I think the best way to present the facts is in bullet form.

1.Father has not worked since 1993, when he broke his arm.
2.Mother passed away in 1999. All her assets went to the Father.
3.Father collected SS benefits for himself and two children after mother's death. All the money went into his personal bank account, since children were underage.
4.Father collected damages from his 1993 workplace accident sometime after year 2000. All money went into his personal account.
5.Father bought himself, for cash, a house and automobiles. He has been living off the SS benefits and interest income.
6.Daughter is now 18, and Son is 21. Father insists he owes them absolutely nothing since they are adults.

Father has indeed provided food and shelter to his children until the age of 18, but certainly not to the level of money he was paid. He will not provide money for any other things, such as clothing, a car, or college expenses. He refuses to even buy food for the household. Both children are full-time students, and not currently working.

I am the son. I wish to recover a portion of my mother's money, the SS benefits that were entitled to me, and anything that can help me live on my own.

Thank you very kindly for your help.

Your father has not been generous, but he legally inherited from your mother and I would be surprised if you were entitled too much.

You sound clear headed and articulate. Rather than suing your father, I think you should make your own way in the world and look to the future instead of dwelling on the past.

In some ways I'm very sympathetic. My mother died when I was 14 and my father refused to help me through college, even though I know my mother would have helped me with tuition and books at least. A lawsuit is not going to get you enough to change your life, but suing your own father will forever alienate both of you and leave a bitter taste in your mouth.

I would recommend against it. Move on. If you can help your sister a little, that would be a good goal and would bring your closer. Good to have a friend in life.

I see nothing that you can sue for. He inherited your mothers estate, and unless there was a will or some state law that said you were to get a percentage or a sum, he would normally get it.
And yes he receives SS benefits on the children to pay for their care, home, electric, food, school.

I just see no reason for a law suit.

Your question is not complex. I'm sorry but you don't get to recover anything.

You don't get to question how your parent spent money on you and you certainly have no right to recover anything your mom left your dad.

In many states (like California) you are not even entitled to be supported any longer by your dad, college plans or not. You sister might be if she's still a full time high school student but only until she finishes school or reaches 19.

I was not aware that a parent is obligated to buy a child a car. My parents never bought me a car. I bought it with my own money. As far as college is concerned, your parent is not obligated to send you to college either. You are now an adult. You need to make your own way in the world and not expect handouts from anyone just because you are their son. Sorry. I don't see you successfully suing your miser father as pittiful as you make him sound.

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Originally Posted by twinkiedooter

My parents never bought me a car. I bought it with my own money. As far as college is concerned, your parent is not obligated to send you to college either.

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True. A college education is not an entitlement.

My father did buy me a $300 car when I was 23, after college. So I was happy about that.

But when I got accepted at a good state university when I was 17, my father said I could not go and refused to help me. I did not get so much as a typewriter or anything I'd need for college. Eventually, after I'd been working my way through college for five years, his friends pressured him to help me, so he helped me in my last six months, when it was obvious I was going to graduate with or without him. I could never get financial aid either because he kept claiming me as a dependent. But you know what? I'm proud of getting through with minimal help. It made me a tougher, more independent person than I would have been, so it was not all bad.

PS.

For a while, my five nieces and nephews were all angry with their mother for not putting them through college. They also thought that both of their aunts (my other sister and me) had had their college expenses paid. They were amazed to learn that no one in the family got that--except my father, whose mother hocked her wedding ring every year to pay his tuition in the 1930s. For some reason, he had no desire to return the favor to his children or grand children. My older sister, the one with 5 kids (who all put themselves through college) is now putting herself through college. She is nearly done and 60 years old.

I'm just saying all this to show that a LOT of people work their way through. It's something to be proud of and people in the world will give you credit for it.

My parents divorced when I was 12. My father never paid any child support. Zero. Then when I was an adult some 40 years later he "gave" me $1,000 and insisted that I pay it back. Go figure.

My father did buy me a $300 car when I was 23, after college. So I was happy about that.

