Hi all,

Here's the situation.

I am a mid 30's male. She is mid 30's too. (divorced with 2 kids).

We got along very well for 1 year. Then, she discovered she was facing some major financial challenges: her divorce settlement she had all but gone through and was in nursing school. So, had another year before she had a safety net. And she panicked I didn't hear from her for a couple days, and then she said "I need to go through this by myself, I think. I am not sure why, but I think only way I can handle this right now..."

I said OK.

3 months later I got a missed call on my phone. It was her. There was no message. So, I didn't call back. It was the hardest thing I ever did and it was not a fun holiday - and perhaps not great for her either... Still, I am uncertain, if she was depressed or embarrassed or just determined to get her life right could she have said something? So- I ask this:

1. should I have called back?
2. should I be insulted?
3. Is there anything I should have done?
4. Or just it...

Thoughts?

She asked for space and you gave it to her, now it all depends on you, if you want to try it again than call her and see what happens, or you just don't call and move on, it really all depends on how you feel about her

So, does a call with no message constitute a break of "space"?

Was the financial the only problem?

I'm not saying call her back.. But it's possible that she had a lot to say and didn't know how to say it or where to begin in a message.. got flustered and hung up.

If you called her- what is it you expect or would like to have happen? Where were your emotions prior to her call?

a la king:

Other issues?
Just being a single mom and not wanting to repeat her marrital-mistake.

Our relationship was the only one I've ever been in where the other person was always making protective space... we broke up once before but it wrecked us both... and until the financial mess it was working all things considered.

My hesitancy to call is that with 3 months off I would think she could form a sentence. Or if she hung up she thought it was enough of a "smoke signal" and that if I wanted to come it was up to me.

If she has someone else in her life that would be a body blow I am not ready to risk- so I stayed away for that too I guess...

My emotions prior to call? Missing her. But trying to stay busy and consider that she may not be the one... though, dating others has done nothing to convince me yet.

I am just going to point out the confusion, and assumptions, a missed phone call has put you through.

Call her, and see where her head is, and be prepared for a stomach punch. Or walk away, and forget the past.

Just me, it seems like she kept space to protect herself, given her history. That's understandable.

Yes, confusion...
Stomach punch indeed. I think fear is driving me after being in limbo for such a period. Our bond was strong but she is fearful. And sure she feels some dichotomy too, even if scared... ugh.

Something is holding you back. Maybe this break was for a reason.
Or maybe you just are afraid you are replaceable... don't think of it that way... happiness is when we are ourselves. If you can be that - call her.
If not, let it go...