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-   -   Breaking Up. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=295579)

  • Dec 25, 2008, 07:18 AM
    GDArtist
    Breaking Up.
    Question out there... in every relationship... Do people at least break up once? To make sure they are making the right choices? I am trying to justify a break-up between two people that love each other.
  • Dec 25, 2008, 07:19 AM
    kctiger

    I am, and always will be, of the opinion that if two people truly love each other they don't need to break up to validate it. Love is supposed to keep you together, not push you apart. Merry Christmas to you sir!
  • Dec 25, 2008, 07:44 AM
    GDArtist

    Thank you for your response. He just got out of a divorce, we met while he was in the divorce... we fell for each other... 3-4 weeks ago, he said he had to have space to figure things out... that he wasn't dating anyone, or going too. I've done the no contact rule. He has called me - several times, wanting to see me, using the excuse of bringing back my jacket... or brining me my clothes... he still has my belongings at his house. I haven't got them back yet. We love each other... I know he is thinking about me 24/7 like I am him. Anyway, I hope he still loves me. He says he needs to get the demons out, and that God will bring us back together. 5 weeks ago he broke up with me, and that night, fate brought us back together, and he held me all night long... and put my christmas lights up, took me to a movie... and couldn't stop touching me... Then the following week, his X wife broke in his house while he was out of town and took things she wanted, he freaked out... the same week, he let me come in the house, gave me a key to check on his house, fix up his christmas tree! It just isn't right... I believe God or fate or whatever will - I love him so... it's Christmas... I am praying for a miracle. I have been divorced 4 years, he's been divorced 6 weeks.
  • Dec 25, 2008, 07:46 AM
    kctiger

    You sound like an incredible person. Just have faith that things will work out... they always do! I believe that, and I believe you will find the happiness you are looking for. :)
  • Dec 25, 2008, 08:47 AM
    talaniman

    He does need time, and you have to give it to him, and not push, as he has to regroup. Make sure you keep your life balanced with other things, and keep your expectations real, as fair warning, Fresh from a divorce his feeling are all over the place, and no telling where they will end up. Maybe you don't want to hear it, but go very slow at this point.
  • Dec 25, 2008, 09:30 AM
    GDArtist

    Thank you so much... I really miss him
  • Dec 25, 2008, 09:31 AM
    GDArtist

    God Bless you people on this day...
    For helping other's cope through their
    Heart-filled situations...
  • Dec 25, 2008, 09:54 AM
    ISneezeFunny

    I agree with tal in that he needs time to get over the divorce. 6 weeks after a breakup is too soon to get into a relationship, much less 6 weeks after a divorce.

    Give him time, and you, spend your holidays with the people you love.
  • Dec 25, 2008, 10:12 AM
    GDArtist

    Thank you so much... I am cooking a huge dinner... want to join us? I have 5 of the most awesome children... one is a mayor of a city, one becoming a doctor, one becoming a nurse, and two still at home.

    God Bless you.
  • Dec 25, 2008, 10:28 AM
    LifeChangesMan
    Hey hey,

    Happy holidays!

    Yeah, KC and Tal pretty much have this one covered, but definitely just give him some space, and needs to clear his head, while the break up once thing, I would say in your youth 18 - 24ish, I could see it as being very vital to a relationship because at some point I'm sure curiosity would set in if you've only been with one person. While the older you are I don't suppose you need to, your mature enough to make a life decision, and should already know that your spouse is the best thing out there for you.

    I wish you and your family the best today!

    Yours Truly,
    LCM
  • Dec 25, 2008, 07:58 PM
    GDArtist

    I appreciate all of your advice. This situation is just so hard, wish he would have called me today... it's christmas. I believe he wants me to call him. I am normally not on a pity party, and will not give into the no contact rules! He did call me Friday night... wondering what I was doing... It's just the holidays are so hard without him... he made a point to tell me he wasn't seeing anyone, or dating anyone, several times over. I honestly believe he is telling me the truth.

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