to let this ruin my life or any chances I have of being happy

Don't we all wish there was a quick fix for this? The answer your looking for, is time. It's not definitive, as it does vary from person to person. Your doing great what your doing now, you just need to completely cut your life out of his. NC.

When I have a thought about an ex, I immediately force my brain to think about something else. For example it could be a corn field, something I did in 3rd grade, something coming up. But if you keep changing the focus of your brain eventually it will quit focusing on what it keeps coming back to, which now its him.

Be patient you just need more time for the healing process to work for you.

Chuff is right though, as having a plan to change your focus when he pops in your mind helps.

I use to polish my Sunday shoes, and rearrange my albums, anything to get up, and get busy.

Unlike the miracle pill you want, all there is available is you, and some hard work.

Quote:

Originally Posted by forgiveyourself

i am quite depressed and shouldnt be me and my ex broke up about a year and a half ago but maitained our relationship we were pretty much still dating he told me to stay away from him i did but it always seemed like something brought us back so i decided to move away and about two months later he came to the same place i am and asks if he can stay with me and my parents he did for about a week until i caught him sending some naughty pictures (the reason we broke up) now its been about 3 months and he has a gf now i am not some stupid girl i promise but i think about him all the time why?? i dont want to i want to accept the fact that it is over i want to love myself enough to know i should not care but i do so much that it hurts every day even after this long. i iknow his bad points i do work out and go to school and hang out with my friends but why can't i shake this guy ( for the moment i saw him i knew i wanted to marry him i loved him and his family we dated for about 3 years) i know he has issues and if he asked i would never get back together with him so why can't i enjoy my life why do i keep hoping he will email me (cause i blocked his number :) ) Im afraid i dont want to let this ruin my life or any chances i have of being happy

It gets better with time.Just make sure you follow through with the nc. Its working for me.
Good Luck

I tell you, one thing I do when my ex pops into my mind, is go for a LONG walk, I mean hours. I walk until she is no longer there to think about. Exercising is one of the best ways to get your mind off something, and it helps build self confidence. Blair some loud music in your MP3 player and take it from there!