I've been with my boyfriend for about a year now, and we never fought or got on each others nerves or any of that. Last month he went to germany for 4 weeks, and I couldn't keep in contact with him. He came back and he seemed like a totally different person. He acted as if it was a hassle to talk to me and he won't even say he loves me now. When I talk to him now it just gets so awkward and I feel like I'm always trying to start conversations between us. I miss the time before he went to germany because I was always happy, but now that he's back and he's "different" I feel as though I'm always in tears and upset. I've tried talking to him about it and he gets all defensive and lays the blame on me.
Does anyone have any clue to what's going on here?

Why did he go to germany for 4 weeks?

Sounds abit like a guilt trip to me! :rolleyes: Why would get all defensive otherwise and blames it on you.. :cool:

I agree with Krs can you please provide a little more info.

He went with his soccer team because they played some tournaments there or something, lol

OK
And do u trust him completely to have been faithful in those 4 weeks?

From what you have been saying and posted IMO it seems that he is playing games with you!

I would be sitting down with him and having a good talk about where things are going between you both etc. I would start by telling him the way he is making you feel and making you cry all the time.

Express how you feel to him.
Tell him you want honest answers because you are NOT happy with his attitudes and the person he changed into.
Be adamant and be strong.

Leave this man alone. I know you want answers and he's not man enough to give them, so ignore him and his attitude and remove him from your life and heart. Don't mean to be harsh but his actions speak volumes as to his maturity and concern for you! Walk away and let him stew in his own.. Don't waste your time on this... boy. Whatever he says won't make a difference to your need to move on with your life.

Germany over the last couple of months was in the middle of the Soccer World Cup. It was huge. I was there. There were people from all over the world there and it was like one big party. I'm sure Chery can vouch for just how massive it was over there.
Perhaps this atmosphere and meeting many new people has put some doubts in his head about his relationship.
I'm sorry to say as such, but these things do happen. I can speak from expereince there.
Little trips away such as this can often lead to trouble in relationships if one partner is not completely committed and HONEST.
Do you think perhaps he has met someone else. Are there any signs leading to that??
I agree with Tal, you need to move on and ignore this fella for a while. That will be so hard for you but you need to concentrate on yourself.

I know its hard to face but he has clearly changed his mind and so you will need to change too. Trying to avoid that or postpone that will only make this worse for you. Actions speak loudly here. He has ended it with you, it seems, without having the courage to speak the actual words. That is terribly immature and very uncaring. Some part of you needs to be indignant that he would treat you so badly. You then shut the door on further bad treatment by shutting the door on him. Now that you know he is capable of that, taking more of it from him is on you, not him --- can you understand that? Retreat to your girlfriends and heal. It will take time and effort on your part. This is what self-respecting people do. And should he ever attempt to get back into your life, get a full understandable explanation for what he did with the appropriate genuine regret or you'll very likely get this treatment all over again. I am sorry for your loss.

Val,

That was great advice, tried to rep but had the spread.

Listen to this. As val said, lean on your friends during this hard time. Family and friends will help you.

Try and work on yourself as well. It might be hard just getting out of bed but you need to try and find things to do.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Welcome to the forum.
First off, I'd like to know a little more about your b/f... his age, his profession, is he a soldier, where in Germany, and for what?? The more information you give us, the more we can look at likelyhoods for his change. We don't see him, and don't know what he's like, so you need to tell us as much as you can.

We'll be glad to help, so please stop crying, and stay with us on this.

Hope to 'read' from you with a little more information, soon.
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