My mother for some reason hates me so much it hurts, she can't stand my face and has been telling me this from a very young age. I feel I've had a sad childhood, in my teens unless I was working and paying money at home she would ignore me and make life hell. Her not talking to me but giving extra attention to everyone else was hell enough. Always made me feel sick and suicidal. Almost 31 now and she's completely written me off. I can't stand not having her in my life but I feel recently she's been hunting and waiting for a reason to write me off and now she has done so. She's not a alcoholic or anything like that. She never takes money from me or use me for anything. And vice versa I nave take anything from her. Am not welcome in her house and shel slam doors in my face if I do go to see my sisters or brother. She just has plain simple hate and bag of spitefull words for me. I was really ill once and couldn't get out the bed for 3 days. She use to walk past my room slamming my door shut on me not caring at all. Its things like that I've had to put up for years. When I was around 13-14 she use to stop talking to me for weeks telling me it was because she didn't like the way I looked. She's always looked down at me and made me feel not good enuf for anything. I've made my mistakes to but it was more in reaction to her words and the way she was to me. But she holds me to those mistakes. She don't realise how she played a big role in messing up my head but does acknoledge that I am messed up. How can a mother hate her child so much??

OK, first off I would say its most likely not you.. its her. She has issues that were never dealt with. You NEED to go see a therapist. Absolutely MUST go. This will help you.

Here are some tips.. get a recommendation.. then go meet the therapist. If you don't feel an immediate "comfort" then find another. Its very important that you feel very comfortable or it won't help. Once you get yourself "fixed" you will understand its not your fault.

Your mother should go as well... most likely she won't. But once you get better, give it a shot.

Its not that easy as don't feel comfortable doing so. We lost our father few years back and I know my mum wants me to feel pain and regret the day she goes. I fear that day as it will destroy me. Pray that I die first. My mum yesterday told my sister never to ring my mum if I was at my sisters house whilst I was there, my mother is just as rude to my wife and treats her like dirt too. My mum is splitting our family up and seems to be more happier if none of us meet up (all us brothers and sisters). I feel like am loosin my family and this is my worst fear

I know you don't feel comfortable with going to a therapist. Its hard as hell to do. But it's a must. Its painful to bring it all up... but as I said.. it's a MUST. I lost both my parents - never dealt with it because of issues. I finally went. It sucked.. bad. But, now, after time has gone by... its SO MUCH BETTER. I feel so much lighter and happier!

Thank you

Don't take her actions personally, as she is a deeply disturbed person, and has been a long time.

Does she treat your siblings the same way?

Leave her alone , but watch from a safe distance, and work out how too see your siblings, without her knowledge.

So sorry for the sad situation, and the abuse you went through, through no fault of your own.

Work on coping with those feelings, by understanding she has deep problems that are beyond your help.

She may not be aware of the full extent of what she is doing.

Let me first start by saying I am very sorry for your situation.. seems like you had a very tough childhood

OK here goes, You can't continue to do the same thing and expect different results.. by you just sitting and mulling over all the horrible things she's done to you nothing is ever going to change.. you are just going to continue to be miserable

You need to break free the chains that she is holding you to.. and you can't do that without help..

You need to push your pride aside and get professional help.. why let her control your whole life even though your out of the house?
She is loving the power and control she has over you..

To save your life and your marriage, please please go see someone for help.

So sorry for what you are going through with your Mom. I can't even imagine treating a son like that from a young age, to an adult. I honestly would distance myself from her now. As you said you have a wife now, that is your frist priority. It sounds like your Mom wants to put guilt on you for some reason, and she is doing a good job of it. Please, go talk to a threapist, so you can get through this, you can't do it by yourself. Your Mom, has some serious issues. It's not you, its her! YOU can't fix the situation by yourself, you need help to do this.. Meanwhile, stay away, and let your siblings contact you, if they are living with her. Good luck.

Did you talk to her? Tell her what you think? Ask her what you done wrong and how can you improve...