LOL. I guess I did better than that. I got a '63 VW with a smashed up rear fender, a hand-me-down in the family that was my older sister's (my dad bought it for her for $400). She banged the finder rounding a corner coming home from some party one night and I ended up with the car. But I was happy to have it.

Also, I worked in high school (my last year) and paid for my own gas and gave my dad money for my car insurance! And I was only 17.

So I don't understand kids whining today about not getting a free college education from their parents or saying their parents should have spent more money on them.

I've paid for every car I've owned, as well as my insurance, gas, etc. Not sure why kids these days feel they're "owed" a car or a college education.

I'm still snickering that a 21-year-old wants Daddy to buy him clothes... have we heard of getting a job?

In defense of all the goings on if things really should start at 18 like it did for most of us then why are more and more states pushing for child support well beyond age of 18 ( emancipation in most states ) to 21 or beyond ?
Indiana and New York come to mind. New York IS 21 and Indiana keeps floating between the 2 ages of 18 and 21.

In defense of all the goings on if things really should start off at 18 like it did for most of us then why are more and more states pushing for child support well beyond age of 18 ( emancipation in most states ) to 21 or beyond ?
Indiana and New York come to mind. New York IS 21 and Indiana keeps floating between the 2 ages of 18 and 21.

I'm not aware of any controversy going on anywhere about extending child support beyond the existing statutory age, as you know 18 (and finishing high school) in California, and 21 or so in others, depending upon college, etc. In fact, I think the weight of opinion is that support ought to be cut back to 18 (in places where it is greater than 18) for the reasons expressed here.

I spoke with a judge about this issue just last week at a party and he was very much against college level support. When you think about it, why should kids be entitled to college support anyway? Why can't they pay their own way after reaching the age of majority? Why can't they work and go to college (and don't say college is too demanding... that's a joke).

Child support collection is so burdensome and costly as it is, I can't imagine making parents support their adult (18+) year old children unless they want to. Most of us never got support after hitting 18 and finishing high school and we did just fine. Some of us had parents who just couldn't afford college for us so we had to find a way to pay for it ourselves. Or some of us had parents who chose to pay off the house instead of supporting us in college. And that should be okay. People should have the right to make these decisions for themselves, not have it forced on them by law.

asking agrees: hahahaha! No clue, eh?

Sure I know why... he's a jacka$$ miser who'd rather spend the money on himself. He must be 92 by now. I wouldn't know as I haven't spoken to him in 10 years. Maybe I'll wait another 10 years and call him up and see if he answers the phone and tell him I mailed a check for $1,000 back to him. That should perk up his day (if he's still around in 10 years).

Yes, if both parents were still married and there was no support agreement, the parents have no obligation to pay for college.

If they were to have rights to support for college, it would appear to be fair for a child of a mom and dad who are still married to sue them for college money if they wanted to go??

And Seeking - I re-read your OP and I think you have a bad case of you are annoyed that YOU didn't win the disability lottery like daddy did. How he milked a broken arm into the disability lottery is unreal. He's a real operator, that's for sure. Maybe you need to pay closer attention to how daddy's made HIS money so you too can win big at the disability lottery and never have to work a day again in your life. But first you need to get a job and work at it for a few years just to make it look good. Just a thought.

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Originally Posted by twinkiedooter

asking agrees: hahahaha! No clue, eh?

Sure I know why..... he's a jacka$$ miser who'd rather spend the money on himself. He must be 92 by now. I wouldn't know as I haven't spoken to him in 10 years. Maybe I'll wait another 10 years and call him up and see if he answers the phone and tell him I mailed a check for $1,000 back to him. That should perk up his day (if he's still around in 10 years).

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I meant HE has no clue. I was not laughing at you, just to be clear.

Asking - Thanks. Kind of thought so but I just wanted to further my little story a bit. Hey, with a wonderful dad like him not being around look how I turned out having to do this whole thing on my own. I was thinking of sending it back in pennies but the postage would be a killer. Maybe one dollar bills instead.

Peugot 403.