I'm 19 turning 20 and I was with my boyfriend for a year and a half before we decided to call it quits. Our relationship was a little complicated. We met at college and didn't live too far from each other while being at home. My boyfriend always respected my parents but my mom just didn't like him. He comes from a very poor, dysfunctional family. He and I care about each other a lot just seemed to argue often while being at home.We had a lot of issues that we worked on but couldn't take it anymore and broke up. Now that we took some space and time we both feel we want to give it one more shot and take it VERY slow to see what we have left in us. The breakup was kind of bad for we are both bitter and he did something not right to me, but gave me reasoning and apologized. My mom tells me he's not going anywhere in life and she doent like him he didn't treat me right etc and if he comes here she won't even say hello and she doesn't want to hear about it.(screaming this at me if I may add) My familys approval means a lot to me, but it is my life and if I want to make the same mistake twice I can. I never went back to an ex boyfriend before but I really love this guy. I just want her to accept it if me and him try it again. He's done a lot of changing and I'm hoping somehow a miracle can happen and they can see it. Help =[


were going back to school in 2 weeks which is when we will probably try again, I'm thinking of just not telling them in case it does not work.. and if it is working out I have to figure out what to do... no violence occurred. We were best friends. Just butt heads a lot. Nothing that can't be fixed.

Your mother is always going to look out for her little girl, no matter how old you are in her eyes you will still be her little baby.

I guess a lot would depend on what this guy has done to you in the past, if it has anything to do with violence then I would stay well clear of him.

Your old enough to be independent, and not tell your mom about your going back to your b/f. It remains to be seen if you'll stay together, but your entitled to try.

I think you are mature and smart enough to handle your situation you are 19 and have the right to make any decisions. Like you say take it really slow understand each other well and just be careful.. Love is blind...
Your mom will always want the best thing for you even if you think she is wrong... I was in a relationship when I was 18 and yes I was blind for 3 years I really thought everything was perfect I have a son with him and come to find out he was cheating on me all the time.. I did not forgive him and called it quits.. So I'm just trying to tell you that trust is the key to a healthy relationship.. I say try it out again and see what happens you are young so don't rush...

Your Mom should not be holding his past against him.

Perhaps the reason he was not very good at relationships was because he grew up in a dysfunctional family.

Clearly,that is not his fault.

Perhaps it took someone such as yourself to show him how to communicate and trust and develop qualities that will help him to maintain solid relationships.Change such as that does not happen overnight.

Your mother is not clairvoyant is she? Then she can't possibly predict that he will go no where in life.He is in college,so he is on a path to make a better life for himself.

You need to tell your Mom her approval is important to you but she needs to trust you and have faith that she raised you to make solid choices.
She also needs to realize the only way you will ever grow is to learn as we all do, by trial and error and if it doesn't work out then you have learned a lesson and you can use that experience in your future.

No one can teach you the tough lessons in life,we are a stubborn breed us humans and we must all learn the hard way.

I understand her concern,I am a mother to two grown sons and I have had to watch them make mistakes.But they did live and learn.

Perhaps the BF could write you Mom a letter and apologize for hurting you and her because when you hurt a child you hurt the parent as well.

Good luck!

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One of the reasons starting a lot of posts is confusing is that a clear picture cannot be made, and some even are fishing for what they want to hear.

The whole story between you and this fellow is needed, not just your no information version here.

How about sticking to one post with updates, instead of bringing another question about the same thing from a different angle.

That would help your responses tremendously.

Yes please give a brief summary so we do not have to sort through all these--https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search.php?searchid=3556940

Basically you and he need to determine if you two want to try again. Leave your mother out of it because they will always pick sides and then when you two are together it then feels like you have to give your loyalty to him and then you end up picking sides. I have seen it many times. Girl and guy break up, girl cries to mom, mom sides with daughter, daughter gets back with boyfriend and hates her mom for all the bad things she said about him when she was merely sticking up for her and not the boyfriend.

May I ask, why you two broke up in the first place and what he did to you, that your Mom is so against?