Make sure you chose the right time. Mothers always love their kids, my mommy used to spank me when I made a B in school. I got mad, but then I realize, after an hour, she hugs me and say sorry. I told me that she's mad at something else and pour it on me.

Maybe your mom's mad at someone too...

I agree with the others she is miserable with herself and takes it out on you. You live your life the best you can and leave her in the past. I doubt there is anything going to change her to like you at this point. Get closer to your brothers and sisters and let go of her and the hurt. Be proud of you.

I am sorry that you have had to experience this horrible treatment from the one person we always should feel love and trust from.Our mothers.

It sounds like your mother is suffering from mental illness.This is irrational behavior and it is not your fault.

There is no mention of a father here,do you perhaps resemble your father ? Were you wanted at birth ?

Regardless of the reasons for her apparent dislike of you,it is her problem,not yours .

I know it hurts and my suggestion would be to move on with your life as it sounds as if she is never going to change.

You will always be sad over this but you can have a full life without her.

I think you would benefit from therapy if that is as all possible or if money is an issue ,perhaps there are support groups in your area.If not ,you may want to start one.From all this pain you may be able to help others and yourself in the process.

You need to have courage and strength to accept what you cannot change.You clearly can't change the past but you do have a say in your now.

I hope you find the peace you deserve.

Is your father in your life? Sadly to say from the sound of it it might be that you remind her of your father and she is turning all of her neagative feeling for him on you. Is it right, no but I've seen this happen.

My daughter put me through hell sometimes but I still love her and would never treat her the way your mother treated you.

Know that she might not never change and might not even see any wrong in the way she treated you because if you can treat someone like dirt, especially after you gave birth to them, something is wrong with that person.

The only thing you can do is seek help for yourself and know that you might never have a decent relationship with your mother but it's not your fault and in the end she is going to have to answer for all the wrong she did to you and later on in a life it going to eat her up inside.

My friend mothe recently passed away. Her mother treated her like crap but treated her sisters like queens throughout her whole childhood. But don't you know that when her mother was on her dying bed she was the only child that stood by her mother side and her sisters did nothing. I asked her how could she take care of her mother after the way she treated her own life by her and my friend told me even thought she was mistreated by her mom she is still her mom and she loves and forgive her. I thought she was a big person for stepping up doing what she did.

Hi, I'm hoping that some people have helped you out on here. Your mom sounds like maybe she has had a hard life and is putting all her problems out on you. I bet you are a amazing person and it don't matter whatt you look like every one needs to be loved! People say or do things they don't mean. Know matter what you have done in your past your own monther should not treat you like what she has been. Try not to let her get to you. Floow your dreams and do what you think is right don't let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. Maybe over time she will relize what she has doen.
Maybe write her a note tell her how you feel speck your mind but try not to sound like you are saying something bad about her put it into away that it don't sound like you hate her even though you proley do. Tell her what hearts, ask her some questions, tell her what she has done.
Notes always work for me I think you should try it. She might not read it at frist but it will always be there in words so when she wants to read it she can as were if you talk in person you might not beavil to speck your mind or say what you think.
I hope you can read this I can't spell the best hope this might work for you
Stacie

I just want to know if you do something bad why then do your parents have to hate you all of a sudden, but they love the second born and is all about getting what they want what I thought was that parents were supposed to forgive not whop your own child so I just want parents to start forgiving and stop whooping their children or at least pop us in the mouth. Sometimes my mom wants to back me run away or just jump off a bridge don't you sometimes?

If you have a parent that hits you like with a belt please post it on my page please!!

I know I well like my mom is putting me through her hard problems to I just want to sometimes run away so if you don't hear from me in a while then you will know where I am either in heaven or somewhere in California hopefuly thanks for understanding

My father isn't in my life either so maybe she misses him but she is dating somebody else and always talks smake about him sadly so she should just go and suck some or something sorry for my lanuage