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-   -   My fiancˇ's grandmother won't backdown! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=294336)

  • Dec 21, 2008, 01:48 AM
    ITstudent2006
    My Fiance's grandmother won't backdown!
    I am 22 years old. I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years. I recently asked her to marry me. We are getting married in 2010.

    Everyone is happy and supportive except for her grandma.
    She believes we are too young and we are rushing.

    Does anyone have suggestions on what I should do? She will not stop no matter who says what! Will this effect our relationhip (mine and my fience) she is close with her grandma!
  • Dec 21, 2008, 10:53 AM
    talaniman

    What does your g/f say?
  • Dec 21, 2008, 06:02 PM
    ITstudent2006
    She just tells me that her grandma did that to all the new guys/girls in the family. But I feel mine is more personal, I have been a model b/f. I graduate school in April, I have a steady job, good money, nice car, I don't see the problem. My g/f pretty much tells me not to lt it get to me, but I can't have it that way, I want everyone to support us.
  • Dec 21, 2008, 06:37 PM
    jjwoodhull
    It sounds like the Grandmother is hazing you. Maybe she is testing your commitment because she knows how difficult marriage can be. Stand up for yourself and for your girlfriend without being disrespectful.

    Congratulations on the engagement!
  • Dec 21, 2008, 06:41 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ITstudent2006 View Post
    She just tells me that her grandma did that to all the new guys/girls in the family. But I feel mine is more personal, I have been a model b/f. I graduate school in April, I have a steady job, good money, nice car, I don't see the problem. My g/f pretty much tells me not to lt it get to me, but I can't have it that way, I want everyone to support us.

    If your girl friend says she does this to all the new guys and not to worry, sounds like that is your problem, maybe a pride thing. You have this coming year and the next. Don't sweat it.
  • Dec 21, 2008, 06:47 PM
    TrueFaith

    You got a year and a bit with her anyway

    A lot can change in that time.

    Stick with it
    And don't let it bring you down.

    Just tell her once and tell your girlfriend I hope I prove her wrong

    Regards
  • Dec 22, 2008, 09:21 AM
    ITstudent2006
    Thanks for the replies! I am always on this forum and I have never really discussed this with anyone so I figured what the heck! But on a serious note thank you to all who replied!

    Greatly appreciated!
  • Dec 22, 2008, 09:35 AM
    talaniman

    Your g/f is right though, and I would sure listen to her. If you do get married, listening to her will save you a bunch of confusion, and trouble later, so start practicing now.
  • Dec 22, 2008, 10:57 AM
    Ber Rabbit
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ITstudent2006 View Post
    ... but I can't have it that way, I want everyone to support us.

    This statement is a bit troubling. When you are married there will be many difficult times where the only person you have available to lean on is your spouse. You have to learn to accept that not everyone will like or support your decisions. Spouses are teammates, that's something you will have to remain focused on when grandmother or the in-laws start disapproving of something you're doing whether that's getting married, commenting about how you're wasting your money or even butting in about how you're doing a terrible job raising your children. There will always be someone who thinks their way is better and you have to learn to diplomatically deal with them because odds are you will never change their mind. Stay focused on keeping the lines of communication open with your spouse and address these problems in a united manner and you will do just fine.
    Ber
  • Dec 22, 2008, 11:56 AM
    ITstudent2006
    OK, there is a lot of great advice that came from all of you and I appreciate it all.

    Thanks Again!

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