Hi everyone, I am always shocked when someone is so rude to your face--at lunch with a co-worker(we are both RNs in a local hospital)--we are at lunch in our cafeteria. She just comes out and says she looked up my address and drove by my house and did not like it. She said "I thought you would be in something so much nicer , Karen". I didn't know what to say--so I said nothing--we are "forced" to go to lunch either 1st or 2nd lunch whether you like the people or not!--I didn't want to go all crabby on her cause I know I have to sit with her again. First of all my house--been married 25 years--we had a small starter home for a few years --moved into a bigger home--but nothing major like you see on tv--but I really like it--fits our budget and it will be paid off in 5 years. I never did get the house like you see on house hunters--but with the extra money we save --we have been on great vacations with our kids. What would you had said to this co-worker --I told my husband and he went balistic"what kind of nuts do you work with?"----Sherry is sort of nutso---she left her RN job to open a restaurant--had a affair with the bus boy--got dumped by her husband. If it happens again what is a smart --but clever answer to say?--Karen.

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Originally Posted by tiki49

Hi everyone, I am always shocked when someone is so rude to your face--at lunch with a co-worker(we are both RNs in a local hospital)--we are at lunch in our cafeteria. She just comes out and says she looked up my address and drove by my house and did not like it. She said "I thought you would be in something so much nicer , Karen". I didn't know what to say--so I said nothing--we are "forced" to go to lunch either 1st or 2nd lunch whether you like the people or not!--I didn't want to go all crabby on her cause I know I have to sit with her again. First of all my house--been married 25 years--we had a small starter home for a few years --moved into a bigger home--but nothing major like you see on tv--but I really like it--fits our budget and it will be paid off in 5 years. I never did get the house like you see on house hunters--but with the extra money we save --we have been on great vacations with our kids. What would you had said to this co-worker --I told my husband and he went balistic"what kind of nuts do you work with?"----Sherry is sorta nutso---she left her RN job to open a restaurant--had a affair with the bus boy--got dumped by her husband. If it happens again what is a smart --but clever answer to say?--Karen.

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I don't know how clever it is - and I have always found that clever backfires - but I have found that a level, cold, dead stare and, "Why?" or "Why do you ask?" or "Oh, really?" has a pretty good effect.

She was probably trying to get under you skin and make you embarrass yourself
In front of other people. Next time, you might try making a joke out of it by
Saying offhandedly something like, "It's isn't as nice as our other property, but it's
convenient to work." She probably won't do a background check. This
Reminds me of a few years back when my partner and I ran into a girl whom
I went to high school with and was in several of my classes. She was
With her husband and when she saw us, she said, "You're just a cop?" I
Thought you'd be a senator or something! I said, the next time you
Hear a window breaking in your house late at night, you be sure to
Call your senator about it~

I think you handled the situation tremendously well. Usually when someone does this kind of thing we stew over it later wishing we had said this or that or had some witty reply to shut them up and embarrass them for their bad taste. I probably would love to say something like.. you looked up my address and drove past?. luckily I am a considerate "friend" or you could be arrested for STALKING!
But I probably would say nothing and let her continue to embarrass herself in whatever way she chooses. (What kind of person does this anyway? ) She is not worth your worry as she will eventually prove herself to be a complete idiot to all she comes in contact with.

Clever always works for me.
I would have said something like, "Oh that's nice you are SO concerned about my well being that you go to the bother of looking up MY address and going out of your way to drive past. Maybe you would like to buy me a house you feel more suitable since it concerns you so much. I am touched, really really touched by your thoughtfulness.

Or simply say, ''You can buy me a much nicer one if you insist''.

I know myself and I would have said *how rude* of you to say that!

Then I would have teased her about looking up your addy and finding your house... *I didn't know you cared*. Embarrassed her right back I would have! How incredibly noisy!

Those witty comebacks are never there when we need them and afterward we can come up with so many.

I think you handled it with great aplomb and maybe(?) she was giving you a lopsided compliment. You are so classy that she expected the ritz or something...

Just ignore her, she doesn't have to live in your house, you do, and you like it. Who cares what someone else thinks?

Just walk away and forget about it.

There are people whose opinions matter and those who don't, if you don't respect her or like her, then why does her opinion matter?

Don't let it bother you, be the bigger person. :)

Its better to not even say anything.. who cares what some werido thinks about how you live. You sound like you are happy so what does it matter what she thinks.. she might have a nice house but you get to go to new places with the people you love so who really wins there?

I think JudyKTee's answer is a good one. I doubt that that will be the last question the co-worker will spew, and if you stop her now, you'll avoid being her victim in the future. She likely pulls this stuff without caring what others think, and who knows what she'll come up with next.

When you get a question like that next time, just say, "why do you ask", or "what makes you say that" or, "why do you need to know".

To not say anything gives her the advantage. To put HER on the defensive to back up what she's said, will quickly put a stop to it.

Don't say anything else, let her squirm a little, and walk away.