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-   -   Meant to be or not? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=295648)

  • Dec 25, 2008, 01:47 PM
    Gogga
    Meant to be or not?
    Hi there all, I'm a 20 year old male, going for my 3rd year at varsity. Not sure if I'm in the right catergory anyway... Theres this girl that's been studying with me since my first year, she is extremely attractive and intelligent, at first I never noticed her because I had a girlfriend at the time of 4 years and 6 months, so I wasn't really interested in anyone else at the moment, my girlfriend and I broke up closer to my 2nd year, then all of a sudden I started noticing this girl... lets call her amy, she approached me in 1st year and had a brief chat but never exchanged names and I didn't think anything of it, but now all of a sudden I'm having constant thoughts of her, for the past year and a halve I've just been thinking about her, and I mean really that's all I think about when I'm alone!

    I really can't tell if amy is interested in me or not, I just have this feeling that we belong together, like love at first sight! No the thing is since I broke up with my ex its like I've lost my confidence talking to girls, I'm normally a very quiet guy but not shy, every time amy walks into the class or near me its like I have an IQ of 10 and my heart just beats out of my chest, I can never get her alone as she is always with her friends, and even I get her alone I wouldn't know what to say or how to keep a conversation going! Like 2 months ago my mates and I went to a club and all of sudden I feel this hand rubbing up against my lower back and it was amy, so I turned around and gave her a hug(being confident=intoxicated), and like I said IQ dropping to 10, just left it there and she dissappeared, I'm not really a risk taker I like having guarantees in life!

    I don't really know her, I know a couple of her friends she's with all the time, but we don't have anything in common so I can't talk to them to get closer to her, I'm afraid that I've left it too long and I might not have a chance with her, but it still seems that she glances at me often, might be my imagination messing with me! Im really confused and I think extremely in love... please give me advise on what I should do and approach this whole situation, because I'm starting to lose my mind!! thanks
  • Dec 25, 2008, 03:18 PM
    jmw0713

    Sometimes you have to realize that you have to take chances in life. You will never know where things go unless you try.

    Go up to her say "Hi" and ask her a general question about something and go from there. Don't come off as needy or overly interested, just light and friendly. Then take things from there. Make her laugh if you can.

    I know it's difficult when your REALLY attracted to someone, but you have to do your best to control your thoughts and your fear. She is not going to reject you in disgust as you already know her, some what. Just go to her and ask her out for coffee or lunch. It's not too formal, like dinner, and you can keep things light and get to know her more at the same time.

    Also remember, if is doesn't work, you didn't gain anything... but you didn't loose anything either. You're starting at the bottom.. it's time to take that first step up.

    Good Luck!
  • Dec 25, 2008, 04:29 PM
    tree_rex
    A lot of beautiful, intelligent girls don't get the attention that regular girls do! I know this sounds vain, but I'm a 6'1 part time model and full time psychology major at a big ten university. I'll tell you that I NEVER got asked out on date until college, and even now, guys usually don't say squat to me! It's disheartening. So talk to her! Make a fool of yourself, it's OK! Chances are, she may be noticing you too.. but hoping you'll say something to her. And if you don't, chances are it'll never happen! So give it a try.. it's worth a shot. Just make small talk about the class, tease her about smarts, tell her she looks nice. Just smile and be yourself!
  • Dec 25, 2008, 04:44 PM
    jmw0713

    Hi tree_rex!! How are YOU doing?

    Are you one of the hand models I always see in those department store adds?;)



    I totally agree with her. Go, take the chance and ask her out!
  • Dec 25, 2008, 05:00 PM
    kctiger

    Some of the greatest things that have ever happened to me are because of chances I took... I have made a living making a fool of myself, so go for it. You will be surprised how many good things can happen if you just have the courage to do it. Good luck buddy!
  • Dec 25, 2008, 07:53 PM
    liz28

    This might seem lame but you can ask her out to lunch or maybe even coffee. Nowadays everyone goes to Starbucks just to sit around with a warm drink. I am not a coffee drinker but I love their hot chocolate.

    She can even say yes or no but at least you gave it a shot and won't be wandering years later what could've happen. Life is all about chances and risks.
  • Dec 25, 2008, 08:34 PM
    talaniman

    Either talk to the girl, or go crazy.

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