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-   -   Came on a little too strong (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=296840)

  • Dec 29, 2008, 05:38 PM
    Phydeux
    Came on a little too strong
    I was/is in a friends with benefits relationship with woman who I've been with twice so far. She is in the process of divorcing an abusive husband. The last time we were together I realized that I came on a little too strong and she has said something similar to her close friend of hers who also happens to be my brothers girlfriend. I haven't had much contact with her in the last month. I hope I haven't totally blown it with her. I have backed off completely since then, but should I also send her and e-mail to apoligize for coming on too strong and let her know that I will put more effort in respecting her space? Or will that just sound very in-secure? Don't really know what to do at this point.
  • Dec 29, 2008, 07:41 PM
    LifeChangesMan
    Um, so your sleeping with some guy's wife? Is that correct? Very immature and, disappointing. Because he's abusive doesn't make it okay for you to be with her either, so don't tell yourself that.

    I suggest backing off, leave her be, move on with your life, find someone who's single. There's an idea.

    Yours Truly,
    LCM
  • Dec 29, 2008, 08:26 PM
    Phydeux
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by LifeChangesMan View Post
    Um, so your sleeping with some guy's wife? is that correct? very immature and, disappointing. Because he's abusive doesn't make it okay for you to be with her either, so don't tell yourself that.

    I suggest backing off, leave her be, move on with your life, find someone who's single. there's an idea.

    Yours Truly,
    LCM

    She is already separated from him and living in her own place, it's just that the divorce is not final yet.
  • Dec 29, 2008, 10:24 PM
    magikman
    I hear you and I understand your predicament.

    I once got involved in a similar situation too, man. I started seeing a woman who was separated and living on her own - she was just waiting for the paperwork to finalize. I rejoiced when the decree finally arrived. It turned into a long-term relationship and it had its good times, I'll admit. But in the end, she never really got the recovery time she needed from the breakup of the marriage - and I suffered the consequences of that for several years.

    It's not what you want to hear, but my personal recommendation (based on my own experience) is to lay low and cool it off for a bit with this woman. She needs time to gather her thoughts and pull herself together. I wish I'd done the same so many years ago. She's not going to be emotionally available for you right now, and I think you might be walking into a world of disappointment.

    Either way, Good luck!
  • Dec 29, 2008, 10:27 PM
    talaniman
    Leave her alone, as your falling to fast, and to hard, for someone in a FWB relationship. What makes you think she is ready for anything serious at this point?? Playing this sex games doesn't take love, or loyalty, just willingness, and a bed, so back away, and get something more healthy than this convenient arrangement.

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