I always hear that "The best revenge ever on the Ex that dumped you is simply, LIVING WELL". Do you agree ? Any comments on this ?
How can I let my ex know that I'm doing well without him if we're thousand miles apart ? Will he feel curious about me if I leave him in the dark and be silent so he cannot find out anything about me ?

The best way to let him know you are doing well is to not contact him at all. If he contacts you, then tell him how happy you are and all of that. Until that time, silence is best and just live your new happy life.

Lets understand that living well, and being happy, is what you strive for and whether, the ex knows about it is irrelevant.

Revenge is for losers, who can't, or won't let go! Losers never move beyond their own pain, and can never be happy.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Revenge is for losers, who can't, or wont let go!! Losers never move beyond their own pain, and can never be happy.

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Hi, moveon!

I especially agree with the above! I would just like to add that when it's over it's over and why would you want to spend any time or energy at all on this when your time and energy could be so much more pro-actively and positively spent in other ways?

Thanks!

I often hear giving your ex the silent treatment. Is that the same as n/c ?
My b/f broke up with me 3 months ago and we have no contact completely for 8 weeks. He did not acknowledge my birthday, when I sent him email & text to wish him Merry Xmas, he did not respond. Our breakup was not overly negative, and is not we grew out of love. I first initiated the breakup due to misunderstanding, I regret it, and wanted to get back together, but he didn't want to give us a second chance. We were together for 6 years, we love each other very much, but we just cannot be together anymore, he had to let go of the relationship is more for my sake and happiness. We still have feelings for each other even though we're apart. But I just don't understand how can he be so cold to me after the breakup ? How can he acts like this to someone that he has loved for so many years ?

He's like me, we'll still love you, and it just hurts being told that your seeing other people etc. so we avoid being told by just cutting you's out

We'll be ignorant fools, but dats us guys for you! Good luck hope I'm right

If he is your ex, he doesn't have to acknowledge your birthday. Maybe he's one of the guys on here that was totally crushed that his girlfriend broke up with him and we told him go No Contact. He's doing what he should be doing. Try to understand that contact between the two of you is going to make it harder on you both. Leave him alone

If you haven't had contact in 8 weeks, aren't you assuming what he is feeling?? Zoe is right, we tell those trying to heal, to cut contact with the ex, so they can heal their woundrd hearts..

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I first initiated the breakup due to misunderstanding, I regret it, and wanted to get back together,

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That misunderstanding and the way you handled it must have hurt him quite a bit.

Leave the guy alone, and learn from your impulsive behavior. That wasn't fair of you, now your paying the consequences of your assumptions (that your still making, I might add ) and presumptions.

Sorry for your loss.

It's been four weeks. He no longer holds interest. Leave him alone.

I'm feeling very sad today, I don't know why, the thought of my ex keeping coming to my head, I can't seem to shake it off. It has been 3 months since he broke up with me. I've tried almost everything to block the thought of him, I went out shopping, watched TV, listened to music, walked/played with my dog, talked to friends, etc... no help... I'm just not in the mood of doing anything tody, I don't feel like talking to anyone... I've tried so hard to think of all the reasons he wasn't good for me...

I thought I've been doing OK lately, although I still think of him everyday, but today the feeling of missing him so much is unbearable, I have the urge of contacting him... but I know I can't.

Please help me! How can I shake off the thought of him?? Why am I feeling this way??

It's so rough... we know. And unfortunately the only thing that will make it bearable is time.. lots and lots of time. You seem to be on the right track and you just need to understand that some days will be better than others. Appreciate these feelings you have and know that it shows that you can care deeply for someone. Just appreciate who you are and what you have to offer the world.

Post here and let it all out. It will help reading your words.

Have a break?
Go and book a small hoilday- something nice to look forward to

Change something in your life- join something new?

Make a plan about something you would really like to achieve and then go and do it with a target to look forward to.

Go to the spa and treat yourself- do your pedis and medicure, or go get a nice hair cut and do something different you like, go get a massage. SOmetimes you just have to do little things here and there to get you going for that moment.

For the long term thou- you will need to sit down and make real plans that will make a better change for you. That takes time and so don't worry about it now- say you will think of that in 4 months time?

I think a good hoilday- is a good thing- helps you see the world a bit more and just makes you glad you saw something nice- plus just think how great you will feel - the I am going to x place in 6 months time is a v good feeling to have

Its perfectly normal and natural to feel this way. Just accept the way you are feeling and do something nice for yourself, the feeling will subside again. You are doing really well by not contacting him.

I keep reading on this site about the NC thing... like u need to give your ex b/f time to miss you, and to give yourself time to heal... I agree with that, but I;m curious, I actually don't really think that they miss you at all... from the guys' perspective, do you ever think about your exes? Do guys move on faster?

It all depends on the relationship. A guy may break up with a girl knowing that she is not the person he is looking for and not think about her at all. On the other hand, the lady may break up with a guy when he thinks everything is good, and he'll think about her all the time and stay stuck in the why's , how's, maybes, and what ifs. It all depends on who's the breaker and who is the breakee.

If a guy really loves you, then he will constantly think of you while you are not around. I have been in this situation myself before and I tried to date other women but could not get my mind off her. I could not even hold hands with another. No matter how they looked, or the fun we had it just wasn't her. Once I had realized how ridiculus it was trying to fool myself into thinking I could move on with someone else, I started to pull myself together and paid more attention to what I knew I wanted. I'm glad to say that we got back together and we are both much more happier than we ever were.

Generally, guys who break up with girls don't think about the ex anymore unless they really cared about the girl. Same for girls breaking up with guys.

It's sad.

We are human beings first and I think humans all hurt the same .

How we differ in our reaction to pain is based on so many variables.

I have seen men who pine over a woman worse than any woman.But they hide it better.Its an ego thing.

A woman may be home eating ice cream and watching sad chick flicks while the guy is out drowning his sorrows in random affairs.

They may appear to move on faster but if you ever met a guy who feels he's been dumped on he carries it around forever.
The next girl pays a heavy penalty for the guy that got burned.

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Originally Posted by nike 1

If a guy really loves you, then he will constantly think of you while you are not around.

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What if it's the guy who broke up the relationship ? Will he still think of his ex and miss her ? Reason of breakup is not that he doesn't love her, it's just that it's best to end the relationship.

He may miss the person until he moves on with his life.