My husband and I have been married for 6 years. In November 08 he wanted for us to separate. I moved out and filed for divorce. We are in the process of our divorce and have joint custody (7 days on and 7days off) of our 5 year old daughter. I miss him very much. He asked last year for a separation and it only lasted one week. This time it has lasted almost a month. He text me at night time wanting to come over and now they have stopped. I did everything for my husband. I cleaned, cooked, did everything for him. I supported his racing. I was there for him every weekend supporting him. He says hurtful things to me like he he only married me because I got pregnant, that he loves me but was never in love with me. Of our six years of marriage, he always told me several times a day that he loved me. When we were on the phone, he would never hang up without telling me he loved me. I feel like him and I are meant to be together. His mom says that he is just like his father. She said that there was a time, when he left for a year and left her with the kids, and after getting I guess all of his running around done, he wanted to come back and they are still to this day together. He will text me questions about certain things and when I answer him, he text back always saying thank you. He is always telling me how sorry he is for him and I but then on the other hand will tell me that there will never be another him and I. He will say why can't we just hang out and then text me and say he is sorry for bothering me. I do not want this divorce. I want my marriage and my family. I don't know if there is hope, if he really means that this marriage is over, if he is dealing with a mid life crisis, or if he really does not know what he wants. Will he be back? He is 33 and so am I. He always told me that he never believed in divorce and that all he ever wanted was a family and he is so willing to throw it away. I also found out this weekend that he brought another woman to a party and told me that meant nothing.

Ask him point blank if he is ready to commit 100% to his family or not. If he is, then the wasting of money on racing has to stop, he MUST get into counseling and start acting like a man with a family. Hobbies are fine IF there is enough money left over for them. But family and his financial obligations MUST come first.
If he is not ready to commit 100% to the family unit, then I guess your marriage is over and you need to decide them what and how to proceed.

Why did you file for divorce so fast ?

I filed for divorce because it seemed like every year he would want a divorce or I would catch him calling other women on his cell phone. I guess I got to the point that it became an every year thing that I could not take it anymore. I wanted him to know that if this what he wanted that I was tired of having my heart hurt each year and so I decided that if this is what he really wanted then I would give it to him. We have been separated a little over a month. Do I wish he would come back yes, but I am not going to beg someone to love me and be with me. The only thing that I wish would stop is the txt at night time. Some nights, I do good because there is nothing but then there are nights like last night that he text and said just think if you would have ever had fun we would still be together... I just don't understand. I am giving him what he wanted, why not just leave me alone.

Simple solution to the text messaging junk. Cancel your subscription! Or simply delete any and all messages from him.

I'd call my cell phone company and ask if there is a way to block incoming text messages. Or just block his number and give him access to a land line that therefore cannot receive text messages.

It sounds (just from what you've said) like this man is not looking out for your best interests. If he loved you, he'd be home with you and not out running around. So sure, you could wait around for a year or two to see if he is just sowing some wild oats. But do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a man who valued your feelings so little?

Don't waste time on the text thing, I don't believe ANY cell service will offer you any option for text control other than taking text service completely off your account, 100%. And that works. So I'd do it. If someone wants to call you, they can call.

You should be able to program a custom ring tone for each person in your phone, so put in a custom "silent" ring tone so you aren't bothered when he tries to call you.

You need a divorce.