Ask Me Help Desk - What do I do?

I am scared of my life, I used to be really happy and loved the way that I looked. Any more I feel ugly and fat. I have three children but I do not feel fat because of them. I just stay in my room and sit in the dark. I fall asleep as early as 5:30pm. I am married to a man that does not complement me on how I look even when I dress up, but he is sure quick to notice other women and even women on TV. I hate that I am jealous of the women on TV and women in the world. I am afraid to have any friends due to me feeling like I am ugly and that my husband might look or something. I have never felt this way before and I do not like it. I have withdrawn myself so much I do not even like to leave the house. I do not want to feel like this anymore and I do not know what I want. If I get a complement I do not take it as if he is serious, we do not have sex, we do not kiss each other goodbye, nor do we sleep in the same room. I am afraid that he is only with me for the kids and that he does not want to be with me anymore I just can't take it anymore. :(
I feel as if I do not know myself any more and I want to find God and myself again. How can I love someone who says that they love me but I feel they really don't, how can I get passed my issues and become who I used to be?? A loving, caring, laughing person. I have not laughed in a long time. I gave up on our marriage and stopped loving all but my children. He makes me feel like no one else will want me with three kids. I feel so stupid, useless, I just want advice.

Quote:

Originally Posted by worriedmommy

I am scared of my life, I used to be really happy and loved the way that I looked. Any more I feel ugly and fat. I have three children but I do not feel fat because of them. I just stay in my room and sit in the dark. I fall asleep as early as 5:30pm. I am married to a man that does not complement me on how I look even when I dress up, but he is sure quick to notice other women and even women on tv. I hate that I am jealous of the women on tv and women in the world. I am afraid to have any friends due to me feeling like I am ugly and that my husband might look or something. I have never felt this way before and I do not like it. I have withdrawn myself so much I do not even like to leave the house. I do not want to feel like this anymore and I do not know what I want. If I get a complement I do not take it as if he is serious, we do not have sex, we do not kiss each other goodbye, nor do we sleep in the same room. I am afraid that he is only with me for the kids and that he does not want to be with me anymore i just can't take it anymore. :(
I feel as if I do not know myself any more and I want to find God and myself again. How can I love someone who says that they love me but I feel they really don't, how can I get passed my issues and become who I used to be???? A loving, caring, laughing person. I have not laughed in a long time. I gave up on our marriage and stopped loving all but my children. He makes me feel like no one else will want me with three kids. I feel so stupid, useless, I just want advice.

I have read your other threads and you have many issues at play here from your son's health problems to your cheating on your now husband and his attitude toward you.

I think you really do need to talk to a professional, either a Doctor, a social worker, someone.

Also - perhaps some of your posts could be combined to give a better picture of what is going on here.

You need to have a serious talk with your husband. Don't do it in a way where you are saying things like ''You don't... or you always... " Tell him how you feel about you from your own feelings.

Maybe if and when he is complimenting other women make comments like yeah I don't suppose I ever look that nice in a dress. I don't know if fishing for compliments would get him discussing the way you feel or make things worse though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I have read your other threads and you have many issues at play here from your son's health problems to your cheating on your now husband and his attitude toward you.

I think you really do need to talk to a professional, either a Doctor, a social worker, someone.

Also - perhaps some of your posts could be combined to give a better picture of what is going on here.

This is my first time doing this and we have sought help it was his idea.

Quote:

Originally Posted by N0help4u

You need to have a serious talk with your husband. Don't do it in a way where you are saying things like ''You don't....or you always...." Tell him how you feel about you from your own feelings.

Maybe if and when he is complimenting other women make comments like yeah I don't suppose I ever look that nice in a dress. I don't know if fishing for compliments would get him discussing the way you feel or make things worse though.

I have tried to tell him how I feel and all we ever do is fight. He says that he does not show emotions because he has lost all of them. His mother died when he was younger and I cheated on him before we were married. Why did he marry me if this is how it is going to be? I ask him that all the time. I do not like it when he stares at other woman and watch them leave. I try to hold back my feelings but they are always in the way, I then explode and do not know what to do, the only thing I can do is threaten to leave and then I always stay.

Quote:

Originally Posted by worriedmommy

this is my first time doing this and we have seeked help it was his idea.

You can't control anyone else. You can't control what he says/thinks/does. You need to talk to someone for yourself, not for the two of you as a couple, not to save your marriage.

If you have told him how you feel and he continues to ignore you then he is getting some sort of gratification out of his behavior and only he can stop the behavior.

You can control how you act and react. You need to talk to someone.