I'm 26 years old and broke up with my girlfriend 5 months ago and I still think about her everyday and I do not know what to do. I dated her for a little over a year and a half and she was my first true love. I think about her everyday, every morning, and every night before I go to bed, for honestly 5 months. I have been with other women since, been active, but even after all of that she is the first thing I think about. She is 4 years younger then me and just started her first year of medical school. She is a beautiful girl and although I wish she was a little more mature I love who she is. Our relationship was always stressed I guess because she was in school and I lived and worked an hour away. One of the main stressors was that we were both in too different spots in life.. I worked and she was in school. We knew that med school was coming up and she was going to move even further away and start a whole new life, and we didn't know what was going to happen. I also was dealing with a lot of other stress in my life, whether it was stress at work, trying to find what I want to do, and other irresponsible decision making, there were a couple of times I was flat broke, not to mention I think the straw that broke the camels back was when we went on vacation and we had to put everything on her cc because I had no money... I paid her back the very next week. Its not like I'm a complete loser, I make good money 70K in sales but I'm not sure Im doing what I want to do and trying really figure it out and here she is going to med school to be a doctor. Simplistically without all the outside stressors I was so happy with her or maybe that is just a thought. When she initially went to school we were quasi broken up still talking really just wanted her to get set in school without dealing with relationship stress, although after about a month of her in school her feelings changed and really left me heart broken. Its hard for me to realize how you can love someone and really without any real cause fall out. After she told me her feelings changed I stopped talking to her, she kind of left it open that we could still talk and you never know down the road, but I couldn't deal with that because I'm too much of a mess so I just cut if off? And know all I do is think about her? Sorry for the lengthly message I would appreciate any insight?

My initial impression is that being your girlfriend was just kind of a roller coaster and exhausting and she didn't have the energy for it. A month away gave her the distance to realize that even though she loved you, you were too much of a distraction at a time when she needed to focus on med school.

I think you should focus on figuring out what you really want to do. You do not sound like a loser. (I paid for a vacation and my boyfriend did not pay me back the next week.) But you do sound like you are depressed or just unhappy with your life.

I think she was the one good thing, which is one reason you are so focused on her. But whether you ever get back together (and that seems unlikely, but who knows?) you really need to make your own life better so you are yourself happy with who you are and what you are doing. Otherwise, you might go through this again.

If you don't really like your sales work, what do you like to do? What else are you good at? Have you considered going back to school too?

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She was my first true love.

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Whether it's the first one or the tenth, breaking up sucks big-time. We all have to deal with it, and accept the fact it didn't work out. I agree with ASKING though, as she had other goals, and its tougher on you because not only is she the first, but your not very happy with your life at this time.

Focus and get busy with building a life that makes you happy and start do some good things for yourself and making the most of that good job you have.

Be patient with yourself, and get busy with your own life. You may be feeling down now, but it will pass.

I agree with TALANIMAN and ASKING you seem confused with your life. You don't really know what you want. I don't really know how to help you get over you ex because frankly I am having the same problem. The best that I have done is get rid of everything she gave me, that seemed to help a lot. I haven't been thinking about her recently and I don't know if you still have some things that she gave you but if you do then you should get rid of them. And if you don't like your job then find another one. But make sure that you find one before you quit your other job. Good luck man.

Since the break-up was over 5 months, you should be further in your recovery of getting over her but your stopping your own self by using negative words like "can't". Change your way of thinking by using positive words like "can". Say I can get over her.

When thoughts about your relationship with her enter your mind change your thought to something else. Don't hold on to that thought of her quickly change it. Your mind is the most powerful thing and it like TV. When your watching TV and don't like a show your watching, what do you do? Change the channel so this is what you need to do when you think of your ex, tone her out.

I agree with the advice given above and want to add that you really need to let go otherwise this can only lead to depression. If you need closure then write a good-bye letter to her, but don't mail it, then get rid of it. This might make you feel better. Also, I hope you don't have things around your house that reminds you of her, if so box the things up. This includes pictures, gifts, cards, etc.

You did the best thing by cutting off contact with her after the break-up so down it's time to heal. Life goes on and take your relationship with her as a learning process. We live and we learn and what don't kill us only makes us stronger.

There are a ton of things you can do. I mean, a ton. The one thing that I found works wonders was volunteering (including coming on here) and helping others out. Learning to love yourself, and learning to love to give to others, is a powerful medicine to cure self pitty, as self pitty can absolutely destroy us. I am your age, and have started to rebuild my life, so I know you can too. I am on month four, and of course I am not over her yet, but I am moving along and getting better EACH day. There are also really good books out there as well. Feel free to send me a message if you need other tips on how to move on. Good luck!

Yes, get yourself out there and do something!! Stay distracted. Find something fun and do it. I know how you feel. The samething happened to me (I'm 26 and my ex is 22). She went to Florida for a 6 month internship and broke up with me while she was still down there. Then ended up meeting someone else down there and "falling in love" with him.

I know how you feel.

By the way, are you from Baltimore?