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-   -   He doesn't drive and I do. Should I travel to him? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=294422)

  • Dec 21, 2008, 09:40 AM
    annsumm
    He doesn't drive and I do. Should I travel to him?
    I met a new guy, I really like him and I get the feeling he likes me too. We met up last week half way between my house and his (we live about 10 miles apart). My problem is that he doesn't drive and relies on public transport to get around. I do drive, I don't mind driving and I feel a bit obliged to go pick him up, even though he hasn't asked me to.
    What does everyone think about this? I haven't suggested or mentioned it yet because Ive never dated someone whereby I have to be the one doing the collecting and dropping off! I just don't want to get into the habit and then it be expected of me but I really like the guy. Just not sure how to handle the situation. Thanks.
  • Dec 21, 2008, 09:46 AM
    KBC

    He doesn't drive because?

    If you state the situation clearly,right from the get go,and he understands your boundary,it should be settled.

    Communication has to be mutual.If he expects you to do it,you have to decide if he is worth the effort,time,gas... etc. or find alternative on how to get together.
  • Dec 21, 2008, 09:49 AM
    TrueFaith

    Talk to him about your feelings.

    And how you don't want to make this a habit.

    Maybe he can take a buss down to where you live once in a while?
  • Dec 21, 2008, 10:25 AM
    talaniman
    How emotionally invested are you with this guy and for how long have you known him?
  • Dec 21, 2008, 11:11 AM
    annsumm

    Ive only known him about two weeks, not emotionally invested at all. He said he doesn't drive because he has just never got round to taking lessons and hasn't had the need to. We are both in our thirties, if that helps.
  • Dec 21, 2008, 11:13 AM
    KBC

    Never got around?No responsibility there,might not be a keeper that one.
  • Dec 21, 2008, 11:26 AM
    TrueFaith

    He works though and lives by himself yes? Must admit I'm 26 and I have just started to learn to drive.

    Reasons I could not do it. Because I worked on yachts for most of my life now need the car for work.
  • Dec 21, 2008, 11:41 AM
    annsumm

    He works a 5 minute walk from his place and yes he does have his own place. Thoughts about why he hasn't learned did cross my mind but I am trying to to prejudge him!
  • Dec 21, 2008, 11:42 AM
    KBC

    Different I am sure Truefaith.

    You were out to sea... etc. this guy sounds like he is landbound and just not into the responsibilities involved in driving,, you know, insurance,upkeep.. etc.

    But who knows I could be wrong,, I was once,the day I said "I do" :D

    EDIT: afterthought,if he has lived that close to work for the past how many years?(however long he has been able to have a license)It doesn't require a person to OWN a car,just to get a license.(much less the ID which it provides)
  • Dec 21, 2008, 11:59 AM
    talaniman

    Let him catch the bus. I think there is a lot more to learn about this fellow, so do it at a distance.
  • Dec 21, 2008, 12:36 PM
    TrueFaith

    I agree let him ctach the buss every now and then.

    Just tell him kindly mind catching the buss today?

    If he likes you he will do it ;)

    I spent 12 hours on a chicken buss in mexico to go see my girl. (worst thing ever!)
    But it was worth it to see her.

    Awww! Smoopy!
  • Dec 21, 2008, 01:03 PM
    sully123

    I would certainly be a little leary of this guy. There might be more to it..

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