Ill start with this..

I'm 20. I was living in Toronto for 19 years of my life and I moved to Montreal right before I turned 20.

In Toronto in my high school I stopped talking to everybody that I used to hang out with. Everything got old and there was nothing left in the groups. Everybody split up.

I don't talk to anybody in my high school so when I graduated I took a year off and worked and did not have much social contact as I did in high school

I then applied to college in montreal and was accepted.

The colleges in montreal are nothing what they are in toronto and they are full of 17 year olds. I just happened to be accepted to a college far out of montreal and everybody in that school is from the way different areas of montreal

I don't have any friends in that school I hang out with on the weekdays or weekends. The people I know in that school are just school friends


I basically have nobody in montreal and toronto in terms of friends

I'm into all the cool things I dj I have ambitions but I have no met any people with the same passions as I have.


All I have in montreal is a girlfriend which I'm going through a really tough time right now with her wanting a break to think if she wants to be with me which is looking bleak.


If she decides our relationship is not working out then I have nobody.

I work a night club job and I don't have any friends in that job I hang out with

I sit in my room every day and never get to go out to parties.


I do actually know 1 person in this city I've hung out with but his crowed is different than what I'm used to and they all do drugs... etc... they are bums


So I have no friends in this city. If my girlfriend ends it fully then I won't be able to continue at my college I'm at now.

I'm in a pile of a mess

And I can't find my way out


I'm seriously depressed


All I want is my girlfriend back


I don't know what to do


I want to commit suicide but I'm to scared to.

First off, what you described to me is no reason to end your life. Secondly you need help. You should drop what you are doing and call 911, or whatever Canada's emergency response system is. You need help that having a few friends is not going to fix.
You will find people, especially at a school, and don't think you are a fish out of water there. I'm 43, my girlfriend (Yes I'm that way... ), is 56. We both go to the same school full of the idiot 17-20 year old crowd, who insist on coming to school high. If your girlfriend leaves you, guess what? You'll find another one. You DJ? I used to do that at radio stations. It's lonely working at one, especially during the evening shift. You make friends, mostly ones that want something from you, but you do. Try going to... I'm sorry I'm a quarter Canadian and I have no clue, being from Florida, what is up there. But try going to Barnes and Noble, or a similar bookstore that has tables and a coffee bar. I have met very interesting people from there.
But right now, what is important is you. Don't think at 20, you have nothing to live for. Call 911 and let others know what you are feeling. They can get you medical help for your depression.
This world is too full of tragedy right now. Please for your family, your girlfriend, and for little 'ol me, call someone and get help.
Hey if you want, email me.
Take care.

It does sounds like you have trouble making friends, at school or at work, you have to try and be friends,

But yes often getting involved and doing things is a first big step

But most colleges have a mental health department that the school nurse or school security department can help with. They can often get your professioal help.

I hate to tell you this, but suicide is a selfish move. Just think of your family. They may or may not be in Montreal (Didn't see varification) however, I know your family would be devastated to lose you.

Every person is important. If we weren't, why would we be here? Yes, that means even the terrible people, the best of people, and those of us between. We all have our lives to live for good reason.

You more than likely feel this way because of your girlfriend. And it's OK to be upset, but realize she's just one girl. You will find many more, some you will like less, some you will like more.

Taking things to a suicidal level is dangerous, and normally ends up hurting those around you more than you know. I had a kid in my high school commit suicide. Funny thing was, I took drivers ed. With him, and spoke to him a couple times. He seemed fine. He felt about the same way you did, and when we all found out he had committed suicide, we were all devastated. The year at school was never the same. Because fact of the matter was, he did have friends, whether he knew it or not.

I think if you simply get out more, be more assertive in public settings, you'll be fine.

Suicide isn't the number one option atall. You can feel like there is nobody for you in this world... I know that. But things will look up... I'm only 14 and I'm recovering from a second mental breakdown. I know where you are rightt now and I know where your mind is. But I promise you, you do have people out there and suicide isn't the road you want to take. Im sure you are a great guy and all you need is someone to express your feelings to. Talk to your doctor and ask for a referell to a psychiatrist getting your feelings out help and just knowing that there's a proffessional there that can help you is really reassuring. Hopee I've helpedd xx

Hey James? Let us know what's going on. I hate cliffhangers

Just remember suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem Get osme help

DON'T DO IT!

Problems can be solved. Eventually.
Death is permanent! Forever!
You died, you died forever. You cannot change your mind after you do it. Think about your people, who loves you. Think about your mommy and daddy... what will be of them when they found out they lost their baby? Huh? Ever think of that?

Your problems are temporary. It's nothing compare to your precious life!

Come on, don't be stupid, get help! YOU CAN DO IT!

(Sometimes you got to tell yourself that)

BTW. Every time you think about suicide, slap yourself across the face It help knocks that stupid idea off your mind... See? Trust me, it works.

P.S.

Do it hard.

Don't DO IT!!

You need help! No one should want to end their life, the world is yours!

I ma a Karate instructor and many people come to me to learn self defence, where they also learn dicipline helping them in life. Its also a good place to meet new people and punch/kick your troubles away.

Research has shown that your mind diverts of the subject if you are doing something active, not only will karate divert you but will also give you a sense of power.

Ok, first off I'm Bipolar.

I know what being depressed is like, I know how you feel like nothing in the world means anything. How you can't find the energy to move, and even a reason for being at all. Hopeless and lost, confused and angery (more with yourself than others.) and so many more terrible things.

The thing I'm a bit curious about is your ambitions?? Do you ever get really agitated or feel like you HAVE TO GO or DO SOMETHING? Get really talkative, friendly, and excited? This is a part of mania, and you may be Bi-polar too.

Now, to any one who thinks suicide is "SELFISH", Well duh! When you are depressed you are focusing on only your feelings and what you are. People who are depressed are already more hard on themselves than you can ever be, unless your depressed to, so please STOP SAYING THAT!! It's not helpful, all it does is make me want to kill myself even more. I started cutting because people told me that, so just don't OK, WE know. Sorry, but enough is enough, we're not stupid, just dealing with something very complex.

Ok, now to talk about you issuse with depression. Yes, seek a DOCTOR, PSYCHATRIST, COUNSELER, and tell you girl friend what's going on. Let her know you may not be yourself, because when Depression hits, you are not yourself, same with mania. You become disconnected from yourself, and can't react to things the way you normally should. This is not to say you have no self control, because you do.

Find information on the kind of depression you have. Can be seasonal depression, bipolar-1 or 2, Depression. The important thing is that you keep reminding yourself that there is a way out, to "feel better". It is not permanent like it feels to be, it can be managed and dealt with. It may never go away, but it won't stop you from having a good life.

At any rate, go get PROFETIONAL help. And get a working diagnosis, may take a while, but once your on that stick with it. A doctor is a start but a psychiatrist is better for this kind of thing, they specialize in this area, and can figure out what drugs will work for you or make oyu off the wall. And yes it will take time to find the right drugs and then the right dose, then you'll probably need theropy to learn to cope with "episodes".

Good luck brother. And it gets better. Try learning about it and keep trying to get better.

P.S. Mental illness is no less real that a broken limb, or a cut on your leg. It requires different means to heal though.