I think I might be developing anorexia. NOT anorexia nevrosa, but anorexia.

I read about eating disorders on the internet, and I found that there is a difference between the two, nevrosa is when you diet and\or exercise excessively, and I don't do that

But I have had really big problems with eating, I hardly eat. This goes up and down and varies from week to week.

Sometimes when I try to eat its fine at first, but then after a few bites I am unable to swallow the food. So I try to take smaller bites, it doesn't work, I try to swallow food with something to drink: it doesn't work and I start to gag when I try to force myself to eat.

I had a problem with this when I was 18 and I was able to get over it once I realized what could happen.

If I haven't eaten in a while, I get hungry, but in order to eat I have to really want a specific thing and eat that. And I can't wait too long before I eat, b\c then I won't.

So in may I started taking zoloft b\c I have panic anxiety and I lost my appetite completely, then I quit, but this summer I was raped and I started taking the zoloft again and this time I had more appetite then the first time I took them, but it was still pretty low.

So once more I quit and now I feel the sensation of hunger once more.

Does anyone have any suggestions to have I can beat this? B\c I want to stop it NOW! I want to eat, be healthy! (this has made a big impact on my health. I'm sick all the time. I try to eat after a scedual, and the days I work I'm usually able to keep it. But the days I'm at uni I'm not able to do it. :(

I'm sorry that this is a little long.

Zoloft has made my appetite drop too,then they put me on Depakote and it made me feel 'ravenous'.

Maybe,instead of jumping on and off medications,you might ask for something along the lines of Depakote(it was developed for seizure disorders then adapted to manic depression as a mood stabilizer)

The gagging might be psychological or physical,the doctor would have to determine the nature.

Hope this helped!

KBC

It did thank you KBC!

I have a feeling that the gagging is like an unconscious mental thing... I'm going to call my doctor after the holidays and make an appointment.

GOOD,I'd like to hear how it all turns out!

I'll keep you updated! :)

I'd like to know how it goes also, because I've been experiencing a similar thing with the not being able to eat. As you know already from previously posting on my thread, I was also raped this summer. I don't know if that has anything to do with it, maybe it's just a combination of things... stress, depression, I don't know. But I'd like to know what you find out and if there's anything to do about it. Thanks and good luck :)

You got raped? What a horrible thing. You have my sympathies!

A thing like that you can just casually throw in a thread like this -.-

Hope everything works out.

I wasn't randomly throwing it out there. Roxy posted on my thread about my rape on this site, and I just wanted to let her know that I've been experiencing similar eating issues...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mcrunner

I wasn't randomly throwing it out there. Roxy posted on my thread about my rape on this site, and I just wanted to let her know that I've been experiencing similar eating issues...

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I never saw your post, sorry for the confusion. I was referring to roxypox
Your post is entirely relevant.


My sympathies goes out to you as well.

yeah I was raped this summer, just like mcrunner... two different circumstances. I told mcrunner about it in her post.

Mcrunner; I think it might have something to do with it. I really do have problems with the swallowing... My sister and I are having a new years party and she and two friends of ours set the menu the other day and she told me it would be 25 $ for each of us... and I freaked out. I got insecure about the food, and thoughts like; eating with the others would be hard, the food will be hard, how much will I eat.. how long can I cover up the fact that when I do eat I'm not able to eat that much at the time.

made me literally cry. I really don't want to be like this.

yeah, I think it might be the rape, and stress and anxiety and stupid x boyfriend making the rape about him... and how painful it was for him to hear about it etc. I was doing really good, I was making so much progress, and then he called me out of the blue the other day after a month with NC (I changed my cellnumber, he had gotten a hold of it) and he started to fight with me again, about how hard it was for him, this summer, this fall, the break up... so I just started to yell at him and told him to erase my number, and forget me b\c I don't want anything to do with him.

I'm seeing a pscychologist though, which has helped loads. I'm through the 5 steps of grief when it comes to the rape, and the x boyfriend had 'moved out of my head', but his call just brought up so many new problems, he is disrespecting me!

I think it might have something to do with x mas as well... I hate xmas. It might sound silly... but I really do. I have had so many bad xmasses that now I dread it like a month or a month and a half in advance! My mom is on pills (like doped out on them), when she is she's kind of mean to me which makes me mad when she says mean things to me so I answer back and tell her to grab a hold of herself. (it's complicated, but I basicluy grew up having to take care or and be a kind of a mother for my mom, my siblings and being my dads support system) and dad wants to leave mom, and now she suddenly knows so the two of them don't talk about it with each other, but with me and my sister...

when I was 18 I had the same problem as ido now. I got over it though, and it wasn't as bad as it is now, but I think it was b\c of my mom. Since I was a kid she has always said mean stuff whenever she saw an overweight person on TV or in person. Like 'juck! Eeeewh, look at that, who would ever want to be with a person who's fat'

personally I never care how people look, or how much they weigh, it's their personality that matter!I'm a very non judgmental person! But I guess, subconsciously I have let her superficial and silly opinions affect me and I've applied it to myself... :( maybe b\c she hates it so much, I've just wanted to avoid some of the meanness...

Mcrunner; have you a problem with your body now? Like people keep telling me how skinny I am, but I just see so many flaws...

thank you both! For the good lucks :)

Lol one more thing, I think I'm really starting to see that my mom is really affecting me in this...

She has placed so much emphassis on the exterior of people and her house etc. And I just remembered that in the summer of 2006 I weighted a lot more then I do now... I looked like I was pregnant!

And when I started to loose the weight (in a healthy way, I was careful not to stop eating, I just started eathing healthier stuff and I eat fruit and I eat a little less with each meal, but more often... every 3-4 hours. ) every time I loose weight my mom seems really happy with me.. like 'oh, you lost weight, you look really good hun'!

LOL I'm so going to talk to my psychologist about this the next time I'm there...

Happy holidays to all of you though! :)

I think it is good that your getting help because sometimes when bad things happen to you it takes a toll on you without you even knowing. Going through what you been through I can see how come you don't have an appetite and it takes a strong person to survive it.

Years ago, after my grandma past, I was on Zoloft. The side effects was too much that my therapist made me take half instead of the whole pill. Eventually I stopped taking it altogether but I wish you the best and keep everyone posted.

I wanted to add that even though you don't have an appetite, try to drink ensure or protein drinks so that your getting all the nutrients you need. Take vitamins and try to drink plenty of water and if anything eat fruits.

I should that the protein drink will help build your appetite back up because it helped builded my back up.

Thank you so much Liz!! I'll try that! :) I hadn't hit me that there might be ways to build up my appetite!

Your welocme because those things helped me.

Also, I made smoothies and have you ever heard of a drink called Naked? That another good drink.

Yeah, smoothies that's a very good idea! No I haven't heard of it...

I have good news, :D I've started to eat regularly, like I used to do :) makes me really hopeful, I eat 4-5 meals a day. I started to take some vitamin supplements, and I was able to regulate my sleeping patterns and this fall I partied a lot, and I've stopped that too... :) lets hope it holds ;)

Good for you!