-Deep breath, release-
Whooo, okay. Here I go.
I have been in a long distance relationship for two years.
12.16.06<-- our date. (I'm stalling >_>)
He lives in Ohio, and I in California.
He came to see me last summer after 19 months of us dating, and we had the whole week together. First kiss, first date, bliss~
Well, we're hoping that he can come back again for a month this summer. We are both very smart, and cautious. And, we think we're ready to have sex.. We're both fifteen (he'll be sixteen in May) but we often make a game of talking about how idiotic teenagers can be. We've talked about this and we both know the rules,
Condom. For sure. No doubt. No exceptions. Safety first.
I really love him, and I know he loves me too. I really think we're ready.
I guess my biggest issue is that we don't see each other often. I trust him more then anyone. It's not that. I just wonder sometimes, is it because we don't share any physical intimacy (kissing, hugging, touching etc.) that we feel so ready for this? It's been two years, and I've only been able to actually see him face-to-face for a week.. I'm really nervous, but that's normal right? And, I know I'm young.. but it's how old you are in your mind that matters, not your actual age.

I'd appreciate all opinions on this. Teens, adults, anyone..
And feel free to ask me any questions, I'll be glad to answer..

What does Tortise 123 think

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Originally Posted by vexation

What does Tortise 123 think

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Please don't be sarcastic about this, all I want is some help..

Being liberal in my viewpoints, I don't see anything wrong with it as long as you are safe, and I don't think anyone here telling you not to do it is going to change your mind. Maybe take one extra step of precaution and go on a birth control pill of sorts if possible, then you should be OK with that and the condom.

I honestly don't understand what dating long distance is about, and I don't see where he travels alone to see you at 16, and is welcome in your house by your parents, so I need a lot more info, but at your age, I say NO! and so would your parents.

What makes you experienced or mature enough, to have adult, life changing experiences?

If your intense feelings of attraction, over rule good common sense that's not maturity, nor is it wise to experiment, but I do remember the feelings.

I also know that teems often mistake lust for love, or think that first love is forever, and it seldom is, so what do you expect from an adult? No way do you get a green light on having sex at your age.

I'm in a long distance relationship too. Have been for almost 3 years. We take turns visiting each other. I'm 18 and he's 19. We did have sex though. But I wouldn't suggest doing it at 15. In any other situation I would say that's all he wanted. But that wouldn't work in this because if that's all he wanted he wouldn't be in the long distance relationship. I do think you should wait. Maybe start with other things..

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Originally Posted by talaniman

I honestly don't understand what dating long distance is about, and I don't see where he travels alone to see you at 16, and is welcome in your house by your parents, so I need a lot more info

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Well, we met on the internet (lame sounding I know) and hit it off, and that was two years ago. We call each other every day.
Instead of getting a birthday gift last year, he asked if he could come see me. And surprisingly his parents let him. My mother is very accepting (now she is anyway) and she said he could sleep at our apartment for a week. I don't live with my dad, but I got his permission anyway. My parents know that I've been wanting to see him, and they decided it was fine. His parents are kind of.. traditional, but they thought he was being good and all, so why not.
I understand as well that often teens mistake love for lust, and often think their High School sweetheart is 'the one'.
One, there's not much lust since we don't see each other a lot. We talk, and that is enough to keep us feeling.. fulfilled.

Our emotional intimacy has been enough to help our relationship grow, and that's why we feel so ready.

And, we do understand the changes and risks of doing this. Like I said, we're using protection and being smart about this. And we know this is an 'adult thing' that can really mess thing up. But, we are both wise beyond our years.. We've experienced things that no one would expect a child to have to go through. This, has matured us a lot.

We really have given this thought!

We were a lone half the time when he came to see me last time, and I knew where mother hid the condoms, we could have had sex already.
But we didn't feel like we were ready that time.

I will disagree, and tell you this, as much as you feel love, lust is always just beneath the surface, charged by those youthful hormones, and just because you lacked the opportunity, doesn't mean its not there.

So know your exploring the lust, as the love will be there, without the sex, won't it?

Having sex also complicates ANY relationship, and changes your whole view of life, and the person your with, just read some of the stories here, of older, more mature people wondering where the love went, as the explored there lust.

Sorry, you both may be as mature as all get out, but inexperienced expressing your feelings, if all you can think of is celebrating being together with sex.

Same answer, no sex. Use your maturity to cope with those intense feelings, in a mature way.

What does maturity have to do with it any way? Your still just sneaking behind your parents back, doing what your hormones are telling you any way, just like any other mature teenager aren't you?

Well I might be a little too strict when it comes to sex at any age unless your marry. I have many many friends that make this mistake which are older than you, like 19, 20 and 21 yrs. And every time they break up with the guy they feel used and feel like a part of them is lost with the guy. There is no need to have sex at such a young age trust me on this one, are you doing it for pleasure?? For love?? What's the reason?? Don't get full by what you see around you or what you hear from people talking about it that its good or the best thing ever! He is so young that I doubt that he would make you feel any pleasure and you're so young that at the moment that you two are doing it you won't be able to take your mom out of your head. What happens if he leaves you shortly after you having sex with him? You are going to end up heart broken. I wish I could tell you better but seriously don't do it! You can get very close to him if you guys love each other like you said just by talking, going out or having lunch together. Its so much heathier for your heart and you life and you won't have no regrets.

Hi sweetie,
Just to let you know, I lost my virginity at age 14. It wasn't any pleasure in it. Not that we did it wrong but we were both virgins and very young, so we didn't know how to make it feel good. Afterwards, we realized it was a bad idea. It spoiled our enthusiasum for each other. We broke up 2 weeks after. We tried to stay friends but both of us couldn't help but feel a loss.
If you're going to do it, you're going to do it, regardless of what anybody says. If you do go through with it make sure you use more than just a condom, at least 2 forms of protection.
FYI - Main function of intercourse is REPRODUCTION.
There are other things that you can do to show affection for each other than sex of any kind... better things.;)
Try kisses behind the ears. Or the tip of your tongue on the back of his neck, right below the hair line - my favorite. :D
Please understand that the best part of adult sex is the foreplay.
Hold off on the sex, Slow it down, have fun.
The actual intercourse ins't the fun part, it's the little things you do to show affection that's fun.:cool:

Mom of 4 beautiful babies at age 29